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The Crucible
 
Badnews008

check out the new vids on u tube
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
I am ruler of these nether worlds! For me, search no more!
Posted:Mar 8, 2012 7:33 am
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2016 5:19 pm
88067 Views

I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just want to be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won''t eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger''s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar

I want to be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free

I think I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me

I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name

'Cause we all just
Want to be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses
Driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and
The drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny
'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything
With that evil smile
Everybody's got a
drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
From a Pez dispenser
When they ask why I drink all day
I'll say because I can

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get 'em wrong
Then listen to the fans tell me how damn good I am

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just want to be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar



9 Comments
Still Alive!
Posted:Aug 15, 2019 4:56 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2021 7:58 pm
7750 Views

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Aboard a train
I met a dame
She was a hipster
Man a real gone dame
She wasn't pretty
For New York City
As we strut down on that ol' fairlane
With a heave and a ho
I just couldn't let her go

Get along
Sweet little woman get along
On your way
Get along
Sweet little woman get along
On your way
With a heave and a ho
I just couldn't let her go

The train kept a rollin' all night long
The train kept a rollin' all night long
The train kept a rollin' all night long
The train kept a rollin' all night long
With a heave and a ho
I just couldn't let her go

I made a stop round Albuquerque
She must'a thought I was real gone jerk
Got off the train at El Paso
A' looking so good I couldn't let her go
With a heave and a ho
I just couldn't let her go

The train kept a rollin' all night long
The train kept a rollin' all night long
The train kept a rollin' all night long
The train kept a rollin' all night long
With a heave and a ho
I just couldn't let her go




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1 comment
Me and the Princess 2
Posted:May 28, 2018 4:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 2:43 pm
8518 Views
This picture pretty much defines our relationship!
0 Comments
Fifty one fifty
Posted:Dec 28, 2017 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2018 1:59 pm
9545 Views

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The love line is never straight and narrow
Unless your love is tried and true
We take a chance with new beginnings
Still we try win or lose
Take the highs with the blues

Always more
You're never satisfied
Share for all with you
It's only for me
Ah, why draw the line
And meet you half the way
And you don't know
What the means, oh yeah

I feel like a running politician, oh
Just trying to please you all the time
I've given you myself with no conditions
Going wide, running long
Feeling lost but not for long

Always more
You're never satisfied
Share for all with you
It's only for me
So why draw the line
Meet you half the way
When you don't know
What that means, oh yeah

Always more
You're never satisfied
Share for all with you
It's only for me
So why draw the line
And meet you half the way
When you don't know
What that means

I'll meet you half the way
Whoa yeah
I'll meet you half the way
Whoa yeah



Well this will be a short . I'm pretty sure the princess and I are d! I have mixed feelings about it of course. On the hand I really liked her, but on the other, she has way to many issues and baggage to deal with. And not just her drug habit which she apparently has licked, for the moment. She's way too selfish and self centered. She's really quick minded, unfortunately, she's not very wise or experienced in certain matters. So she tends to jump to conclusions, and they're usually wrong. She's also probably tired of waiting for me to get this project I've been alluding to off the ground. It would have gotten d sor if she was working with me. Instead, she just expect me to do everything and then she'll just step in and out here and there after I get everything running. But getting to that point is the hard part. Also, I'm a little hesitant to start working with this new thing. I think I'm afraid of success. I know it sounds strange, but I'll get over it. I have to get things going again here. So, that's the way they are heading I suppose.
For Christmas, I sent her a nice Christmas and gift card with it. She ed me and thanked me and apologized because she didn't get me anything, not even a card. That's okay, I didn't expect she would. I sent her a the other day and she didn't respond. So, that's it as far as I'm concerned. I think she has a new boyfriend and doesn't want me to know about it. I'm relieved she found some closer to her own age and isn't bothering me anymore. Now, I'm sure you think I'm just sitting around pulling my pud? But no, actually I've been very busy. I had sex with a girl younger and prettier than the princess recently! So, I don't really need her or her bullshit. Yeah, she initiated it, believe it or not! I don't usually turn down sex from attractive girls, so we had a nice time. The only thing was, she really sucked my dick good. I'm not used to girls with that much energy and technique. She hit all the right spots and she was like a hoover! LOL! I thought I was going to have a heart attack she was so goddamn good!
But anyway, the point of this post is the van halen song 5150. I've been practicing it and I may do it as a video? Here's the thing about this song and probably why, even if you do guitar you haven't attempted to it. First, it's a really hard fucking metal song to rip on the guitar. But mainly it's the tuning. It's tuned down half a step and the low E is tuned down a whole step or a step and a half in this case. I've had trouble ing it over the and I just diovered why. I have several Van Halen guitars and even have the same model Eddie uses in the videos. But, when I try to tune down it sounds like a muddled mess. The reason for that is, with the Floyd rose locking tremolo you have to have it set up for half step tuning down. I can do it myself of course or take it to my tech and have him do it. But it's only for freaking song. I don't want to have to go through all of that just to goddamn song! So I ran through just about all of my guitars and they all came out sounding like shit. So, this time when I ed it, I finally did something different. I thought about it, and an idea occurred to me. "Hey, what about that new Les Paul thing I got a while ago, that might work "? Turns out, it was perfect! It doesn't have a tremolo, but that's not important. I was able to tune it down and it didn't get all messy and shitty sounding. It held up on the intonation and sounded great. I just ed along with the record and it sounded fine. The reason is, it just has to be tuned and doesn't need the intonation adjusted because the bridge is standard and doesn't move. When it comes to reproducing the whammy bar sounds, I can do that, but just in an alternative way, like turning the machine heads or bending the strings behind my pressing fingers. It's a little more involved but any pro like me can handle it.
So now that I have that problem settled. I guess I have to finish setting things up with my Lawyer and then I'm rich again. Yeah, whoop dee doo!
Well, if anything, this experience with the princess, gave me insight to what it would have been like if I had gotten involved with the Jewish princess Anya Erica! I can now see, that would have never worked either. Oh well.

Addendum

Well, like I said, I'm pretty sure the Princess and I are d now! I was walking around a local pawn shop, nearby to where the princess lives and guess what I saw? Remember I told you she showed me her guitar, and that it needed repair, so I took it to my guitar tech and had them fix it up? I saw that guitar hanging on the wall. It was no mistaking it. I recognized the dents and ratches on it. So, after all that work and expense I did, she just took it to the pawn shop and got like twenty bucks for it. She has also unfriended me online on of the sites too. These events depressed the shit out of me. I know, it's what I wanted. I wanted her to find some else and stop bothering me. Apparently she has, but I'm still a little bummed about it. I really shouldn't be. The relationship was never going to go anywhere. I didn't want to get involved with her, and she didn't either. But for totally different reasons. Mine of course is the fact that she's a Leo, and for that reason al it never would have worked. Also, if we were dating, it would have been much harder on me right now. I bothers me a little bit, but not that much. But I feel after seeing her pawning her guitar after I did so much to fix it up for her was like a slap in the face. I thought about buying it and giving back to her. But then I realized she was just sell it again. I can't make her act responsible or respectful. But now it's like I'm seeing her true nature. It was there all along, I just chose to ignore it, because I was smitten by her beauty and charm. And the fact she was dating that piece of shit drug dealer while she was extracting favors from me. That says a lot too, that I chose to ignore. All my friends around us at the time saw the situation for what it was, that she was just using me. But I ignored them, and now here we are, LOL! I don't know why she did that or what's going on in her situation at the moment. I do know she's not contacting me. So, if I had to speculate, I'd say she might have g back to drugs. If she did that, she'll also be going back to jail! But I don't know that right now. Last I heard she was still going to meetings, unless she was lying to me. I think she just wanted to cut me out of her life and move on. I hope that's the case. But, she does have a self destructive bent to her personality. So anything's possible. But if she tries to come at me again and run her old game, she'll be in for a big surprise! I won't be having any of it and she'll be in a world of hurt, of her own making. But, we'll see. If anything new pops up, I'll let you know.

Addendum

Let's try this again! I had written a long post here, but I click on the wrong item on this stupid fucking page and it deleted everything. No matter, it was mainly me ranting about some asshole I once knew and still hate! Anyhoo! Yeah, I ran into the Princess, on the street. She pulled up next to me and we chatted. She wanted to know if I made any progress with our project. First, she's still clean and she's been working a full time job and is still going meetings! Good news as far as I'm concerned! At the time I still had not made any progress. But that's good because now I'm debating if I want her in on it. She's not interested in me unless I can do something for her. I still see her guitar, the I fixed up for her, hanging in the pawn shop. It broke my heart! I'm still upset about it! Well, anyway, as is usually the case with things like this and me. I started to do thing, and I ended up doing something else, or getting what I originally wanted! I went to cancel everything and figured I re-sign up to it later or when I got the shit sorted out better. I was bleeding to much , it had to stop. In the process, I got in a conversation with a tech at of the websites, I was telling him what I was trying to do. He looks up my account and then tells me "Oh, you have all that already " I said "WHAT!!! Yeah, turns out I got side tracked with a bunch of bullshit I didn't really need! So, I just finished setting everything up and now I'm in business. Or in other words, "I'm rich, bitch" ! LOL! Yeah, there's nothing stopping me now. But here is the thing. I haven't told the princess or any else, and I don't plan to. I have a feeling Erica or her associates are still checking in on me here to see what I'm up to. So, Erica now knows something the Princess or her doppelganger doesn't know! Isn't that interesting? I was inserting Erica in my dreams that I later realized were about the Princess, because they are so similar to another, or soul sisters. I also found out the reason the Doors didn't the Monterey Pop festival in 1967 is because they would NOT be paid. All the artist donated their s. And Ray was a grubbing bastard who lacked foresight. So that's why they didn't that historic gig. I know this because that's what Jim said about Ray once when he tried to sell the Light my fire song to Buick to sell cars. See, it's all relevant!

Addendum

Holy shit it did it again! I just started to write the post and the fucking thing erased it! Okay, lets try this again! I must be wearing orthopedic shoes because I stand corrected! I stopped by to visit the Princess yesterday and had a chat with her. Everything I had been assuming about her and her behavior has been wrong! I'll tell you more about that in a moment but first I want to talk about my Nostradamus prophecy concerning the Eagles winning the super bowl against the invincible Patriots led by the golden boy Tom Brady. I could have and should have written this the day before because every detail I'd been telling everyone about the event came true! I've always had a little precognition ability with things now and then. But this time I was right on the money ! I can't control it, or will it to work for me, it just comes and goes when every it wants. Okay, here is the situation. I don't follow sports or football in particular. I have other things to occupy my mind and I don't have the time or desire for that stuff. You can make a career out of just following stats if you wanted to. Additionally, I've never watched a super bowl with the Patriots playing, I understand they've played quite a few times and won most if not all of them! Same goes for the Eagles. If I ever saw an Eagles game it was totally random and by accident. The last time I even remember watching an entire super bowl game was thirty years ago because I was visiting a friend in college. His roommate wanted to watch the game and it was the only television so we were stuck watching it. I remember Reagan did a coin toss in the white house for something related to the game like who would do the first kick off! Anyway, everybody lately has been talking about the eagles and the patriots playing in the super bowl. And everybody was expecting the patriots to win, again! Even people who are die hard eagles fans were reluctantly accepting the fact the Pats were going to win! I'm the only one, who not only wasn't a fan or following the game that told them the truth about the matter. And every single thing I said came true. I don't know shit about the game or the teams. Here is what I told everybody, and not only one time, I told several people at different times this prediction. I said, " the Eagles are going to win, and Tom Brady is going to throw the game ". And then I told them why. " Because everyone is expecting the Patriots to win, they've had an incredible winning streak and won how many fucking super bowls already. So, because they're the heavily favored, all the bets from the gambling houses are going to be on them! So, when the suck ass Eagles win they'll all clean up like mother fuckers "! And I was right! Now, I watched the game last night just to see if my predictions were correct? And they were but I notice something else as well. I saw the Eagles quarter backs eyes! Nick Foles, his eyes told the whole story or the one I've just related. As I was watching the game last night, I was thinking the look in his eyes was one of determination, to winning the game. I now realize that wasn't what I was witnessing! He knew, as in, he knew the fix was in and he was going to win! It's the same look you see from anyone who has inside information and then watches themselves win big as a result of it! As for Tom Brady and the rest of the team! Holy shit, it was so obvious he was throwing the game he could be sued in court! First of all, did you see that kicker miss the goal posts? I couldn't believe I actually witnessed that at a super bowl game. Secondly and more egregious, was Tom throwing incompletes all over the fucking place. Hey, I've never watched him play before, and I don't have to. Millions of people have watched him and they know for a fact how good he is! I saw him throw a pass and it went right to the catchers feet! I know he did that on purpose! Another time he held on to the ball until he got sacked by the other teams offense! I'm watching this and I can't fucking believe it! So anyway, I was telling people as recently as yesterday afternoon. I said, " Somebody told Tom he was going to throw the game and by how many points "! And that's exactly what happened! Because somebody or a group of somebodies saw this as a great opportunity to make a lot of money , and they cleaned up! The weird thing was, I felt it and could sense where the trend was going but no else I spoke to could see it. And I talked to some die hard sports fans who know the game and the teams inside and out. I was wondering if my words I spoke to them about this game are haunting them now?
Anyhoo, well, now about the Princess. First, I went to the bank the day before and found out someone was bleeding my account dry! That's partly why I was having trouble getting this project started. The Princess texted me that day and offered to give me money to get things going. I told her thank you, but that's not necessary, I just have to manage the money I already have a little better. And mainly, what's holding us up, is not or lack of it. I'm on a learning curve and I'm still discovering things. I have to get a handle on this whole thing before I can get started. I think I've finally figured out a way. It's a big huge complicated process and a lot to learn and know. Incidentally, I'm working on difficult songs or music on my guitar at the moment too. I figure, by working on complicated stuff, my learning mechanism will kick in and I'll figure out all the other stuff I'm working on too. And yeah, that seems to be the case. See, those guitar lessons pay for themselves sometimes? Speaking of guitars, while I was there visiting the Princess, I asked her about her guitar? She said it's still there but she doesn't have time to work with it. She's been working ten hours days six days a week. She says she has fifteen hundred dollars saved towards buying a car. So, turns out, the guitar I saw in the pawn shop wasn't' her's after all! And she wouldn't have sold it for money, because she has plenty of it now. So, I guess I assumed incorrectly about the situation. I told her about talking to a tech and getting the other thing straightened out. She replies, " oh, I knew you didn't need that ". I asked her " why she didn't say something sooner "? She says, " because you were being a racist ". Because I called her piece of shit drug dealing felon spic boyfriend a piece of shit drug dealing felon spic! Hey, I call them as I see them! I told her " I'm not a racist ". Which is true, I hate just as many white people as I do minorities and those freaks who don't know what sex they are! Even more probably! Well, like I said, I finally feel like I'm getting a handle on this whole project thing. There is nothing stopping me. I do feel a little hesitation and fear about it. That's partly why I still haven't acted on it! I don't know how to explain it, but there is this weird illogical part of my mind that wants to hold me back or fears success. I think it's that I fear change more. For now, I'm comfortable and enjoy a predictable existence! If I do this new thing, all this will change. Of course it will change for the better, but I don't necessarily need that now! If I were married, I'd probably have a wife pressuring me to do things quickly. The princess tries to push me a little, but not really. She's not normal or has normal thinking about things. Which works in my favor here, I guess, because I can be a lazy mother fucker about things sometimes. LOL!


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0 Comments
Celebration of the Lizard
Posted:Nov 20, 2017 3:42 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2017 3:26 pm
10072 Views

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AWAKE

Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty , my sweet .
Choose the day and
choose the sign of your day
The day's divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach
in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by it's quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad
Smug in the woolly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient s
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.



Okay this will be about Jim Morrison, and associated connections. But first I have to tell the latest about the on going saga of me and the princess. Yeah it's still going but I kind of wish it wasn't or was over. On the surface it seems like a good deal for me. A young attractive girl who's full of life and energy. But, we're not compatible. We have different values and ideas. Mainly she's not attracted to me or I'm not her type. She likes me, to an extent, but not in a romantic or relationship type of way. That's actually okay with me, because I don't agree with a lot of her ideas and attitudes. Part of it is our difference in age, but even if that weren't a factor or we were the same age, it would still be the same situation. Another main sticking point is that she's a Leo. She says and does a lot of mean things that same other asshole Leo friend of mine used to do too. It's weird, because I see almost the exact same patterns in both or them. So, the fact that she's a Leo al by itself is a deal breaker. Then we fight and argue all the time. I don't understand why we associate with another at all. I eventually came to that conclusion with the asshole and it's starting to dawn on me here now too! For one thing, she's hard core! She did hard core drugs, dates a hard core gangbanger, listens to hardcore music. She goes to the clubs to see these hardcore punk, , death metal bands! But, she still tries to pass herself off to me as this sweet innocent girl that loves flowers and horses! She thinks I don't notice or I'm not aware. Probably because I don't make an issue out of it. When ever I do try to broach the subject, that's when the fireworks start going off. Apparently, I'm not allowed to lecture her on her personal life or behavior, even while I'm subsidizing it! Even her female behaviors aren't really normal or as they should be. I was over her place and she showed me her guitars! Yeah, right, exactly, I didn't know she had anything like that stuff either! She mentioned something to me once about "dabbling " with the guitar. But she didn't really discuss it very much. Then while I'm there, she whips out an electric guitar and an acoustic she has. She knows I'm a big guitar enthusiast and everything, and just now she decides to show me her gear? So, I took a look at it. The acoustic is totally shot, beyond repair. But the electric could be salvaged. She has a little amp too. So, I told her I'll take everything to my guitar tech and have it fixed up like new! Which I did! She was also missing a few things, like cords, straps, picks, and instruction manuals. I got all that stuff for her! A week later I invited her over for a private lesson. Before hand, I asked her what her favorite band and song was. She told me the band, " Iron Maiden " and the song " wasted years "! So, I learned it for her. I thought I'd try to entertain her. So, she comes over. We sit down facing each other with our guitars. I try to show her the basic chords, and she is unable to form them. She had broken her wrist twice, and it had never been set right. So, she can't hold the neck properly to form the chords. She can have her wrist reset, but not now, because she's taking that anti narcotic drug naloxone. Also she can't have pain killers in her system because she's on parole. So, she can't play the guitar until all that stuff is taken care of, but it doesn't seem like it will be anytime soon. I did ask her to show me what she knew before she told me about her wrist and she knows the main riff for Iron Man, the Sabbath song. So, she does know something and I had a glimmer of hope for a moment. But, then because she couldn't play, but let me go ahead and get all worked up at the prospect that I would actually be able to teach her something. We later got into another argument! In the never ending series of arguments! But before she left, I played her favorite Iron Maiden song. She didn't freak out with, " Oh wow, you totally nailed that dude, it was like being at the show "! It's was more like, " oh, okay, thanks, see you later ". I've never had a woman react like that after I just played their favorite song for them live. See what I mean by her not having normal reactions to things? I guess after all the hardcore shit she was into that I mentioned previously, anything else would seem a little boring, huh? She had another meeting to go to. She goes to those things constantly. Which she should! Then we got into another fight over her dumb fuck loser drug dealer felon spic boyfriend! Of which, as you may have surmised, I'm forbidden to discuss with her about! I'll tell you exactly what I said. His Spanish name is Alamo. So I ed him Anal mo! And told her he sucked off every con in the joint and would bend over for a pack of cigarettes! Well, of course this didn't sit very well with her, and I endured a barrage of insults with her telling me she never wanted to see me again! Yeah, fat chance huh? So, she was doing her community service , and the guy in charge, who's black incidentally, started dangling all these goodies and prizes in front of her. He said he ran some program where she could work her way into an apartment and a car! She told me about it, then when she learned the catch. She calls me up, or comes running back to me more accurately, and tells me, "that ni**er wanted me to fuck him"! Big surprise huh? I told her I thought she was a little naïve to think he was going to do all that for free! LOL! Well, anyway, we were hanging out again for a while, and I thought everything was okay. Then all of a sudden she pulls some shit on me, standing me up. By now, nothing about her or her behavior surprises me. I haven't heard from her in a few days. Oh, don't worry, she hasn't gone more then a week since the day I met her before she comes roaring back into my life with her next drama. I think she met some guy at one of her meetings and is probably dating him, and doesn't want me to know. Until he pulls something, then she'll come crying to me about it. I hope she just meets some nice, semi normal guy, and just stays with him and forgets all about me! That's my Christmas wish! Then that spoiled cunt can be some else's problem, for sure!

Addendum

Well, it looks like I might be getting my Christmas wish after all! Turns out I was completely right about the princess and her behavior. It's almost like I can read her like a book. I assumed that when she started withdrawing from me, it was because she had someone else in her life. I was a hundred percent right! Fortunately, it's not that spic scumbag she usually kicks it with. I believe he's still locked up. There's some other guy she knows, she said that they used to work together. He's visiting from New York, and she hung out with him this past weekend. I don't know if he has other friends or relatives in this area he was staying with, or he came down here to crash on her couch? It doesn't really matter. All I know is, she started getting really ugly with me, or tried to create a conflict between us over some stupid shit. Then she hangs up on me. I haven't heard from her since. Don't worry, she'll come running back to me, as soon as she discovers her knight in shining armor isn't a knight at all, but just another horny guy. For some reason she always seems to be disappointed when she discovers that fact about men. LOL!
Well, there's more to this situation then I've alluded to, of course. And I was going to try to explain it to her. But, seeing how she's so self centered and oblivious to anything but her own reality, I don't know how I'll be able to tell her. I tried the last time she came over and I thought I was going to teach her the guitar. When she was sitting across from me, I mentioned, " you know, there are many others who want to take your place "! She reacts with something like " that's rude as fuck saying that shit to me "! Maybe so, but that doesn't mean it's not true. What that problem is, we have this project were working on together. Right now, she has me all to herself, because I'm not involved with anyone else presently. She thinks she has me on a shelf and can take me down to play with anytime she gets bored. My ex wife kind of thought the same thing, but never even speculated that I was running around fucking the world when we weren't together. The princess has the same notion. So what I see as a potential problem, is in the future, that might not always be the case. If I do meet someone, because I find someone I actually do have something in common with and, lethal to her, they actually care about me. She will get squeezed out of the picture! Already, I have women around me tell me that they think she's just using me. And they don't even know a fraction of the details. So, if someone I'm actually dating comes into the picture, she's toast. And for my part. As much as I would like to continue a relationship with her. If the person I'm involved with wants something, it will be far more difficult for me to refuse their wishes. Than the person who only is interested in me when I can be useful to them. She doesn't see this contingency for some reason. She thinks, she'll just do what ever she wants, and I'll just stay the same or always be the same situation for her. I can see that not happening, she can't. As I said, when I tried to broach the subject by telling her I have others ready to take her place, she acts like I'm insulting her or something. No, I'm just trying to inject some reality into her delusional fantasy she has about me and the situation. But, maybe I won't have to worry after all. Hopefully, she hooked up with this guy and ran away with him back to New York. That way she can escape her parole officer and go back to doing all the drugs she wants. Which I sincerely believe is what she really wants to do! I know what you're thinking, she'll get caught and dragged back there to face incarceration and whatever else they want to give her. Oh, but you're not thinking realistically here. She used to tell me, how her drug dealer spic boyfriend knew all of the tricks to evade his parole officer and get over on the system. I'm sure he taught her everything he knows! I know I told you he's currently locked up, so you might be wondering how that happened? Probably an anomaly or a fluke. That won't happen to her of course! You see now why she isn't concerned about another woman coming into my life and giving her the heave ho?

The Curious Case of Jim Morrison

Manson just died, and he's connected to the Jimbo saga too! There has been a million things written about Jim, before and since he died. He had the most unusual life and music career trajectory of any person I've ever heard about. It's like he wasn't just one person, but many different people and lives, all lived simultaneously and very quickly then he was gone. But his legacy was so rich and full, it's still churning out material for the rest of us to chew on. I think centuries from now, people will still be talking about him or at the very least, know of him and his life. Very strange, indeed. I just want to make my own personal observations and experiences. First of all, he was associated with people and things that are still active today, that I'm sure most people aren't aware of. Like for instance, the band Kansas! They're still touring. Some of the members jammed with Jim, shortly before he left for Paris and died. They went on to form that band and were of the biggest acts of the seventies. There were lots of examples like that, of people he casually knew, who went on to rock stardom themselves. Another one you might never have guessed, is Rick James. Apparently he knew him slightly better and he went on to live a debauched rock star life that eventually killed him as well. I have more stories and insights but I'll tell you my own experiences with the Doors. First, I never really liked or was a fan for a long time. Of course I liked the hits like " Light my fire " LA woman ", " Roadhouse blues ", " Love me two times ". But there was this other, heavy side of him, with the poetry stuff I didn't get or was hard to relate to. Also, because, like the Beatles, their material was so diverse I didn't even realize that it was the same band when listening to the songs. Like for instance, I would hear " Hello I Love you "! and think, " oh, that's cool ". And then I'd hear " Touch Me ". and I'd think, " oh, that's another cool song. But at the time, it didn't seem like it was the same person or band performing both songs. Because one was a big band sound and the other was much simpler. So, my sisters friends would bring their albums over and I would listen to them. There was no internet of even cable in those days. If you didn't know some who owned some of these albums, you never heard the shit. And no, they didn't play them on the radio either, because they had some foul language to them. So, even the FM stations that did play albums, only played certain safe records. And the Doors, apparently weren't safe! LOL! So, I'm listening to the Absolutely live album. I heard a few songs I knew and then Jim would start ranting his heavy poetry shit I didn't understand and couldn't relate to. So, I put a David Bowie album on, I think it was " Aladdin Sane "! Then later, or when I became older and grew my hair longer, I noticed I had a facial similarity to his. Our chin lines are the same, but we have different noses. Also my hair is curlier and lighter brown. People would later tell me I resembled him, but they also told me I resembled Robert Plant too! Go figure. Oh yeah, Jim heavily influenced Robert Plant and Led Zeppelin! Actually they're the same band, just on a grander scale! Even though Jim was dead and gone, left us here to sing his songs, his phantom stayed around! It was always lurking around in the media or the rock and roll press. Then at the end of the seventies I think, the biography, " No here gets out alive " caused a new resurgence of interest in the Doors and Jims life. I remember standing in the crowd of my first Stones show! (Rolling Stones) and they were playing songs on the PA before Mick and Keef came out! When the Doors song " LA woman " came on, there was huge roar through out the crowd. It was the only song they played that evoked that response from those wasted stoners that day! Then after much talk about a movie and possibly a tour with a new singer sitting in for Jim. Everything died down and nothing was heard from for about ten years . But the Doors stuff was still lurking around. They never stopped playing their songs on the radio, and they still would write articles about them from time to time. Then, Oliver Stone, who was a big Doors fan, finally picked up the gauntlet and made a movie about the Doors. It was a big hit and brought a whole new generation of interest to the band and Jimbo. Also, Jims grave in Paris has always been a major tourist attraction. The Princess I'm currently involved with, visited it once her damn self. And then ten years later, the remaining Doors finally got it together and enlisted Ian Astbury who was a Jim Morrison clone and also a big Doors devotee himself and toured with them. Now, this next sentence you will not believe, but it's absolutely the truth! I know I mentioned I would include my own experiences with the Doors. And when I said that, you probably pictured me jerking off in a corner while one of their albums was playing on the stereo! LOL! But, no, I actually interacted with one of the main surviving members and Jims best friend Ray Manzarek! I was at a festival he performed at up in the Poconos. I think it was called " the gathering "! It was a big nostalgic hippie affair! And Ray did a meet and greet with the fans! I also met Bill Wyman of the Stones and Marty from Jefferson Airplane. When Ray was in front of me, I asked him " who he was getting to replace Jim, Scott Weiland or Ian "? He replied that " he and Robby were working on some songs and that's all he was going to say at the moment ". He went with Ian obviously. And Scott went on to form Velvet Revolver with Slash after his lead singer Axel, lost his mind! LOL!
But despite all the real world stuff about the Doors, there's this other eerie other worldly things associated with them I want to relate in my own experiences. I finally actually did get to see one of those new reformed Doors shows at one of Trumps casino's of all places. They were doing a TV show for VH1. And again, I'm not making this up. Something strange happened! They did the whole four hour show, and then they told the audience, they had a problem with the taping machine in the truck that was parked outside. So, they all had to perform the whole show, with like three opening acts and everything all over again! I was staying at the hotel so it wasn't a problem for me. But my friend who still had to drive two and a half hours home again, had it rough. So, I got an eight hour Doors show. And I think they did a few different songs the second time. I know this because Ian was just as big a fan as people in the audience kept petitioning Ray and Robbie with suggestions of different songs. I think he said, " lets doing something sick, like not to touch the earth "? I think they actually did that one too. And that's another strange thing. I had the Doors greatest hits in my collection. If you would have asked me, while i was a , what is the song most likely you would never hear performed live? I would have told you it was that song, not to touch the earth. Because, it's a strange song, the singer is long dead, and the band broke up. But, there they were, The Doors, with a reincarnated Jim Morrison look alike, performing not to touch the earth right in front of me! Weird man, it's freaking weird, that's all I'm saying! Okay another strange Doors encounter I had, in a most unusual place. This happened before the Doors movie or any of the other stuff I just mentioned. I was on vacation in Florida one time. It was a rainy dreary day, so I decided to take a drive. I got on one of the highways and was just cruising along. I was listening to the radio. They were playing obscure tracks from some of my favorite rock albums. Then they played a Doors song from the first album. I don't remember which song , but it wasn't one of the more popular songs from that album like " light my fire " or " break on through '. While it was listening I had this weird eerie feeling. I didn't have it for any of the other songs I heard on the radio that day. Then much later, or even years later. I learned that stretch of highway I was on, Jim Morrison used to hitch hike there when he was a living in Florida! Ray talked about in his book about Jim, how he used to be somewhere hundreds of miles away from where they lived and he would run into Jim at strange obscure places where you would never think he'd go in a million . He was such an unusual character. Even Ray seemed perplexed by him sometimes! So, was the eerie feeling I had, the ghost of Jim Morrison sitting next to me in the car listening to one of his old songs? I don't know, but it sure felt like it at the time, I'll tell you what! Oh, before I forget to mention, when I finally saw the Doors live, they were awesome. They were so good I couldn't believe it. And I can totally understand why they tried to carry on after Jim died. It must have be really hard to give all that up. But, they couldn't make the magic without him, or until they found a suitable replacement like Ian. Who was an icon in his own right, but chose to carry the mantle for the Doors for a while.
So, when I'm in the mood, I listen to my JIm Morrison audio book, and the albums with the added extras. It's still a strange trip, the music, the times and his life were so intertwined. So, I'm listening to Celebration of the Lizard. And I've since gotten over my aversion to his poetry stuff and have a genuine appreciation for it now! It's like a time capsule. Well anyway, I noted this earlier, and the fact that Manson just died is another weird coincidence. But when he talks about " there's been a slaughter in here ". Then right after that, he says some weird things, like he was there witnessing the murders Manson's family carried out. Now, I know you think I've been pulling my pudd too hard lately? I don't drink anymore or I would use that as a reference, you know. But, actually, I wasn't the only person in the world to notice this coincidence either. Jim was actually investigate at the time, right after the murders and they knew about Manson. Because he had such startling insight with his descriptions. Now, why he wasn't prosecuted, was because he said all of this stuff a year in advance of the event. But! He was having sex with some of the Manson family girls. They were all over the rock star scene and Charlie had insinuated himself into Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys, mansion! He also knew a lot of the other major rock stars in the valley at the time. So, if I had to speculate? I'd say these girls probably told Jim about their guru and the kinds of things he was saying. Jim probably picked up his vibe from them and prophesized what would eventually happen. It doesn't happen everyday, But, if you're sensitive artist like he was, and translating everything that was going on around him. He could have come up with that scenario. And he did! Weird man, that's freaking weird, I'll tell you what.
Finally, or last but not least. I was wandering around the record store. Yes, they still have a few. And I noticed a new product by the Who. They did a new version of Tommy. I have about a half a dozen versions by them already. But, me being a Who fan, I decided to check it out. So I bought the blue ray version and popped into the player! I actually liked it. I didn't think I would, but surprisingly I did! Then I took a nap and when I woke up I played it again but this time I played along. Turns out, Pete was using just a plain old Stratocaster this time. Or plain for him, it was still modified a bit, I noticed. But not only do I have the exact same guitar. My handy dandy state of the art amplifier actually has a Who or Pete Townshend guitar setting on that bitch and I could get the exact same tone he uses too! Modern technology is so wonderful sometimes! You'd only appreciate it if you had to slave the old school way of trying to get a similar tone, way back in the dark ages of music technology, and by that I'm talking like six months ago, of course! Anyway, I played along with the whole album and had the time of my life again! Something I will note. Now that Pete is much older, he plays some of the difficult parts much slower so it's easier for me to keep up with him. I was a little thankful for that aspect too. Now, I know what you're thinking, what does this have to do with the Doors and Jim? Are you going senile, is your mind wandering again, are you pulling your pudd? The answer is, no, no, maybe! In case you aren't' aware and I'd bet big bucks you're not, Jim Morrison IS Tommy! Yes really. Actually, the character is based on a combination of both Jim and Pete himself. Pete's talked about this quite a bit over the years. He said that he watched Jim from the side stage when they were touring together back in the day. He was amazed by the reaction Jim evoked from the crowds. He stated, " I don't get it, I didn't get it then, and I still don't " Part of the reason for that, is Jim was so similar to himself and his band. That's why he had trouble recognizing what was happening. But once again, Jim inspired another piece of art and history that will live on in a strange iconic form.
Now, about his poetry. I have to admit, I still can't relate or understand a lot of it. It's like so out there, it's very difficult. But, going by past history, this is how I see it will evolve. His poetry still gets no respect. Everyone still focuses on his music, how he looked, what he did, and what he said. Everyone else, it seems has the same problem I do trying to relate to his non musical poetry writing. I think it will get recognition and respect, but probably not for a very long time, maybe a couple of hundred years from now. Some how, there will be some sort of device, which will bring his words to life in way we still can't imagine. And it will act as a catalyst for a time capsule from the past. And he will go on in a new life and popularity in that form. See, I even foresaw an as yet unrealized future from some bizarre work of a mid twentieth century pop star who still influences artist and musicians to this day. Damn I'm smooth!


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Me and the Princess
Posted:Oct 9, 2017 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2018 2:19 pm
10029 Views

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She lives on Love Street
Lingers long on Love Street
She has a house and garden
I would like to see what happens

She has robes and she has monkeys
Lazy diamond studded flunkies
She has wisdom and knows what to do
She has me and she has you

She has wisdom and knows what to do
She has me and she has you

I see you live on Love Street
There's this store where the creatures meet
I wonder what they do in there
Summer Sunday and a year
I guess I like it fine, so far

She lives on Love Street
Lingers long on Love Street
She has a house and garden
I would like to see what happens

La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la



Yes, that's me and the Princess! She took the picture with a new polaroid camera she just got. That's why the image looks skewed. If anybody's been reading this, and you thought I was making everything about her and the situation up? Now you know I'm not. And yeah, I still do manage to get with girls much, much younger then myself! Something else. I related in previous posts how I've been watching the old episodes of the original TV series Kung Fu! Well, the other day when the princess and I were out bicycle riding. We got back to my car I had left in the parking lot of the park we were at. I decided to show her some self defense stuff I learned in my years as a martial artist. I haven't practiced or even tried to do any of this stuff in years. I had no one to work with on it even if I wanted to. I was surprised how much I remembered and how quickly it came back to me. The princess thought it was way cool, she's been bugging me for a while to show her some stuff. So I did. It was mainly practical stuff she could actually use, like getting out of holds and grabs. I even showed her how to throw somebody over your shoulder. It's not as hard as you think, you just have to use your hip and lift them over you. Then I was watching an episode of Kung Fu, and I realized that Cain, or his character was engaging his opponents in the same manner. Of course because he was doing the same thing I learned. And that is, the trick to this stuff, is not using brute strength against brute strength. It's using the other persons force against them. In other words. If someone is coming at you, you don't try to stop them, you just redirect their energy in another direction, preferably away from you. And for the times you actually do have to strike them in some manner. It's not like using a sledge hammer like force to knock them out. It's more like a surgical strike at a certain point that will have the same effect as a sledge hammer on them. Oh, you also need to know what part of your hand to use to be the most effective while striking them as well. I don't use a regular fist very often. Because of what I know, I don't need to. And that's what one of the main appeals of karate is to weaker . Over powering someone bigger then yourself. And for me, it was a lot like my guitar playing. I don't walk around thinking about every song I know and running it over in my mind. I never think about it at all, even if the song is playing somewhere. But when I do go to play it, it comes back to me, like muscle memory with the martial arts stuff. Those are just two of my super powers I possess. I know a bunch of other stuff too, I"ve picked up over the years.
As for the princess, well this is a weird situation. She wants to have me totally to herself, like were in a relationship, but she doesn't want to be in an official relationship with me, other then casual friends. But were not. This is only working for the moment, because I'm not involved with anyone else. I know I mentioned that other woman who is her age. She's not in the picture at the moment, but that could change. Or I could meet someone totally new tomorrow. I'm wondering how this will play out with the princess? Despite what she says now, I highly doubt she's going to just let some other woman waltz into my life and phase her out of the picture. Which is precisely what will happen! For some odd reason, she's not concerned about that contingency? Of course I know she'll go nuts when that happens but she's acting like it won't be a problem. It will.

Addendum

Well, I spoke to soon! The day after I posted this, the other woman popped back into my life! I gave her a ride, and spoke to her a little bit. She's really hot, or very attractive. The problem is, she's got way too much baggage! That always seems to be the case with women like this for some odd reason. You'd think, because she's so attractive, she could attract someone that could take care of her and help her with all of her problems. Instead the opposite is true! They end up with these total losers, I'm talking felons with a long arrest history, drugs, criminal activity, abusive, violent, oh yeah, and never even be close to being employed anywhere, ever! Hey, I'm just wondering something? I know I could just ask the princess because she's in the exact same situation. But, if you're an attractive woman, have like this woman does, and you have the same needs as any other woman in your situation does, what kind of life or future do you think you'll have with a guy like that? I understand if you want to just screw around with him for a while. Because you like the stigma of being some gang bangers Ho! But after you're not a or early twenties any longer don't you'd think it's time to find someone a little more responsible and dependable. Take the princesses asshole Alex for instance. He's 45 and still going in and out of jail for drugs like a , or since he's been a . I could be wrong, but by now, I highly doubt he's going to change! He's not going to finish school and straighten up and fly right the rest of his life. He'll keep doing the same thing until he dies, probably in prison. Or get killed in a drug deal gone bad. But yet, both of these girls think the felon of their dreams has the sun shining out of his asshole! And not only that, they're lives suffer greatly as a result of their association with these scumfucks! In the princesses case, she's suffered just as much as anyone else would have in the same situation, but the difference with her, is that she has her family and me to rely on to help her through the tough spots. I confronted her about it once, and she claimed it was her choices, not him, as the cause of her problems. And I told her, it's her association with him, is the reason you make those types of choices and end up in those predicaments! As for this other woman, apparently, she doesn't have a safety net like the princess does, and that's why her problems are much worse and complicated. She just mentioned a few of the things she has to deal with at the moment. None of it is good. I don't know how she got so messed up. But she's apparently in the middle of a custody battle with her ex, trying to get her two daughters back from him. She's living as an itinerant moving from place to place with her brother. I'm listening to her, and I realize she's not being realistic. I don't think any judge in the world would award her custody of her with the situation she's in. And if I were one of her , I wouldn't want to go either. You know when I was a , my Dad was an asshole and a scumfuck too. But at least he always had a job, didn't drink or do drugs and even when my parents split, I still always had a roof over my head. I can't imagine what it must be like to deal with a couple of idiots for parents and be homeless too, shuffling from place to place with all of your stuff. Man, that's really bad! In the princesses case, she doesn't have any , thank God! She just has an affinity for losers. Which is still just as bad. Well, that's what's up for now.

I just reread what I wrote, and that last line I said the princess has an affinity for losers. Which, might reflect badly on me. Except, um, she doesn't like me, or is interested in me as a boyfriend or anything. We're just acquaintances! So yeah, she definitely is only interested in losers. That's why she's not dating me, I suppose.

Anotherendum

The princess came over today. She needed new tires for her bicycle. I bought a set and put them one for her. She's very ecstatic! Then she was hungry so I suggested we go to the store and buy the ingredients for a batch of tacos. I prepared our feast in the kitchen while she stayed in the living room watching a movie on HBO. That is, when she wasn't trying to interject herself into the process and fuck up my kitchen! Incidentally, it was only because she stayed over that one time I even learned I had HBO on my cable box. I never watch TV and I only took the box because the cable company made me. I primarily use the computer for just about everything including watching TV and movies. I hate the fucking commercials and won't tolerate them! So, because she couldn't sleep I told her to turn on the TV. The next time I turned it on, like a month later, it was on HBO. I first thought she ordered it without my knowledge. It's real easy, you just have to press a button on the remote and it gives you the full set of programs. Of course your cable bill is like a thousand dollars next month! That's exactly why they do that, hoping some will press the button and send their parents into indentured servitude for the fucking cable bill for the rest of their lives. But, I hadn't noticed a difference in the bill. So I called the cable company and asked " What up "? They replied " it comes free with the package ". I said " that's a fucking relief "! Oh, so I finally finished making the tacos and the princess loved them. I know I'm and excellent cook! So, while I was working on her bike I reminisced about the time my asshole father actually bought me my first bike! It was such and unusual event and so out of character for him, I still can't believe that actually happened. I was getting older, about eight or nine. And all my friends had these cool bikes. The kind with the banana seats, sissy bars, and the gears allowed you to coast when you weren't pedaling and you could lock up the back tire to stop by pedaling backward! At the time, that was the coolest fucking thing in the world, and all my friends had one, except me. Well, true to form, my dad got some old piece of shit out of the trash somewhere, shined it up and gave it to me. It didn't have any of the features I mentioned and it was too small and I think it was a girls bike! Of course I complained and told him I needed a real one, like my friends had. Up until then, when ever I wanted to go somewhere with them, I had to run along side of them. Not cool, not cool at all! Well, I remember really pressing him. Which was something else I didn't normally do, because he used to just beat the shit out of me if I bugged him too much about something, or even if I didn't! But then he said one day, " okay, we'll go to the store on Friday and get you one "! Of course I wouldn't believe it until I see it. But that Friday, true to his word, he took me to a store and let me pick out a brand new bicycle! And little did I know that dynamic would play out for the rest of my life. I go from being way behind everyone else, to suddenly way ahead! I'm never in sync with everyone else. It's always been that way with me. So, anyway, to illustrate how unusual this event was. My Dad, never bought me anything, ever! Unless is was my birthday or Christmas! I know today, get everything they want, every day of the fucking year. But, I never got shit. I had stuff, but even then, I noticed my friends usually had more, and better stuff then I did too. So the fact that he took me to a store to buy a brand new bike no less was really an amazing feat at the time. And it wasn't cheap either. I remember it cost around fifty dollars. That would be about five hundred and fifty in todays dollars. That's a lot of fucking money! It was then, and it still is now! I remember running up and down the isle of the row of bikes they had on display there trying to decide. I was trying to make up my mind quickly, before the spell my Dad was under wore off and he realized he was actually about to part with " money " for something. I knew my Dad, trust me, I had to work quick! I finally decided on a red white and blue model. It was a red body, with white fenders with a blue racing stripes on the fenders and seat! It also had a hand brake for the front tire. Not very common at the time. It also looked cool as fuck! It was nicer then anything any of my friends had. I finally had one up on them with something. So it came in a box, with some assembly required. That's okay, because the one thing my Dad loved to do more then anything else was tinker around putting things together. He was just that way. On the way home I was riding in the back of our station wagon with the back seat folded down to accommodate the fucking thing. The back window was down too! As we were coming into our area of the neighborhood we lived in. I saw Roger, my best friend, riding around with his friends. I yelled out " Hey Rog, I just got a new bike "! he started pedaling like crazy towards my house. When we got there, we continued the ceremony on the back yard patio of taking my new bike out of the box and putting it together. All the in the neighborhood came out to witness this auspicious occasion! I can honestly tell you that was the best memory or event in my entire childhood. After it was assembled. I rode it around a little of course. It was late so I had to go to bed. I put it in my room next to my bed! I can still remember the new bike smell it gave off. The next morning, I woke the fuck up, early, I didn't care about eating breakfast of watching cartoons. I got dressed and took my new bike out! I remember how happy I was, it was cool as shit and so much fucking fun, I still can't believe I got that lucky! I remember I had a lot of cool adventures with it and rode around with my buddies like we were a mini motorcycle bike gang. Of course they all had to take turns riding it! And I experienced massive amounts of jealousy from my older sister! She tried to steal it at one point. That was typical of her, and her behavior and believe it or not, she's still like that today! Unfortunately, this story doesn't have a happy ending! At the end of the summer, my parents broke up! I moved with my Mother somewhere else far away. I couldn't take the bike with me! There was no room for it where we were moving. I remember finally being able to bring it up to where we lived eventually but for some reason, I had to put it in storage back home at my cousins place. They were keeping a lot of the stuff from our old home in their garage. I later found out, my cousin, who was a boy a few years younger then me, stole my bike out of storage there and took it for his own. Without paying me or even asking! It broke my heart, but there were so many other things I was dealing with at the time, my rad bike I was losing was at the bottom of my list! It was an incredibly fucked up time. And if true to form, by my father giving me that bike when he did, and then pulling my entire life out from under me and throwing my whole life into utter chaos and terror. He actually was making a bad situation worse for me. If he had never got me the bike, I just would have done without, like I did with just about everything else at the time. Instead, he gave me the coolest thing I ever owned, and then by his actions took that and everything else away from me! Really cruel! But, that was my life, so I was kind of used to it.
Now today, my sister, the one who tried to steal my bike out of jealousy, is trying to get me to reconnect with my father again. He's probably about ninety now. I don't know how that old bastard stayed alive so long, and not have gone to prison! LOL! I told, her, quote: "No God damn fucking, God damn fucking way"! I also reminded her, that unlike her selective memory, I remember everything he did and said during that period. She argues, that I'm misinformed and others tried to sway my opinion by giving false testimony about my Fathers actions. I replied, " even if that were true, which it most certainly is not, I have enough first hand evidence I witnessed personally and remember quite vividly. So, even if he was an angel to the rest of the world. He was a fucking asshole to me, most of the time, or except for the time he bought me the bike which turned out to be just another painful memory of loss in the end anyway. So, fuck that fucking asshole.
Oh, well, that's a story from my happy childhood, you can see why I don't venture down memory lane very often.


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Beginnings
Posted:Sep 4, 2017 4:12 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2017 6:14 pm
14491 Views

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When I'm with you
It doesn't matter where we are
Or what we're doing
I'm with you, that's all that matters

Time passes much too quickly
When we're together laughing
I wish I could sing it to you, whoa oh
I wish I could sing it to you

Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Mostly I'm silent, hmm
Silent



Okay, well, the princess and I are done, finally! She called me up one more time and I told her not to call me anymore and that we were done. I used those exact words! I haven't heard from her since. That doesn't mean she won't try to contact me or bring me back into the fold at some point in the future. But, I'm certain were finished after I finally had a moment of clarity! Anyone reading this, and anyone who's aware of the situation in my real life, could see it for what it was. She was just using me, and had no interest in me beyond what I could do for her at the moment. Yeah, I know, and I always knew that too of course. But, what kept me hanging around her was the fact that she was so attractive and had an interesting personality, or she wasn't boring. She was very smart in some ways, but also very stupid in others. I always thought that was so adorable when she would say dumb things, with such sincerity. And I tried like hell to stifle a laugh! But why I stayed with her so long mainly, was, I naively believed there was some sort of hope. That she might change, see the light, mature, or recognize me as someone she can't replace in her life. It was all for naught. Here is something I will admit to. Despite her being all over the map with things. She did stay consistent with her ideas and feelings about me. She never wavered! It was actually me, who was being dumb and naïve about her and the situation. Believing there could be something more to it. When we were in the park that day, all she was doing was reiterating her position, or the one she held all along. It was me, who finally recognized what she was saying and what she meant. I thought I could change her mind by dazzling her with all the cool stuff I can do for her. And yeah, she was impressed, but it still didn't change her mind about anything. So, later that same day, when we were on our way to somewhere else, I started thinking about what she said, and I put it together with everything else she had been telling me, all along, and I finally had an epiphany! She thought I understood the situation, and was all right with it. I didn't and wasn't cool with it by any means. When I finally realized it, I realized it was over. There is no point putting my time and energy into something that is never going to evolve into what I wanted. So, I looked over at her, and said, " Hey, can I take you home now "? She agreed. When I dropped her off, she tried to invite me in, and hug me, I refused both invitations. She was successful in getting me to do her one more favor, but I've refused to associate with her after that. Oh, don't worry, she's not going to let me get away that easy. I'm sure her scheming little blonde mind has a few more tricks up her sleeve? But, she has another problem to contend with presently, that has nothing to do with her or I. That will give me some breathing space, and also, she will realize I'm serious about separating myself from her. Hopefully, she'll move on and find some other fool to accommodate her and her asshole and she'll forget about me. But, for now, when ever she tries to get close to me I just rebuff her. And all I have to do, to strengthen my resolve is remember what she said and how she had been treating me this whole time. The situation wasn't completely her fault, I knew better but still played along on the false hope that things would change. After a year of this bullshit, not only didn't things improve they've gotten worse, and that's with all the massive assistance I've given her. I can only imagine what it would have been like had I not been there.
Okay, I've been on a nostalgia kick lately. I've been watching episodes of the original TV show Kung Fu. I loved that show! It was one of the few great shows on television. It's so good I can't believe they actually got it on the air. The premise is interesting and it's been repeated a million times since. But it was very ingenious originally. Take an element with wisdom and strength far beyond the surroundings it inhabited and let it walk through a world of ignorance and violence and teach them all a lesson. They do the same thing in other forms with plots using an alien or someone from the future in dumb movies today. But, it was almost like that because the training of the shaolin monks were taught universal truths. Things that are as relevant today as they were then and will always be. But most people still don't know them or care to learn. Also, there was another band I loved during that era Chicago! During that same period! I never mentioned or even thought about them but I've realized they were probably more influential to me for wanting to become a musician than any other band. I just read their biography and it just confirmed what I already knew. I watched some of their videos on you tube and then even more memories came streaming back. When I say Chicago, what I'm really saying is the most significant and prominent member to their success Terry Kath. He was the lead guitarist and one of the singers and the band would have been nothing without him. I'll try to tell you my experience with the band. I never really knew anything about them, up until recently. I just looked up the videos and read their biography, like yesterday. Before that, I probably knew what everyone else generally knew about them. But, I did love the songs. And when I say the songs, I mean the ones that were written during the Terry era of the band. The same ones that you and everyone else thinks about when ever you think about them. Here is my assessment of the band. It was actually three bands cobbled together into one. There was the blues rock band which was driven by Terry, the jazz swing band headed by Robert Lamm and the commercial pop band led by Peter Cetera. But it was Terry and his influence that made them great and successful. In all the great bands from that era, the late sixties to the seventies. There was always one member that was the heart and soul of the band and the creative spark, that would make them go from just good to great and spectacular! In that band it was Terry. I loved his guitar work on all of those songs. I used to focus on that more then anything else when I used to listen to them back then. I didn't know, how great a player Terry was, or that Hendrix acknowledged that he was even better then him. I just found that out a day ago! When he died, like Jim Morrison of the Doors, and Keith Moon of the Who, the band died with him. Of course the surviving members soldiered on, trying to keep it together. But, they all were just living on past glory. When the key member like that goes, with the fire and energy responsible for their success, he takes that element with him, unfortunately.
Now, unbelievably, these two things from my childhood are still relevant to me to this very day. I was upset about this situation with the princess, naturally and I've been fuming about it a lot, of course. Then while I was watching an episode of Kung Fu, one of Caines master tells him, "you should relieve yourself of things that no longer serve you, but instead, force you to serve them ". If that doesn't describe my situation with that green eyed little witch, nothing does! And I was watching the Chicago videos with Terry and they did a TV show once, and Terry was actually the MC. It was a new years eve special with the Doobie Brothers and Beach Boys and Olivia Newton John. You know how you see things at one point in your life and then you see them later and they look totally different because you've grown and attained greater insight? Well that was the case with this show. Oh, Olivia was such a fucking slut and ! Terry even made a joke about it, taunting her with what " an eligible bachelor he was "! See that's what I mean by being ultra cool. He recognized the situation at the time, and it would take the rest of the world years to catch up to him later. We're still trying to catch up to those dudes. As a guitarist, Terry was incredible. He was the Eddie Van Halen of his day, and Eddie was just learning to play at that time so he was probably influenced by Terry whether he ever acknowledged it or not. Terry was a speed demon but he was good too. He could have played at half the speed and still been incredible! The solo from 25 or 6 to 4 is still a bench mark all players must pass if you want to consider yourself good. Also, with these two things, the show Kung Fu and Chicago with Terry Kath, I realized something that's unique to only me. I'm both of them. I'm the character David Carradine played and the musician that Terry Kath was. I recognized it while watching them. In the show, when he's doing the martial arts stuff, I recognize the moves and know exactly what he's doing, because I used to do the same things. Most people, who've never had training just look at it, and think, " oh, that's cool ". But I could actually teach you that stuff! Same thing when I was watching Terry fronting the band Chicago. While I was watching him I thought, " oh, that's me, I used to do that too ". And again, I can actually teach you that stuff! And that's just two things I'm good at. I have a whole list of other things I can do, or have done that alone, people would envy me for being cool as shit with. And that's not even including the music or the martial arts. So, when I look at things in that perspective, it makes me realize things about myself. Also, at the time, I loved those things, but never dreamed I would ever be able to do the those things myself. Like fight like David Carradine or play the guitar like Terry Kath................but now I can! Just shows you, doesn't it?

Addendum

Yeah, the princess managed to snag me back for a moment. I figured she would use a ploy like the one she did. Which was, ask me to help her with something she knows I'll agree to, and then do her bait and switch back to the same ole, same ole!
But, fortunately, as I mentioned previously, she has a whole other situation to contend with and that has given me some breathing room, for a while anyway. Well anyway, I wanted to elaborate more on the subject matter of this post, the show Kung Fu, and Terry Kath of Chicago. First of all, you may be shocked to learn, I haven't actually seen every episode of the show! Why? You might ask, even after all this time, and it being you're number one favorite show of all time, how could this even be possible? I'll tell you how, because of my fucking asshole father. The biggest dick (literally) in the whole fucking world, next to chump of course. I know, I know, what you're thinking." Hey, everybody had to deal with fucked up shit while growing up (except chump of course) quit blaming your own failures on your parents and grow the fuck up already "! Yeah, I'm aware of that argument and point of view, and my position is still because of my fucking asshole of a father! While that show was on, my cheap ass mother fucker of a Dad, kept playing games with us because my Mother did one of the best things in her life and divorced that piece of shit. Of course he wouldn't accept it, and tried to make our lives as miserable as possible. Not that they were all that great to begin with mainly because of him. At the time, as I mentioned in a previous post, T.V's were still a very expensive and coveted commodity! Today, no one can even imagine one without color or a remote control. In those days, if you had a TV with either of those features, Whooweee! Your shit definitely did not stink, because you also had a servant spraying it with air freshener as it was leaving your asshole! And my father being the cheapest man in the world, I can probably verify that, but that's for another long ass post. Only owned one portable black and white, with no color and you had to physically stand up, walk across the room to change the channel of which you only had about seven to choose from, four on the top channels and three on bottom the uhf channels. If you don't understand what I'm referring to by top and bottom channels, consider yourself very lucky, indeed. So, sometimes when he visited us, if he was in a good mood, he's bring the TV with him and let us watch it. When he was acting like a prick, which was pretty much all of the time, he'd take it home with him and we had nothing to watch. And I don't mean I had to watch shit on our phones instead! That concept wasn't even conceived of in those days. Phones were for talking to someone, nothing else, no pictures, no videos, no face book, no you tube, no games, nothing! And there was no where to go to find a TV to watch except for the places you can probably guess at. At a friends house, standing in front of a store window that sells TV's. But I actually did find a place with a color TV to watch no less. My Mother was in college, while divorcing the asshole. So they had recreation rooms in the basements with TV's in them for the students. I found one and tried to sit in there to watch some TV once. No, the students didn't use them, they were in their dorms doing drugs and having gay sex, when they weren't protesting something. Pretty much what they do now, eh?! So, I was in there for a few days until some old Nazi maintence fuck decided to chase me out. I got my Mother to study in there so I could watch TV. The old fuck didn't like it, but there was nothing his old fuck Nazi ass could do about it. I did have a few small victories in those days. Anyway, so I could only watch a few episodes sporadically for the entire run of the series. And it was my favorite show at the time. Years later, when it was in reruns, I saw a lot of the episodes I missed, but they didn't show all of them for some reason. So now I'm catching up. Oh, in case you're wondering why we didn't just buy another TV for ourselves? With what? We had no money, and what little we ever did have went to rent and food, mostly rent, I don't remember a lot of food during that period either. So that wasn't happening, also televisions were still extremely expensive comparatively. But, a few years later, while I was still a , I got a job and was able to finally purchase my very own color TV, and no it didn't have a remote, I still had to change the channels manually. Hey, I was grateful for that, if I would have owned one with a remote too, I think I would have felt too spoiled, like I didn't deserve to have that kind of luxury or something. With my own color TV in my own room, I felt as happy as a pig in shit! Word! Then I bought all the other shit I wanted like a stereo, records, clothes, cars, electric guitar!
Which brings me to my other topic, Terry Kath the guitarist in Chicago! I used to always love it when a Chicago song came on the radio. I didn't know why at the time but now I realize it was mainly because of him. He was a Viking, but with the same ability of Mozart! And like a Viking, he died of a weapon, at the hands of a Viking, himself! As for his playing, here is my professional assessment. He didn't just play the guitar parts for those songs. He used the guitar like a tool, to effect emotions in the music. The examples are all over the place. If you listen to the songs, all of a sudden there will be a sound, coming out of no where that will jolt you into a specific state of mind by creating a mood with his playing. He had that ability. Most musicians would love to have that talent, but only a few do. So, I'm working on the song 25 or 6 to 4. And I've gained even more insight about his playing. There's good news and bad news here. The good news is, he used a very basic pentatonic scale for that solo. None of that ionian, or mixolydian, or whatthefuckian fancy scale shit! Just the straight shit. The bad news, is, even with that, you probably still can't play it, because of his attack or style of playing he used. He was running up and down the fret board at lightening speed. It doesn't sound right unless you can play it at that velocity! And most players can't, so that's why you don't hear a lot of bands covering that song. But I'm working on it anyway, I'm no slouch and at the very least it's a fantastic exercise both mentally and physically. And when I finally present it in a video, all you mofo's will go, "Holy shit, you're good "!!! See, I do and do for you , and this is the thanks I get!

Addendum

Okay just a quick stopping in to say a few words. I know somebody is reading this shit! I could hazard a guess, like either Jay or Erica? Erica because she's always secretly had a crush on me. Or Jay because he's gay! Anyhoo, I have a conundrum I've been trying to over come. It's the Chicago song 25 or 6 to 4. That song is a motherfucker, as you might be aware if you've ever even attempted to play it. I remembered something from my beginning days with the guitar, when I still just had that piece of shit Tesco Del Ray. I actually did figure out the opening riff for the song back then. It's not hard, you just had to go AAAA, GGGG, F#F#F#F#, FF,EE on the top string or low E if you want to get technical about it. So now, that I'm this big accomplished musician, I should at least be able to play the rest of the bitch! But, like I said it's hard. So, I had to figure out a few things, like how to actually pull this off! And, as usual, I came up with something! I always do. That's why I said, I liken playing music to performing a magic trick! Yes, this will be a trick, and I will pull it off. No, I'm not going to put the record on and pretend to play along with it! I might perform it with no backing track at all, just to show you. Or more likely, the song on in the back ground very low so I know where I am in the song. Either way you'll know it's me playing every note. I will still play it, but I will be doing something unusual to pull it off. I can't say what it is, because then I'm giving up all my professional secrets. But, it should work! See, I do and do for you , and this is the thanks I get!

Addendum

Well here's the latest in case anyone is following this soap opera! Things have been happening so fast and changing in ways I never would have expected! First of all the princess. She is a heroin addict and had no hope of quitting through conventional means. She finally chose to take the suboxone shot to cure her of the cravings. So far it seems to have worked. I went to visit her yesterday and she's looking and acting better then have ever seen her before. But then then she really shocked me with what she said. I asked her " if she wanted coffee or cigarettes "? She replied " No "! She said she's too amped up and has plenty of ciggs left over. Which for me was a total shock! I have never known her to turn down those two items before. Then she said her boyfriend, the spic drug dealer loser, is going to jail tomorrow! I asked her for how long? She said she didn't know. Then she told me how he tried to get her hooked again by offering her some shit. She said if she took anything now, since she's had the shot she would OD! So she can't take anything even if she wanted to. But the fact that piece of shit knew that and still tried to tempt her, just proves what I've been saying all along. And yeah the fact that he beat her up and she said she broke up with him. Then she showed me a pair of earrings he gave her. He also gave her money for cigarettes to, that's why she didn't need anything from me. So, I'm standing there bewildered! On the one hand she's straightened herself out and seems to be realizing the reality of her situation. On the other hand, this piece of shit realizes if that happens he'll lose his grip and he's trying desperately to hold on to her, even if tempting her with drugs would kill her. But just so you know, I don't think he means to harm her, it's just that he's so stupid and pathetic, he only knows of one way to keep a hold of her, and that's why he's trying to use that tactic. I know it sounds insane. But I've been around these kinds of stupid assholes my whole life, and that's how they think. Unfortunately.
Well, as if that weren't enough. Another woman has appeared on the scene. She's exactly like the princess, but without the drug problem thank God. She's even around the same age. The big difference is, she's everything the princess was not. She actually is interested in me for a relationship and who knows what else. I originally thought that was the case with the princess, but I didn't know she had this flaw in her personality that draws to these drug dealing scum bag spics. Hey everybody's different. The princess actually told me I should go find another woman and encouraged me several times. She doesn't realize that now I actually found one, and she won't be able to monopolize my time like she has in the past. I thought she would have realized that basic fact but for some reason she doesn't. Her thinking is, and I know because I questioned her on it, is that I should go get involved with someone else for a relationship, and then just hang with her as friends. Which sounds reasonable and I might even be open to that. But, this new girl, who's just like her in every respect isn't going to allow that. Nor would any other woman on the planet! What am I going to say to her. " Honey, I'm going to hang out with my hot blonde friend now, but don't worry, we won't be having sex because she just wants to be friends ". And that is actually true, but I still don't think this other girl is going to go for it. And I have my project I'm working on, and that's taking up more time.
Now to get metaphysical for a moment. I'm seeing something happening here. In my everyday life. I'm working on this project and it will probably bring me great benefits. I haven't enacted it yet. But, I've noticed women are starting to make overtures toward me for sex or relationship or something of that nature. You might wonder, " doesn't that happen all the time regardless "? No, not really. I do know this, women have a sort of radar, and can pick up on things about men. I don't know what it is, or what it's called I just know it exists. I think it goes back to the cave man days and women had to develop it for survival. I'm sure there were a lot of women even back then, that wanted to date a spic piece of shit like the princess boyfriend. But survival dictated that they find someone more reliable, so they attached themselves to a guy that could provide for them. In the princesses case, she is dating that scumbag, but she also keeps me in the picture. So, she's managed to have it both ways for a while. But, unfortunately, things are changing and evolving, so that won't be the case any longer. I will be as interested as anyone else to see what happens next. I have a general idea, but I've been totally surprised by recent events so anything is possible at this point. We'll see I guess?

Addendum

Well here is the latest in the saga of the princess and the pea! First of all, she's doing fantastic with her recovery and is still clean or drug free as of this writing. She goes to meetings several times a week or day and so far it appears they have been working. As for her spic drug dealer piece of shit boyfriend. Last I mentioned him, he was wanted by the authorities. Well, he was on the run and made it as far as Virginia. He was on his way to Florida, hurricanes be damned, to go stay with his father I understand. His Pop told him to turn around and go back and face the music. So, as far as I know, he's lurking around town, probably staying with friends trying to avoid capture. The princess says she's seen him a few times, something to do with getting her phone activated. She said he's still using and was trying to get her hooked again. Oh, before I forget, he's been throwing all kinds of money and stories of even greater gifts at her lately. He said he would buy her a car now. Where is he getting all this money from? Dealing drugs, duh! You have to ask! Anyway, she was over here at my crib today! That phone of hers is and IPhone 7. It has the Siri assistant bitch on it. All she has to do is give her commands and she does all the work for her. For the princess it's actually a perfect fit. A spoiled princess that has a slave following her commands. Speaking of which. We spent a very nice afternoon together riding bicycles. I've been wanting to do this since we met. But we couldn't because she was always so fucked up with shit. And I learned a few things about her personality, now that she's behaving normally. She's not just hanging around me to make me feel good or be my " friend "! She's very business savvy and knows exactly what she's doing, in regards to me and my ambitions. This project I'm working on, she wants a piece of it. It's almost like I'm dating Erica with how drilled down she is about the business aspect of it. I'm more laze fair or casual about things, she's as focused as the Terminator on a mission! LOL! Her Mom does some sort of legal work, so I'm sure that's partly where is comes from. Although you probably wouldn't guess it by how stupid and silly she acts about most other things. Another thing, I keep trying to forget this aspect of her personality, but she's still a Leo. We were standing outside of a grocery store and a woman walked by with two lovely little girls. She told her she had lovely , and then as soon as she was out of ear range she said something very mean and ugly! I'm not going to repeat it, because it's in my mind now for all time. I'm not going to share it and let her evil words proliferate through out the rest of the world! That asshole friend I once knew, was a Leo too, and he used to say and do the exact same shit, but with him it was more frequent and much worse. When I finally broke away from that scourge to humanity, I realized how bad it really was. I had forgotten most of it, but today, when she made that comment, it brought back all those negative memories again. It must be something to do with the Leo aspect of their personalities that make them behave that way. Well, just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, I realized they're still sharks swimming around in there. So, even though we're friends, I'm still wary of her. And no, I don't think I'll ever get involved with her romantically. It really wouldn't work. We fight a lot now. It would only be worse and we're really not compatible as a couple. We can barely stay as friends. I'm only still associating with her because she got off the drugs. If she hadn't done that I wouldn't be speaking to her now. And I'm sure she realizes that as well. Like I said, she's savvy. She's supposed to be helping me with this project but so far she's only been angling to get her name on the corner stone block of the foundation. LOL! After all, why do all that work, when you can let someone else build it for you, and then after it's finished, just come in and claim it, or your share or it anyway. LOL! See what I have to contend with here?


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0 Comments
The Who Kilburn
Posted:Aug 7, 2017 4:19 pm
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2017 11:58 am
14734 Views

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I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round
I look at my face in the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing without you
And like one and one don't make two
One and one make one
And I'm looking for that free ride to me
I'm looking for you

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had



I could have just added this to the last post, but because it's rather long, I thought I would start a completely new one! Anyway, first about the princess and I. She reconnected with me after about a week or so, just like I figured. But she's in much worse shape then I anticipated. I can't give you all the details, because it would reveal too much, or more then I would like to about the situation. But you should be able to read between the lines and figure it out yourself. She comes to me, and she's wearing like a tank top and real tiny shorts. I guess she thought if she revealed some skin to me it would melt my resolve, it didn't. Then she proceeds to tell me how fucked up her present situation is. I saw her bike on her boyfriends porch the last few days, so I thought she was staying with him again. No, actually she has it chained there and she lost the key. I hadn't had any calls or texts from her either, so I assumed she was just still mad at me for calling her boyfriend a low life spic (which he is). No, one of her friends changed the pass code on her phone, so now she's locked out of it. Silly me, assuming the obvious and it turns out to be even more bizarre and fuck up then I could even imagine. Then basically she wanted to go back to business as usual, which entails me running her around buying her stuff and then dropping her off at her boyfriends place at the end of the day. Yeah, I know, when I think about this situation I can't believe it myself how stupid I was!
In my defense, she is very pretty and can be charming when she wants to. Like I said, she superseded my logic and played on my emotions or horniness. But I'm not having it this time and there are other factors at play that I can't discuss here. So what happened was I finally got fed up and threw her out of the car and drove off. She tried to call me (using a borrowed phone she found someone to lend her on the street. She can get anyone to give her anything if she wants to! Yeah, I know, you don't have to say it! for a ride home. I hung up on her. The next day she called me again, from home, and tried to patch things up with me. She doesn't realize there's no fixing things if she continues this present behavior. She wants to just keep things like they were, because they benefit her, and totally degrade and disenfranchise me! Sounds like a good plan, huh? But like I said, I'm not playing along anymore. She'll continue to follow her fucked up path and get into even more jams. But I won't be helping her out of them any longer. One of the things I told her in our last conversation was, " I knew you wouldn't do very well without me around, but I didn't think you would totally fall apart ". And that's the crux of it right there. She can't really function well without me in her life. She can of course still function on her own, but she surrounds herself with fucktards that cause her all kinds of problems and totally fuck up her life. I guess she's used to doing things this way for so long it must feel normal to her. Although, I know there is a part of her that wants to live a normal life like mine too. But, she has to make a decision at some point of what she wants. Presently, she's making bad choices. I've known her about a year now. She knows me and what I'm about, she can make up her own mind. If wants to continue to go down a hole with that asshole, that's on her, I'm done!

Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I want to tell you about something interesting that happened involving one of my favorite bands "The Who ". First I have to go back a couple weeks to when the princess came over and I played my guitar for her live, for the first and probably last time?! LOL! There's a lot more to that event then I told originally. First of all, I knew she was coming over and I was going to play for her, but then something strange happened. I got into a real retro mood from my high school years. I don't know what caused this, but if I had to analyze it, I'd say that there is something about the princess that reminds me of the girls I knew back in high school at the time. Now, I've played my guitar for untold numbers of girls over the years, including Erica. So, I'm not sure why this mood for being fifteen again hit me all of a sudden? But it did! I have shelf stack with all of my old music magazines in them. I don't have all of them any more, of course. But enough of them survived over the years and are still there. I think that's why I used my original guitar to perform for her as well, the one I bought online because it was similar to my first guitar I had in high school, the Tesco Del Ray. So, first I had to dig my way to the shelf stack. I know the princess bitches at me to clean up around my place all the time! Hey, I'm a bachelor first, so I don't have to clean anything up. And secondly, I like things they way they are, because I know where to find them! Once there I pulled out some of my old Creem magazines. I don't know if there still in business, I think I saw one on the stand not long ago. First of all, I have to explain some things. This was in the era before computers, cell phone or even MTV, if you even know what that is? The only way to find out anything about anything going on, especially your favorite band, was through a magazine. So, I used to purchase them pretty regularly when I was a with my allowance and then later when I had a job at that restaurant, I bought what ever the fuck I wanted, kind of like now. But anyway, then I got out a stack of my old 45's too. Now, believe it or not, she didn't know what that was, and had never seen one before when I showed it to her! I was going to get out some of my old clothes out of mothballs too, but I have that buried away some where and none of it would fit me anyway, so I didn't do that. So, later when she was over, I put her in a chair in my music room and serenaded her with that Doors song, you're a lost little girl. Which was completely appropriate considering her and her situation. Oh, by the way, usually I have to coolest credentials in regards to people I know, but she actually has one up on me. She visited Jim Morrison's grave in Paris once when she was on vacation with her Aunt and Uncle when she was like thirteen. Yeah, I'm jealous! I played her some of the 45's and showed her some of the magazines too. We talked about things from that era for a while, and then we went outside and did some yard work, until the pizza she ordered from Pizza Hut got there. And yes, I paid for it, duh! So, here is my assessment for why I went retro like that. This was something I always wanted to do, back then! Play my guitar and sing for a girl in my home. I've done it countless times, when I got older and became this big Rock God, but it wasn't the same as what it would have been like then. For some reason, I think because of her young age, she reminds me of what it was like when I was there back then. That's probably why I hung around with her and put up with her shit as long as I did. But now of course, I realize the past is a nice place to visit once in a while, but you can't live there. It's just not feasible! I couldn't to that then, because at the time, I couldn't play or even have the time to learn because I was working and going to school full time. There just weren't enough hours in the day, unfortunately. But, oddly enough, once in a while I did have a free day. So I would take out my meager but to me at the time very significant music gear which consisted of my main axe, the glittery gold Tesco Del Ray, right handed but strung left for me. And I did an awful job altering the nut so the thicker strings would fit. A couple of horrendously bad acoustic guitars that sounded like shit and didn't have all the strings. My assortment of cables and things I pieced together to make an amp. I used to plug directly into the hifi in the living room, until I got my very own stereo in my bedroom, then I played through that using a Y jack on the Aux or Auxiliary channel. By the way, I still have that stereo too. It's sitting right behind me here. I just got up to look at what channel I used to use. No, it doesn't work anymore, of course. The only thing it still does is work as a sound tuner for my old cathode ray tube tv I still use to watch my old VHS tapes on. And by the way, the princess also didn't know what TV with a cathode ray tube was. She's only ever known flat screens. Then I was ready to Rock Out! I did know a few things, very few. Like I knew how to do that Chuck Berry bar chord thing and use your pinky to hit the other note or string two frets behind the chord to make that rock and roll sound. That chord is actually still used today on an infinite number of songs by the way. And I used to over drive that little microphone amp I showed you in my first guitar video. When I hooked it up on the more powerful channels, it would distort the speakers and create these cool distortion sounds! I thought I sounded like Hendrix! Which, incidentally, years later I discovered, I actually did. LOL! Now the time has come, there are things to realize! (that's a line from the chamber brothers song I like to reference from time to time. People who know me have heard it a million times, word ) So when I look at things in retrospect. Could I have done that, learned to play well enough to serenade one of my girl friends at the time. The answer is yes and no. I could have probably found someone to give me lessons. My girl friend at the time, Cindy, bought an acoustic guitar and found and instructor to give her lessons. That was our plan, to learn to play and form a band. A scenario that would be repeated countless times over the years with other people I had encountered. But, I probably would have only known basic chords and could only play those lame beginner songs they have in the book. No one wants to hear that shit! I wanted to play the songs on the radio or my favorite bands, like the Who! So, I would have been just as frustrated as not knowing anything at all. Could I have found a song book with more contemporary songs to play? Yeah, I had one! I don't know when or where I got it, but I actually had a Who song book. I still have it and use it from time to time. But I still couldn't play anything because it's written in old school music form. There are chords, or the basic chords I could have learned, but I didn't understand song or music structure. I tried playing the chords, but could never get them right. I either used the wrong fingers and I remember it was very painful trying to play even the most simplest chords. Also, I didn't know how to tune it, so it would never have sounded right. There were no electric tuners, just pitch pipes, I had one, it didn't work. Also, I couldn't switch chords. It would take me forever just to find the fingering for one chord, let alone switch to another one like you were supposed to while playing a song. Also, the songs were too fucking fast, I couldn't keep up! As if that wasn't bad enough, the songs that Pete Townshend wrote, didn't follow normal song structures. So, his timing and the way the chords were played was off as well. So, it was like, this was so hard, and his style of song writing made it even harder. I was in a no win situation. That's why, later when I was watching that Van Halen video "hot for teacher and that thought came into my mind about playing like Eddie someday, so freaked me out! Now, all of this stuff is basic beginners things that every has to over come when he's learning. If I would have found a decent instructor, he could have showed me how to over come all of this, and I eventually did. And yeah he was very instrumental in helping me learning to play. But, unfortunately, I was surrounded by fucking loser assholes who actually did their damnedest to discourage me from ever even attempting to learn to play the guitar! It's weird, now that I look back at it. It wasn't just one person I knew, it was a series of people over the years. I have of course now figured out why, but I didn't understand it at the time. Playing the guitar well, is fucking cool! It's cooler then being rich or a professional fighter, riding a motorcycle or mountain bike or traveling to world. I know because I'm all of those things too, and playing the guitar is still the coolest! These jealous losers knew what it would take to accomplish something of that magnitude, they didn't have it in them to ever even try. But, they must have sensed that I did, and they tried to hold me back as well. I guess they thought, " oh I'll never be shit, so I'll prevent as many people as possible from ever becoming anything too "! I know it sounds strange, but that's actually a very common behavior for human beings. Oh, after I learned to play real well, did I shove it in the faces of these assholes and make them pay for their transgressions against me? Yeah, a few, and yeah it felt nice making them eat shit! See, sometimes things work out exactly like you think they would?

But anyway, all of this it a prelude to what I really wanted to tell you here. I had to give you some background so you would understand it. So, I think it was a week later, I got into a jamming mood. I decided I wanted to play some Who songs. I get into different moods for different bands and I now have equipment that matches exactly what they used! But, just like when I had this retro mood for my high school years something strange happened again! I thought I was just going to do what I usually do, play along to the record, or one with just the backing track without the guitar part, or just play it myself, maybe use a drum machine track? But something bizarre happened and I was able to relive a fantasy of mine from high school and that would be fucking Farrah Fawcett, uh no, I mean the other one, jamming with the Who, live! Now, I know what your thinking, that's impossible! I thought so too, until I did it. And I fell into it totally by accident, as usual. Now, I've been writing about this equipment I've been acquiring lately. I bought a cool amp with all kinds of presets for various classic tones. I bought another Les Paul with the signal splitter phasing switch that's really cool! I also had to get a new blu ray player because the princess was over watching movies once and I broke my old one trying to get the DVD out of the fucking thing. I didn't really give all of this much thought but I was laying the foundation for the perfect storm to time travel back to my high school years again and live out a life long dream, one I thought I had long forgotten or given up on. Now, there is something else I need to tell you, I don't believe I've ever mentioned in any of my posts ever! Despite not being able to play the guitar very well, or even at all back then, I still was a major music force, somewhat to my peers in high school! This is another weird thing that's now very popular, but at the time I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I was the school DJ during lunch period. Well, after I got that job in the restaurant, I was making all kinds of crazy money, I did all the things a would do who suddenly finds himself with a lot of cash! I bought a cool sports car ( to impress the girls of course ) clothes, a bad ass stereo system, my electric guitar, that I still couldn't play, but I owned one anyway, and to top it off. I had something that was very coveted at the time, because again, this was before computers, cell phones or you tube. I had an extensive record collection. And that made me the envy of everyone I knew even more then any of the other stuff. So, when I wasn't jamming out listening to tunes on my bad ass sound system that everyone envied me for too! I thought," hmmmm, you know what would be cool, if I started bringing my albums to school and playing them at lunch on the school record player and pa system they had installed there "! So I did, and everybody loved it! They used to address me in the halls with, " Oh, damn, you got new clothes, that car is cool, you sure do have a lot of records, would you go to the prom with me "! I know that doesn't sound impressive, but previously or about the year before I got that job I was despised and hated universally by everyone, not just the other classmates but the teachers and administrators, they were really on my dick, mainly because I was poor and had no money. Once again, did I enjoy shoving it into the faces of those assholes who maligned me and making them eat shit? Yes, sometime things work out just the way you think they will! Incidentally, my principle who had written me off as heading to prison as soon as I graduated was shocked to shit when I pulled up next to him in the parking lot with a newer more expensive model of the same sports car he owned! I still remember the look on his face! LOL!
But there was one album I loved more then all of the others, my sound track album for the the Who's movie " the are alright "! And yes I still have it, it's buried somewhere, probably the same place I have the clothes? I used to crank that album at lunch and really had a good time. Everyone else loved it too! I went to see the movie at the local theater when it played there. There were no DVD's or even VHS tapes of movies back then. The only way you could see a movie was in the theater or wait until they played it on tv two years later. So I think I went to see it in the theater several nights in a row. I would go home and take out that Tesco Del Ray electric guitar I had and try to play what I saw Pete doing in the movies. He had a few cool tricks that I could actually reproduce. Like for instance, there were no whammy bars on guitars back then. They had tremolo's, but if you used them, it would send the guitar out of tune. Because there wasn't any locking nuts either. I didn't know any of this at the time. So, to get cool effects, you had to improvise. So during the " Who are you " video in the movie, you see Pete strike open strings and then spin the neck of the guitar in a quick circle. It gives it the sound of bending the strings or that wah wah sound! I thought that was so cool, I still do! They showed clips of a Concert the Who had done recently at Kilburn. That's the footage of them playing " won't get fool again and a few others. So, I was playing a few Who songs and I thought I would get out my " The Who at Kilburn DVD and play along to the songs. Like I said, I used my cool amp with the classic presets and my new Les Paul with humbucker signal splitters and the new blu ray player I bought because the DVD wouldn't come out of the fucking thing on the old one so I trashed it! After I popped into the player I for some reason or other started fiddle fucking with the audio button on the remote. Well, wouldn't you know it, the damn thing splits up the channels and takes out various instruments on the sound track. So, I could take out Pete's guitar part and insert my own playing there. And that's just what I did. Also I have a big ass flat screen I was sitting right in front of so it gave me the impression of being right on stage with them. Now for those of you who don't know, the Who had one of the best rhythm sections in the world. John and Keith are still considered one of the most powerful! It's a good thing I finally got my chops up well enough to keep up with them! So I played a few songs with them and it was just like jamming with them live. I've actually played these songs live with real bands on stage, so I know what it's like. And it was pretty close. I looked up instinctively at certain points in the songs. like I would do if I was playing live on stage, at the bass and drums and coincidently, they had shots of either Keith or John there when I did. It felt like I was preforming with them! I was having more fun then should be legally allowed for sure. Afterward I sat back stunned at what I had just done! I never thought this was possible and I certainly never dreamed in a million years that when I was watching this performance in the movie theater when I was in high school that I would someday be able to play along with them, and not only that, use the exact same equipment?! Just shows you, sometimes things work out exactly like you think they would!

I have more to add here about the album Who's Next these songs are from. I've gained some interesting insight lately I want to share. But, this post is long enough and I want to watch Game of Thrones and have dinner. I'll write more later!

Addendum

Okay, I did watch that episode of GOT and wow that was something! That has to be my favorite episode of the whole fucking series! Hey, a long time ago, I noticed the similarities to the myth of a flying fire breathing dragon and a modern day fighter jet! They both do basically the same thing. I always wondered if someone somewhere back the days before modern inventions, that somebody actually witnessed a fighter jet buzzing around and took it for a dragon or something? It could have happened like one jet got caught in one of those time space continuum vortexes of the Bermuda triangle and found themselves in the past, zipped around looking for a base or sign of life, and then got sucked back into it so he wasn't late for dinner back at the base. Meanwhile a bunch of primitive people saw it and thought it was a flying dragon because they had never seen anything fly through the air before except birds and arrows they shot. It's a thought, and theory, I'll bet I'm proven right someday?
Okay enough of the fun stuff. No, I haven't heard from the princess and I'm sure were really done now. Today is her birthday, but I didn't get her anything. Because if I did, it would only prolong a very bad situation. One I should have extracted myself from a long time ago. Unfortunately, there are just too many differences between us, they can not be reconciled. I also realized that this situation was almost identical to the one I found myself in with Erica and Jay at one time. The only difference was I actually interacted with her regularly. But interestingly, she kept me at a distance even though we were sitting right next to one another most of the time. And her boyfriend was saying the same exact things to me that Jay used to, except he was texting me, instead of writing it here on the blog. And like Jay, he threatened me, but we've never met. Oh, one of the last conversations I had with the princess, she told me Alex or her douche bag boyfriend, was heading back to prison again. Yeah, the state enacted a crack down on all the known dealers, and that's what he does, so...! I know what you're thinking, " hey, here's your opportunity "! For what? To get with her, and then when he gets released she goes running right back to his crib, that he shares with the rest of his family! So, that's what that's about. But I will say this for her as opposed to Erica. She actually did utilize all the advantages she could while she was associating with me. Erica turned tail and ran, and instead, then sold her for medical experiments! This girl, the princess, is not Jewish, but she might as well be. I've never seen a woman with such a radar for money in my life!
Well, anyway, things have been happening and I'll be doing a lot of new stuff again soon. The dreams are coming back. I have new one every night. I dreamt about Van Halen again last night, it's some kind of an omen I'm sure. But I've been working on some new songs and I just discovered something about one of my favorite albums. It's by a band called " The Church ". The album is "Starfish " its a sonically surrealistic tome. I've always loved it but for some reason never played any of the songs. I don't know, I guess I felt I'd rather just listen to it then play it. But, as I was going through the songs just now, I realized some eerie coincidences from the time when I first heard it and what I was doing musically and guitar wise. First of all, all of the songs are very simple, written with very simple chords or just like the ones I was learning at the time! Also, they even used some of those Hendrix chord tricks that I was practicing at the time. I always thought the guitar work was more complicated. That's because they used two guitars and layered multiple effects on top of them. It sounds more complicated then it actually is. But to reproduce it, Ill need to play more then one part. So, I'm wondering if I can use the effect editor on you tube to do a split screen thing. I'd like to play all of the parts including the bass. That would be cool! I'll see what I can come up with?

Addendum

Well, the princess called me on her birthday, and I stopped by her place to bring her a few things, just breakfast and ciggs. But, it was more of the same. We have two totally divergent or opposite points of view. And they can not be reconciled. She just basically wants to be friends and continue the benefits of having me in her life. Acting as a surrogate boyfriend while she maintains her relationship with her real boyfriend. But, he's not a boyfriend, he's only using her for sex, and the only reason she can be in a relationship with him, is because she has manipulated me into picking up his tab. But despite that, there are other factors involved, irrespective on my personal feelings for her, that won't allow me to continue to support this situation. I never wanted to support it in the first place. But, I figured I would have to tolerate it until I could get her to change her behavior and her mind. I now realize she wants to do neither. She just wants to maintain the status quo. I will not do that any longer. So, that's it. I've been telling her this the last few times we talked and I think it finally has sunk in. That conversation was typical of her manipulating bullshit. She calls me up crying about some fines and having to go to court to keep from losing her license. I asked her why Alex isn't helping her, he is her boyfriend after all? She says, " we broke up "! Yeah right, and the pope shits in the woods. So, like I said, when ever she needs something, she runs to me. As soon as I fix the problem, she runs back to him. Because, after all, why not, she doesn't have anything to worry about now, right?! And when things get fucked up, she just pull the same game again. She's done this for about a year now. And I finally figured it out and got wise. Hey, if she wasn't so pretty and charming I wouldn't have let it drag on for so long, I guess I was being naïve. I wanted to believe that I could change her, and of course I can't. People don't change, a simple fact of life. But unfortunately, it's not that she's just going to go off and continue this scenario with someone else. She is facing some really serious obstacles. Even if I was going to stay with her and continue to play her game, it wouldn't be going on much longer anyway. The jig is up, the party's over, and I just left it a little early. Oh, when I dropped the stuff off at her place, she wasn't there. I thought she was because I was just talking to her on the phone. The house land line, apparently she hasn't got her phone unlocked. And that's just one of the many problems she has to contend with that she can't get fixed without me. But like I said, it doesn't matter really. I never should have gotten involved with her in the first place. Yeah, she drove off in her Mom's car on a quick errand. I thought she was just hiding from me. As I'm knocking on the door Elvis is barking his head off! So, I left and then like ten minutes later she calls me back, on the land line, telling me she just missed me. I don't know if she was there hiding from me, or if she really was on a run? Like I said, she's a game player.
Now about that album " Starfish " by " the Church ". I know, I started this post talking about The Who , and now I'm on another band! LOL! But I want to elaborate a little more because it's significant. At the time the album came out, I was still learning the guitar. I was past the beginner stage and starting to get into all kinds of stuff. I was trying to learn the Van Halen stuff but I was also playing all kinds of other things. The level I was on, were about the types of chords and scales that this band used to form this album. I became enamored with the album because I like the music, I didn't really consider anything about how it was written. I did learn a few of the songs back then. Under the milky way, and I tried to play " Reptile " too at the time. But, now, I looked at the album as a whole and I'm wondering why I didn't adhere to it more at the time? Here is an example of what I'm talking about. With the really good bands, like Van Halen, Hendrix, Zeppelin, Floyd, Who, Beatles, or even Clapton, what will typically happen is, you'll be playing their songs, and most of the chords and structure you recognize and the suddenly they'll do something totally out of the ordinary that shouldn't work, but for some weird ass reason it does. And in your mind you're saying, like R Lee Emery in Full Metal Jacket when he discovered the jelly donut in Private Pyle's foot locker, " Oh my God, what the fuck is that, what is that "!? LOL! I've had that experience more then once with those artist, I still do! So, when a band comes a long and creates an entire album using simple chords and riffs it is just as surprising. Why I didn't notice how simple they were originally, is because they used a few clever tricks. They had two guitar players playing different parts simultaneously and they also used effects to get that surrealistic sound. They weren't the only band doing that at the time. Practically all of the bands were. But, they had good songs. You can use all the tricks in the world to dress up your music, but if you don't have a good tune at the core, you're just putting lipstick on a pig, so to speak. And ironically, Pete Townshend did essentially the same thing with his magnum opus " Who's Next ". There's an interesting fact I just discovered or didn't realize before. That album is one of the all time greatest rock albums. The songs are written very simply or basically. But, what made it unique was the way Pete utilized that new technology of the synthesizer. At the time it was new, and Pete had just come off tour with his Tommy Rock opera, so he was flush with cash. So, he got one of those new moog synthesizers that all the other bands were starting to use too. But here is the interesting or amazing part. That opening riff you hear on Baba o Reilly was actually a hybrid of the synthesizer and some guitar effects he cobbled together. They still have never been able to accurately reproduce what her did, because it was probably a strung together fucked up mess. Oh, they can recreate it with other means and things now, but they can't do it the way it was ever originally done. But here is the thing, this was new, there were a world of possibilities he could have used to create sounds with it. But instead, he looked at it, and then rigged it together with other things and created a unique and totally original riff for what would have been just a regular or not very special song. But that weird synth riff made it great and spectacular! See, that's the difference between just being common or run of the mill, and a genius! He literally thought outside of the box! In this case the box was the moog synthesizer! It's just fascinating to me when you study this stuff.

Hey, guess what. I wanted to get more acquainted with that album by The Church, Starfish. So I clicked on over to you tube and I decided to watch the band perform it live. Also, the song book for the album came in the mail today, it wasn't supposed to come until tomorrow. So anyway, I was going to mention before how I thought they had a kind of unique sound. And I was thinking they probably were doing some sort of studio effects wizardry. And I would probably have to down load their presets to get the same sound when I go to make the videos. And then I see the guitarist is just basically using a device called and ebow. It's a thing you hold against the strings and it vibrates to give you long sustained notes. It's been around for a while or was used in the eighties a lot. And a delay pedal. That's basically how they create their whole surrealistic sound. I thought, " eh, well, that's not too complicated, I could manage that "! I just looked it up online, it costs about a hundred bucks. So, I'll get one so I can make the songs sound right. See, I do and do for you , and this is the thanks I get!
But then something else. I'm reading the lyrics to the songs, I never paid much attention to them before. And it's like he's speaking to me in my present situation and state of mind. Of course he's just talking about universal themes that could apply to anyone at any time. But it freaked me out a little. It's just all too coincidental at the moment and considering everything else that's been happening lately. I just find it a little strange that's all.

Addendum

Well, the princess managed to bring me back into her fold again Don't say it!
I know, I was sitting there wondering myself how the fuck this happened. And not only that, she's not giving in an inch. She's still insisting on keeping the status quo or keeping things just as they are, even though I told her that is not an option any longer. So, like an idiot, I was trying to make my case again, and of course, she's not having it. Which, in case you didn't know, I'm holding all the cards here, and she's completely dependent on me for just about everything, and she's still dictating terms! Well, she calls me up and cries she's hungry and needs coffee. So, me being a helpful imbecile I go get the stuff and drop it off at her place. She comes out of the house, her hair is still wet because she just got out of the shower. She's dressed, wearing shorts and a t-shirt but no shoes. She gives me a hug and thanks me for everything. Then were back to business as usual! So the next day I go there again. She's got other problems I'm trying to assist her with, so it's not like I'm being a total dipshit here. She knows I won't leave her in the lurch with certain things and that's mainly how she gets me. Well, anyway, apparently her douche bag boyfriend isn't too keen on the idea of me being in her life either. We go out back and sit in her gazeebo! She's still has it set up like a party pad and I believe the tv stays on perpetually? She told me when she spoke to him that morning he told her "him or me "! LOL! So then she calls him up and puts him on speaker phone. I've never met him and I don't have to. He talks like a typical inner city ghetto rat, " yo yo, what's up, you get what I'm saying homey, you feel me..." I'm sure you've heard it yourself a million fucking times. I refused to participate. So she's arguing with him and as I'm listening, he's revealing what I already know about him and the situation, but now he's just confirming it for sure. One of the things he said, as he was making his case for why he's a better candidate for her hand then me. He says, " and I even gave you two hundred and eighty five dollars once.. ". Probably for her phone shit. And finally I couldn't take it anymore and I say in a low voice, " I gave her thousands..."! He didn't hear me but she did. I know $285 is a lot for him, because he doesn't have any money, so that's why he was making that point. I've given her ten times that amount in the same period. But it's not as big a deal for me, in fact I don't think I've ever even brought it up until then. So, then after he hangs up, I'm standing in front of her, trying to appeal to logic and reason in this situation. And she's reclining back on her fur covered sofa like the queen of Sheba looking up at me with those two aqua jewels and her long blonde hair and her hot super model body! It was all to no avail. She's in her own world and logic and reason have no place there. I later found out. Oh, while she was talking to the jungle native, Elvis came to the door of the gazeebo! It's a screen door so I could see him. I let him in and was petting him while the Zulu warlord ran his mouth. I notice how big that fucking is. His paws are as big as my hands. If he stood up on his hind legs he'd be taller then me. That's why I try to stay on his good side by scratching his back. Our deal is, I scratch your back and you don't eat me! So, we got through another crisis with the princess again, apparently. But, I have to have another serious talk with her. I have to tell her, " look, I'm not going to let you force me into the role of playing Santa Clause to you while you run around with a broke ass jungle bunny! It's not happening and get that through your pretty fucking head '! Hey, I've tried to be forceful with her, and she just smiles and then hugs me and were back to the same ol, same ol! Oh yeah, one of the things her douche bag said about me is that I'm a racist! That's the card all those inner city ghetto rats play, for just about anything when they're up against a rich white guy for something. No, I just hate N****r's! Well, that's what's up for now, I'll keep you apprized...

Addendum

Well, for those who are following this soap opera....I wrote that addendum post yesterday and today it's a whole new world. I'll just tell you what happened. The princess called me up first thing in the morning, while I was still having my coffee and captain crunch! Usually it's a little later in the day for her bullshit! So, of course she needs a ride. So, I tell her give me a few minutes I'll be right there. I get there at the McDonalds and she gets in all distraught. In other words, her usual demeanor. She and Alex, her boyfriend, got into a big fight last night. Apparently he accused her of some hanky panky with another guy. And he flipped out. He was high, probably jacked up on meth or something and she said he locked her in his room, held her hostage the whole night, threatened her, struck her a few times. She had a few bruises, but nothing too serious. And before you even think it, no, she's not pressing any type of charges against him even though he could get kidnapping and assault. She said she tried to get away by climbing out the window but he grabbed her ankle and pulled her back inside. Ironically, the police did show up there, I guess because they were making so much noise. But they didn't know which house to go to, so they left. Um....couldn't they just go the one they usually do, the one where Alex the felon and known drug dealer lives? Anyway, she said he finally fell asleep or crashed more accurately, and she got his brother to let her out. She claims after this, that they are finally through and it's over. If you know anything about these types of relationships, you realize that may not be the case. She insists though, when I questioned her sincerity on the matter. She said he also has the bike I gave her, and he might use that as a bargaining chip. I told her to tell him, he's facing assault and kidnapping, he shouldn't want to add theft to the list. Well, I told her not to worry about the bike, I would buy her another one if I had to. Where she will go from here I don't know. She has other factors to deal with and this is just one of them. But she's not out of the woods by a damn sight with her fucked up situation. I'm just sitting here waiting for her to make her next distress call. That's what's up for now.

Addendum

Well, she claims that she's through with the bum, but she's still hanging with him. Of course he's trying to weasel his way back in to her bed, duh! But I'll give her credit, so far she's been holding him off. He claims he doesn't remember anything, how convenient! What ever really happened, it must have been really bad because she's been sticking to her guns. She invited me over for breakfast this morning. That was the first time a woman has made me breakfast since I was married. I've had breakfast with lots of women, but none had ever cooked it for me. Then while I'm there, the asshole calls and keeps her on the phone with him the entire time I'm there until I left. I called her up later in the day to complain to her about that, and she's back to making excuses for the scumfuck again! " he was leaving and I had some business to discuss with him" She said he's giving her money for her goddamn fucking phone. It's all such and obvious ploy he's using but you can't tell her that. Something else I want to mention, about her Elvis. I know and love dogs, but this one is different. He doesn't act like a regular dog. I mean, of course he's a dog, but he has a different sort of personality. It's like he's a person, that was turned into a dog, but still reacts like a person. The main thing is the way he looks at me. I was in the kitchen once and he was sitting in the corner. He was looking up at me, but not like a does. it was more like an expression of, "what the fuck are you looking at ' type of look. I've seen that look in people lots of times. I've never expected to see it from a though. Today, while the princess was talking to the asshole, I called to him, I said, " Hey Elvis "! Instead of turning his head toward me like a normal would, he just looks at me out of the corner of his eye. Then turns away and walks into the next room. I thought, " shit, that's really different behavior from a dog "! And the fact that he's so goddamn fucking big, almost makes me wonder if there's a human in there wearing a costume?!

Addendum

The princess and I are on the outs again. But this time I think it's for real Let me explain. We were getting along fairly nicely, or so I thought anyway. She even stayed over at my place last week. We stopped and got taco's at this place she likes to go to. We came back here to my house. My friend from work showed up because I hired him to do some yard work for me. He brought his brother in law with him to help. He's black, not that means anything really, except I'm not used to seeing black people roaming around my property very often, lol! Anyway, with all this activity there at once, it was almost like a house party. All I had to do is drag my amp outside in the back yard and set up a keg of beer and the party would be on! But, instead, they finished the job and I paid them and they left. The princess and I were getting along pretty good. She actually let me touch her this time. I gave her a back massage and then after dinner I rubbed her feet. I told her she had very soft feet despite the fact that she goes barefoot a lot at her own place out in the woods. She's still not with that scumfuck boyfriend of hers. So, I tried to make some in road for a relationship with me. She kind of cut me off and pushed me away. Then she slept over. For me it was no big deal, but it seemed like one for her. She slept on the couch. She actually fits perfectly into it length wise. I have to bend my knees to fit in there. A few days later we spent another day together. We bought taco's again, but from another place this time. And we had a picnic out in some park. There was a high school marching band doing a rehearsal there, so we had a lot of entertainment too. They had a few male cheerleaders in the group whom I labeled as gay. It was obvious, I mean seriously. And so we had a rather pleasant day together. But she kept up her shit by making it clear she wasn't interested in dating me. Now, if you've been paying attention, you'll notice we do everything a boyfriend and girlfriend would do with one another. Except she won't make the commitment to actually go out with me. So, later in the day, she said something and that was the final straw for me. I took her home and was very abrupt with her. She wanted me to hang out in the gazeebo with her for a while. I refused and then she tried to give me hug and I refused that too. She seemed to not understand my sudden change in demeanor and attitude with her. Of course not, if you're a totally self absorbed narcissist like she apparently is. She called me for some help with something, I helped her out, like I always do but I didn't play completely into her hands this time. She seemed a little miffed when I dropped her off, at the asshole boyfriends place, the one she's claiming she's not with, but still hangs out with. I know, her shit is so fucked up, I can't believe it myself sometimes. Well, she called me yesterday, But this time when she asked me, I said, " nah "! She of course didn't take no for answer, and she says, " please " in her little girl voice. I still said " no ". Then I started laying into her about just one thing about her behavior and attitude that bothers me. I had many many to choose from. She gets all huffy and says, " I'll talk to you later man " and hangs up. Mean while, that project she was supposed to help me work on, I found someone more reliable and were moving ahead with it. So, at least I'm not staying in the cycle and I'm doing something to improve my standing and disposition. She's still in a dead end cycle. There is nothing I can do at this point to impress upon her to change. Oh, while we were on the picnic, she said to me," that if I had this thing together by now, she wouldn't have been messing with Alex and other stuff '! I replied ' that it's not fair to saddle me with your problems making me culpable for them in some fashion ". See, that's how she is, she does all this selfish shit and then says it's mine, or somebody elses fault. It's never hers. So, you can see why I'm frustrated with her. But, I do have a card to play here yet. She is extremely attached to me, whether she realizes it or not. She'll just keep coming at me, requesting things and I'll keep rebuffing her. She also hasn't realized I can be just as stubborn and hard headed as she is. And I realized the reason I inserted Erica into the dreams I was having about her, is because they are very similar in personality. It I could introduce them to one another, and that might happen, I mean all I have to do is drive down to the airport. The princess would go with me, she follows me anywhere. They would instantly recognize one another and act like long lost twins that were separated at birth! And say, " Hey, I know you "! And the princess would reply, " Hey, I know you too! Let's go down to the dyke bar and have some fun together "! Yeah, the princess has recently revealed to me her interest in women as well! And I know Erica likes girls, so that's one thing I know they have in common, and just about everything else because I'm familiar with both of them! They also have another thing in common, they both treat me like shit, and....uh.... think I'm the shit on the guitar too. Which is a nice sentiment, but it still doesn't butter my biscuit if you know what I mean? See, I'm cursed by these selfish succubus bitches, I'll tell you what! Word.


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Time of the season
Posted:Jul 3, 2017 3:02 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2017 12:16 pm
13385 Views

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It's the time of the season
When love runs high
And this time, give it to me easy
And let me try with pleasured hands

To take you in the sun to (promised lands)
To show you every one
It's the time of the season for loving

What's your name?
Who's your daddy?
(He rich) Is he rich like me?
Has he taken, any time (any time)
(To show) to show you what you need to live

Tell it to me slowly (tell me what)
I really want to know
It's the time of the season for loving

What's your name?
Who's your daddy?
(He rich) Is he rich like me?
Has he taken, any time (any time)
(To show) to show you what you need to live

Tell it to me slowly (tell me what)
I really want to know
It's the time of the season for loving



Okay, here's the latest! I'll give you the short synopsis in case you don't feel like reading through the whole fucking thing. The princess and I are still together, but were not. No, we still haven't done the nasty. We will be ramping up our relationship though, because we're working on a new project together. She wants to move in with me, I'm against it for just about any reason you can think of. I bought a couple of new guitars, Les Paul and a Tele. I realized those dreams, about Erica, I had written about in the past were actually about the princess and not Erica. But, the reason Erica was inserted into the dream instead of her, was because they are very similar in personality and everything else.
What do you want to know about first? Okay, the princess and I, it seems like, are tied together. Even though we both keep trying to break things off, we still find ourselves drawn together. This new project I'm working on. I could do it by myself, but I realize she would be better at some aspects of it than I would. So, I kind of have to bring her into it. She told me how well she's done in the past. Which I found unbelievable at first, but I realized if that's true I really do need her assistance with this new thing. So, I'm kind of stuck there, at least for now. But I'm sure as I go along she'll probably become more ingrained with things and I won't be able to get rid of her even if I wanted too! But, if things go the way I think they will, it won't be that much of a problem. Besides, if worst comes to worse, I can always start drinking again! This relationship, if you want to call it that, is not easy by any means. For one thing, she's nasty and really vicious sometimes! She's been using physical violence against me, for about the entire time I've known her. Nah, it doesn't bother me. It must be because I'm older or something. When I was younger if someone hit me, I didn't care who they were I'd retaliate! With her, I barely even notice and don't even react most of the times. I'll give you an example. We were riding in the car together, probably going somewhere to buy her something, as usual. And she was telling me how she and that spic douche bag she's dating were banned from the adult shop! So, me being my witty and insightful self, I replied, " Oh, I know why? Because you were playing Goldie Locks and the three bears in the dildo section. This one is too big, this one is too small, ah, this one fits just right! And Alex was doing the same thing, but in the butt plug section"! Which I personally think is very fucking funny. And then she halls off and punches me right in the mouth! LOL! First of all I'm driving so we could have gotten into an accident. But no, it didn't hurt. Although I pretended like it did to make her feel good. Her blonde hands are too soft, she can't hurt me. Plus I'm used to being punched in the face. If I hadn't reacted like it hurt, she would have hit me with something that would have. She has this big German shepherd named Elvis. She took her Moms car out one night and got into an accident with hit. The next day, she and her sister got into a knock down drag out fight over it. So, Elvis stepped in and took a bite out of both of them to get them to stop fighting, apparently it worked. She showed me the bite mark on her leg. So, after she slugged me, I said, " You know if you had done that at home, Elvis would bite you again "! LOL! She just glared at me still seething! That's just one time I remembered, she's constantly striking me over shit! In the winter time, I was coming out of the mini mart, buying her cigarettes because she forgot her ID. And she hurled a big ice ball at me. Now, this is where my martial arts training comes into play. Once in an early morning class, when I was still a stupid white belt. My senior instructor was holding his coffee and a donut while conducting the class. He asked me to stand in front of him and punch him. Me being as stupid as Kelly or Jay at the time, asked, " won't you spill your coffee '? He just shook his head. So, I fired off dead center and hit air! He pivoted his body with his feet causing me to completely miss him, even though he was right in front of me. And he didn't even spill his coffee. So, when I came outside and saw this snowball coming at me, I did the same thing, and it missed me and hit the door. And no, I didn't throw one back at her. Because I would have hit her and probably injured her too! That's another side affect from my training, every time I aim at something, I hit the target! After all this abuse I suffer at her hands, what do you think I do in response? You're right, I buy her more stuff! Oh well.
So, I bought a couple of new guitars. Once again, I had not intended to buy them, but I found myself in the same place I was when I bought two guitars the last time, Sam Ash in King of Prussia. It must be force of habit or something. I saw these guitars online and was planning on ordering them that way, eventually. But I found myself meandering around the store, and well, you know how it is? Now, first of all, I rationalized, that I needed to buy another Les Paul, because I have to have one in my collection. The one I had before, I sold because it was a total piece of shit. Of which I paid a fortune for, and it still didn't play right. I bought it online, paying almost two thousand dollars for it. It was beat to shit, the neck was warped and the frets buzzed like crazy! I had my guitar tech work on it, and he did everything possible to get it to sound right, but it still sounded like crap. I think who ever had it before must have left it out in extreme temperatures? That's why these things have cases and you have to leave them in a room with a good temperature range. You can here how bad it sounded in the videos I made with it. I think I took all of them down though because I realized how bad it sounded. Well, this new one I bought is actually better and way cooler, but at a fraction of the price. It's the epiphone Les Paul. Not only does it feel and sound better it has a really cool feature to it! It has a push pull volume knobs that allow you to split the signal of the humbucker to turn it into a single coil. When I was still in high school, I remember reading how Jimmy Page had his Les Paul modified to do just that. But he had buttons installed under the pick guard. I remember thinking how cool that was, even though at the time, I didn't know why. The reason is, he recorded the first couple of albums with a telecaster. That has just single coil pick ups on it. So, when he was on stage, to get the same tone, without switching guitars, he could just press the buttons and make the humbuckers into single coils. That was it. But I still think it's a cool feature. So, when they started marketing this model, that was the main reason I wanted it. And even though it's not a Gibson, it's still very cool. Now, for the snobs out there,. I owned a Gibson Les Paul, before I bought that piece of shit that wouldn't play. And I remember having to spend a lot of money to have it worked on the entire time I owned it. I thought because of all the money I spent on it, I shouldn't have had that problem, but I did. Everything needed work or replacement at one time or another. Those things are good, but they cost a lot to maintain too! So, if I'm going to be paying out the ass over the years, I shouldn't have to lay out so much up front. But I don't think that will happen with this one. I can tell it's very solidly built and I don't anticipate having any problems with it. I think they could have asked for twice the amount that I paid for it, easily. I also bought a telecaster, because I've never owned one. My reasoning was, I have a Stratocaster, I don't need a telecaster. But, once again, I was wrong. It's a totally different animal and has a completely different feel to it. Also, "my gypsy road " video. I made, was supposed to have a telecaster. I used my Ibanez and it didn't sound right. So now I have an excuse to rerecord it! I saw a whole bunch of other guitars I wanted down there too, but I controlled myself and only bought two. I will be back to buy out the store again, you can bank on it!
About those dreams I had and included Erica in them. Well, I'm glad I documented them and I believe I had them several years ago. For some reason, I was thinking about them again. It's weird, because I still remember the dreams like they were an actual event. So, when I thought about them again, I realized that the places I had dreamt about, were the places the princess, I'm currently associated with, that she lives and dwells in. For instance, the house I said I met Erica in, with other people and women. That's exactly what the princesses home looks like. I didn't realize it at first until I was over the last time, and she had me walk through from the living room to the kitchen. Usually they have it blocked off to keep Elvis off the couch. When I saw it from that perspective, I recognized it as the house from my dream. Also,. I remember describing a big dog, like a shepherd in the dream. That's exactly what her looks like. And I think I said I was playing with it too. And I play with Elvis every time I visit there. Also, I remember mentioning chimes. Well, outside on the porch, they have about a dozen different wind chimes. Also, in the yard, there is a chair and bench, like the ones I described in my dream. Only, so far, she and I have not sat on them and looked up at the night sky to see some amazing event, yet. I remember in another dream, I said that Erica was in a house with all these other people sleeping around the room. That is the princesses boyfriends place. I haven't been there yet, but from what she described to me, it's exactly like remember in the dream. And a third dream I had, involved me examining her foot. the princess had injured her ankle. She was in the bathroom of her house and showing me her foot. I remember, it looked was exactly how I remembered seeing it in the dream. What all of this means, I still don't know. But, as you can see, I documented all of this previously. You could say I'm making it all up? But, I could go take pictures of everything I've just mentioned and post them here. Maybe I will?
All of this is very eerie and strange to me. But, like I said, we're working on a new project. And I know Erica hates my guts, but I know for sure she'd want to be in on what I'm doing now, if she knew what it was. But, instead I'm working with her doppelganger. So, go figure?

Addendum

Well, the princess just left. She was over at my place because we were supposed to be working on stuff, namely our new project. We need to come up with a name, and a facebook page for promotions. We're not using either of our own facebook pages because it's not practical and I also don't want you bitches getting all up in my shit.
Anyway, she was over last Monday too. I finally got to play my guitar for her. I played the doors "You're a lost little girl ". Because I thought the subject matter was appropriate and she recognized the point I was making immediately. She's sharp about things like that, but kind of naïve about other more common things. Like for instance. That bike I bought for her. She didn't know how to use the gears. I thought that was a basic thing she should have mastered, considering that she's been riding so long, but apparently not. I tired not to laugh at her but it was really freakin hard! She got mad and told me to leave, I was at her place. Later when I was performing the song, she told me I had a good singing voice. I may make it my next video. I was going to use one of my priemo axes when I played it to her. But, for some odd reason I used that piece of crap Tesco Del Ray I once bought because it was similar to my first guitar. It worked or sounded good because it's a sixties song, and that guitar was manufactured in the sixties. Even though Robbie Krieger the doors guitarist probably used a top of the line Gibson for the record. The guitars made during that period were built differently and have a distinct tone. Even the cheap models. So, that may have been why it worked? So, speaking of weird ass shit. Guess what? The very next day, I wrote this post, I saw in real life, the vision I had in the dream! Can you believe that shit? Well I can't! And not only that, after I witnessed it, I realized some of the odd aspects of the event that didn't make sense when I saw it in the dream. Let me explain. Another strange thing, is that I remember the dream like it was an actual event, and I can still recall details of it just from memory. That in, and of, itself is bizarre. In the dream, or the part at the end, after Erica showed me the chime in the kitchen. We were sitting in the back yard and it was getting dark, like dusk. We were both sitting on back yard benches or furniture. She said something, I don't remember now, maybe I wrote about it when I originally related this dream? But I'm not going to look it up because it's not important. I remember feeling like I wanted to ask her something. Then, we looked up in the sky, and I saw a huge military cargo jet! I think I said it reminded me of an aircraft carrier in the sky. I think I said it was banking in the sky and flying low as well? Also, it was bright around the plane, but dark surrounding the bright circle I was seeing. The day after I wrote this post, I was riding in a car and I heard the sound of a big jet. I looked out of the window, and I saw exactly what I just described to you now. I was shocked to shit, and I still don't believe it! First of all, yes it was indeed a military cargo jet or something like that. Now before you go off on a "it's not what you described because......" tangent. It was exactly what I saw in the dream and I have never seen anything like it before. It was a huge jet, it had four engines on the wings, just like I witnessed in the dream. It was flying very low to the ground or lower then normal. It was still a few thousand feet above the ground but too low for something of that size. It was banking at the same angle I saw in the dream too. I'm looking at this and I can't believe what I'm seeing! It also had something strange on the bottom or belly of the plane. I don't know what it was. It wasn't the engines because those were on the wings. Like I said, it was a cargo jet. It was definitely not a commercial jet, I know what those things look like. I have never seen a plane like this before. I watched it make a few low passes then it took off. I don't know what it was doing, or why it was flying so low or anything else. Now, about the way I viewed it in the dream and how it actually looked. I said it was bright around the plane, but circled in darkness. That's because I was viewing it from inside a car. It was bright outside viewing through the window but dark inside the car from where I was sitting, that's why it looked like that when I was viewing in the dream. I didn't understand it then, but since I've now actually witnessed it, I understand everything completely. Later on that day, the princess called me and we talked on the phone. Nothing of anything note worthy happened that day, except we may have been discussing our new project. I know in the dream I was sitting on benches in the back yard with Erica when I witnessed the jet banking low in the sky. That's the only part I don't understand. Well, there you have it. I told you the dreams, I've now told you I have witnessed actual events and places from those dreams. I don't know what it means, or why Erica was inserted into them and not the current princess I'm associated with now. Maybe that will be explained eventually too. I'm waiting with great anticipation!

Addendum

Well, here is the latest. The princess and I are on the outs at the moment. The reason, I'm sure you could figure, is that other guy she's seeing. I wanted to start a project with her, and she was enthusiastic about it too. But, I could never reconcile that relationship she had with that total loser. That's mainly why I never got involved with her myself. I don't know what she was planning but not very long ago, I'm talking just a few weeks ago, she was seriously trying to move in with me! She didn't thank God, but not because of me or even her, it was other extenuating circumstances. The whole thing is a lot more complicated than I'm telling here. The main problem I have is that the guy is a criminal and he will bring her down with him. I try to explain that to her, but anyone who's ever dealt with a woman who's fixated on one of these types of guys knows what I'm up against. But at the same time she wanted to maintain a relationship with me. It's like she has a dual personality and wanted to live in two completely and opposite worlds simultaneously! I know it sounds really fucked up, and it is. Well, I couldn't tolerate this bullshit anymore so I basically told her to make up her mind and choose one of us. She has, for the moment chose him. But, it's not that simple. She was making a knee jerk emotional reaction and hasn't really thought it through. Here's how the situation really is. She's spoiled and expects a certain level of accommodations. Which she was receiving from me. She thinks she loves him, but he's just using her for sex, and doesn't care about her. I know this because in the entire time she's been with him he's never helped her or done anything of significance for her. When ever she needed anything she would come to me. And I would provide it for her. Which in turn allowed her to stay in this fucked up situation with this loser. Yeah, right I know, it's a fucked up circle of dysfunction and I had to put an end to it. So I did. Right now she's fuming, thinking, " I don't need him, who does he think he is trying to tell me how to run my life, fuck him "! And she probably feel that way for a while or until all of the advantages I've given her slowly start running out! I give it a month or until the summer ends. Then, reality will start to set in. Unless she's made some adjustments of her own, like getting a regular job? Which I don't think she will because of her personality and attitude. She'll be left to face some hard realities. Which, she should have faced a long time ago but because of me, she didn't have too! So, it will be interesting to see what happens next. What could very likely happen is, she'll just adjust and move on and I won't hear from her again. Or like I've been thinking, the situation will resolve itself. But, I know that is way too much of an optimistic view to hold. What will probably happen is, she will wait a while, then try to schmooze me into the old pattern and hope I don't object or figure it out again. LOL! But, that's not going to happen because I'm not caving this time. I can't. Plus my own situation is changing and evolving as well. I don't know where I will be in a few months. My whole situation could change and I'll be deported into a whole new reality. So, even if she wants to keep doing things the old way, it won't be possible anyway. Yeah, I know, it's really complicated. Well, we'll see where it goes?


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gotterdammerung
Posted:Mar 16, 2017 9:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2017 1:37 pm
16822 Views

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If there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you

I've got everything that you want
Like a heart that's oh so true
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you

I've got arms that long to hold you
And keep you by my side
I've got lips that long to kiss you
And keep you satisfied (oh)

If there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you

From me
To you
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you

I've got arms that long to hold you
And keep you by my side
I've got lips that long to kiss you
And keep you satisfied (oh)

If there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you
To you
To you
To you



Göt·ter·däm·mer·ung.

[ˌɡädərˈdaməro͝oNG]

DEFINITION
(in Germanic mythology) the downfall of the gods.

What I want to talk about is why I'm such an idiot letting myself be taken in by a young sexy user! LOL! Well, here is the latest in this ridiculous sad drama I let myself get drawn into. First of all, I'm not stupid and I do know better, but because shes so attractive, she causes my emotions to supersede my logic and I end up paying the price by having my feelings battered! Aren't there supposed to be laws against battery or something? Shouldn't I go down town and report it to someone. " What's the problem "? She keeps asking me for stuff and I keep giving it to her, then she treats me like shit!" Why don't you just refuse her ?" I would, but she's young, has green eyes. long blonde hair and a hot sexy ass! No man has the strength to resist that, I'll tell you what!
Well, she came back and we started seeing each other again. We hang out all day, I take her to lunch, we go places and sometimes she comes back to my place for dinner! I'll usually make something and she sets up the living room with candles and stuff and we watch a dvd together. Sounds nice doesn't it? But, were not a couple in the traditional sense. We don't have any physical interaction between us. That's kind of mutual. She doesn't seem really interested, but if I pressed her on it she might relent. But I don't really want to take things to that level, because it will only strengthen her hold on me and make an even bigger fool and asshole out of me than she's doing now already. To describe how it really is or feels, we're together, but were not. Outwardly, it looks like we're a couple, but between us were just friends or more accurately, acquaintances. Presently, we're not seeing each other, because I cut things off with her again! She's still trying to keep me in her social circle though. She called me up and then says it was by mistake and then says " fuck you '! You know, typical couple stuff. But here is the problem for why we're not getting along and why it will never work even if she wasn't trying to be a user bitch all the time. She's a Leo! I don't care if you believe in astrology of not, but every goddamn fucking Leo I've ever known it's the same damn shit! I actually told her, I've been through this before with another Leo, he was just a friend but it was a horrible experience I'm still dealing with the effects from to this day. In this case as that one, they both have this same sort of mind set or behavior and thinking. Besides being manipulative and controlling they both say and do cruel and mean things, and are totally oblivious to it. Unless you do or say the same thing back to them! Then its, "How could you be so insensitive and mean "? I even have the responses to me calling them on their bullshit in writing! With him it's a letter and hers is a text. They both reacted the same way, that's how obvious their behavior patterns and thinking is with them. I'll tell you the two things she did and finally broke it with me. First, I invited her to see a show with me, and she stood me up. That in and of itself, should have been a deal breaker. But, no, like an idiot, I go back to her and then she tells me this, " I met this cool guy and I'm thinking of asking him out, I want to start getting sexual again "! Now, before you say it. NO, she was not saying it to try to make me jealous to motivate me to get with her first. She was saying it like she was talking to one of her girlfriends about some guy she wants to date. When she said it, I felt like she just stuck a knife in my heart. I was so incensed I almost threw her out of the car, without stopping or slowing down! Then later she actually says this to me. First I'm not making this up, and I still can't believe she said this to my face. She says "I wish you were gay "! While this was going on, I was in the midst of buying a new bike for her. This was the situation. I have my cool mountain bike sitting in my living room of my house. I keep it there because since I've had fixed up, I don't want it getting shitted up again from being out in the shed. So, when she comes over, she sees it there and I guess she decided she wants one just like it. So, she actually owns several bicycles already. She has one sitting out on the porch of her house. I asked her if she wanted me to have it fixed up for her. She says, no, I don't like the handle bars or the tires. So I was taking her to get a new one when she says that shit to me about wanting to date another guy and wished I was gay. So what do you think I did? You're right, I bought her the bike she wanted because I'm an idiot and an asshole. And prior to her standing me up for the show. It was valentines day, so I bought her one of those cards that you press a button and it plays a song. I sent her flowers through FTD with a teddy bear and I gave her a heart shaped pendant necklace with a diamond in it. And then she stood me up for a show, like the next day. So, after I got her the bike, we spent the rest of the day together, and it was more of everything she wanted to do, and nothing I wanted. Like for instance, I wanted to stop at my place for dinner that night and she said " no "! She made me take her to Arby's and buy her dinner at the drive through window that she then consumed at home alone. After all, who the fuck am I except some asshole she just uses to buy her shit, right? After all of this, I finally woke up or realized what was going on. I don't know why it took so long, maybe I'm retarded or in love? So, when I dropped her off, I usually walk her to her door. She lives out in the woods, so there might be bears or something. And gives me a hug. This time I didn't move. She tried to hug me but I was unresponsive. So she says, " what did I do "? Like really, you don't even realize what you said to me? I didn't respond. She sent me a text thanking me for everything I gave her that day. But the next day, I figured it was going to be more of the same, and the day after that, and the day after that. I wouldn't have been surprised if wanted me to drive her and her new boyfriend on their date and pay for it too! Yeah, she doesn't have a car and either does he apparently! So, the next day, just like I figured, she calls me up first thing in the morning and wants me to take her some place. I told her " no " and hung up on her. She tried to call and text me of course but I ignored her. Then I sent her a nasty text telling her what I thought about her and her behavior. It was mean, but everything I said was the truth. And then she replies, telling me that "I'M" bipolar! So that's where were at. And no, I'm not going to relent or give in to her again. Unless she dramatically changes her behavior and attitude, I can't associate with her any longer. Of course, she likes and has gotten used to how I accommodate and spoil her all the time. So, she's not just going to roll over and forget about me. In case you're thinking, she can find someone else to do for her what I did? She can't! If she could she would have and wouldn't been hanging around me. The guys she knows may be younger and cooler, but they don't have the resources I do, and even if they did, they wouldn't share them with her. That's her predicament and situation. So, I'll be interested myself to see what she tries to come up with. I know she's going to try to keep running the same game on me, but there will come a point when she realizes it's not working. Then she'll probably give up and go back to what ever her life was like before she met me. And that's the name of that tune.

When you know she's no high climber then you find your only friend
In a room with your two timer, and you're sure you're near the end
Then you love a little wild one, and she brings you only sorrow
All the time you know she's smilin' you'll be on your knees tomorrow, yeah

You go back, Jack, do it again, wheel turinin' 'round and 'round
You go back, Jack, do it again



Well, here's the latest, yeah I went back with her. We hung out for a while then she pissed me off again and now were on the outs. Although she did call me today because she needed a ride. In my defense, she is young and hot and I am only human. I know better but she fools me into thinking everything is fine, when it clearly is not, and I always fall for it. But this time, it's a little bet more serious. Her boyfriend texted me last night from her phone. He wanted to know precisely what our relationship currently is with one another. I called her number and he picked up, he's a Spanish dude. I quickly hung up the phone. Now here are the facts relating to this situation. I was thinking today, " now I know what it would have been like, if I had gotten into a relationship with Erica at one time. This girl is a lot like Erica, besides they both have green eyes, she's close in age to what Erica was when I first met her here online. She's also very head strong and won't listen or do anything I tell her. She also has a few other things in common with her, I don't want to mention because I don't want to get into all that bullshit! Anyway, she's sitting right next to me, and I still can't get through to her, how would that have worked being on opposite coasts? Well, at least I was saved from that pain and suffering. Anyway, when she called me this morning to ask for the ride, I told her " Alex had texted me ". She replies, " so, text him back '! Once again totally oblivious to the reality of the situation. She doesn't mind if I get taken out by some drug dealing spic G who's trying to defend his girlfriends "honor"! Oh, I'm over reacting? Well, this just happened to a friend of mine, and not in 1982, it happened last week. He's Spanish too, and he was in this situation where he encountered this other Spanish couple. There was a woman, he says was " kinda hot " and her asshole boyfriend who was holding their young . The woman asked him a couple of questions and then all a sudden, the asshole started attacking him, no warning or anything. He kicked him and tried to bite him........while...........still holding their in his arms! I guess he figured he wouldn't hit him back that way. Anyway, he still fucked him up pretty good. He had to go to the hospital and missed a few days of work. See, that's how those fucking animals are! So even though the princess isn't concerned about her, ahem, "boyfriend" contacting me, I'll be taking steps to protect myself. First, she's not hanging with me anymore. I don't need to be the victim of a drive by. Next, I should probably buy a gun. Don't worry, I don't think it's illegal to shoot one of those mother fuckers, or not since DT has been sitting in the chair. Didn't he sign a decree saying all white people can have open season on minorities? Well, if he didn't he soon will, I'm sure.
Anyhoo, speaking of degenerate scum fucks, guess who popped up from the lower depths of hell? My Ex! Yeah, I was surprised as shit from shinola! I was surfing around on line, and guess what I saw? She has a teacher profile, with her actual picture on it, on her schools website. In case you're wondering why that's so significant? Ever since our divorce, she's kept an extremely low profile on line. No websites, facebook, twitter, nothing. There's a reason for that, and it's this. When we broke up, there was a lot of acrimony and ill will associated with the parting. For her, image is everything. And I implied...........okay I told her I was going to make sure everyone knew what she did someday if it was the last thing I do! And, unlike you, she actually knows me, and she knows I meant it. What so significant about the information? Well, she could lose her job for one thing. She signed a morals clause. I don't know how they would feel if it was publically known that one of their teachers attempted to murder her first husband and profit from it. At least I don't think that's good publicity? She'd also be shunned publically by all of her peers. She was working at another school when all the shit went down with me. The people that surround her now probably have no clue about her past. As for her page? It's the same bullshit about all of the places she's travelled to. She was a world traveler before she met me and she continued it the whole time we were together. I was a Rock Star at the time. Go to my you tube page "badnews008 " and check out the video " Rock God " if you want to see what we did during that period. One of the places she brags about, and yes, she loves to fucking " brag " about this shit. She mentioned she visited Turkey. Good, she's hanging out in the Mideast these days, I hope she gets kidnapped and beheaded! But what us more likely is she'll become their new leader! As soon as they talk to her they'll realize she possesses the qualities they're looking for. I know what you're thinking, she's a woman. Hey, she's tougher then most men, trust me on this one. I always used to say she's the her father never had. Anyway, when ever she pops up like this, I always get a premonition through a dream. I did get a mild one. She did pop up briefly in a dream I had prior to discovering her shit page. So, why is she letting her guard down now after all this time? I guess she feels enough time as gone by and I'm probably not holding a grudge? Boy, that psyche I saw really was correct when she told me," my wife didn't understand me"! Yes, I am still holding a fucking grudge and there will be hell to pay! I'll have to sort it out. Maybe she can get kidnapped by the Taliban and they'll make her wear a burka and her Arab husband will fuck through a hole in a sheet every night. Oh, she'll love that!
See, there is something to live for after all!

Addendum

Well, this situation keeps getting stranger and stranger! Here is the latest. As for me and the princess, we're still together but were not. This spic douche bad she's with seems to be just that. She still insists on staying with him, even though there is no logical reason, even by her illogical standards. From what I'm told, he lives with his family, has no job, collects a government check of about eight hundred dollars a month, oh, and he deals drugs on the side. Yeah, I can't figure why she would want to give that up either? But she's still trying to keep me in her social circle. I think you can figure out why! How usually goes is, we fight and argue and say we're not speaking to one another again. The last time she told me she's deleting my phone number. Then the next day, she'll call me for a ride, I'll say okay and go pick her up and were together again like nothing ever happened. I can't figure out how this keeps happening? I know what you're thinking, why don't I just ignore her? Well, she called me for a ride, she was at her grand mothers house, which happens to be a few doors down from my house. So, I really couldn't say no. See how she does this shit. But, not everything is kosher in paradise! Here is where things get interesting! We have mutual friends in the form of this couple. He's like a rough street dude and she's a little cutie. We'll call them B&J B is the guy and J the girl. Well I run into them once in a while and B is friends with the princesses spic drug dealer boyfriend. And they told me of an encounter they had with them recently. B&J remarked that they wanted to get something to eat, so the spic drug dealer friend offered to buy them dinner or something. I don't know exactly what was said, but I understand the princess made some cutting remark to her paramour, probably something along the lines of, " you don't have the money " or something like that. And he got so upset he told her to walk away or he was going to hit her. Now, for me, she says shit like that to me all the time, but it doesn't bother me because I'm cool as fuck and she knows it. But this guy isn't, and embarrassing him in front of his friends by implying he's a broke ass loser (which he is) is definitely not cool. And she could have gotten slugged too! LOL! So, when B&J told me about this episode, I took it in context and realized what the situation was. It's only a matter of time until she comes running back to me, telling me how abusive he's been to her. When we were together for the ride she was talking about getting her own apartment. I told her I'd rent her a room in my house. She said, " all you're rooms are full of your guitars "! Which they are, but I was thinking she could sleep on the couch or something. But anyway! I didn't think anything about this encounter with B&J until two days ago, J, the little cutie, calls me up for a ride. I pick her up and she has bags of her stuff. Apparently she and B broke up and she's moving back with her parents. While were riding together, she tells me how dismayed she is about the way the princess treats me and how she would " take better care of me"! I thought that was a nice sentiment, but didn't really give it much thought. Then she keeps going on and on about stuff. The next thing I know, she makes me pull over under a bridge and she's blowing me! Yeah, I still can't believe it myself. It was like something you see in a porno movie! She tells me how handsome she thinks I am and she's sucking my dick! I asked her if this was okay, because I didn't want her boyfriend to come after me. She insisted he'll never know. Now first of all, she's not a girl, she's more like a mature young woman! All the time I was talking to her, I never suspected she was like this, or would act like this. Not that there was anything wrong with it. It's just that with her personality and demeanor I totally was not expecting it. It kind of threw me for a loop. I'm looking down at her head bobbing up and down on my dick and I can't believe it! Not that I haven't had blow jobs from women like her before, but I guess I just wasn't thinking anything like this would happen between her and I, that's all. I wanted to fuck her, but because we were in the car loaded with all of her stuff we didn't have much room. So I just had her pull her jeans down and I ate her ass out. And let me tell you, I got a second shock. Her ass tasted good! I've eaten lots of girls asses before, but none of them ever tasted this good. It was one of those things, where it tasted as good as it looks! As if that wasn't enough. I then asked her if she did anal? She replied that she did! So, the next time we get together she's going to let me fuck her in the ass too! I know, it sounds like I'm making this shit up, doesn't it? Well, after things calmed down a bit, we talked and she kept winding her fingers around me and saying all these nice things about how much she liked me. I'm not adverse to any of it, but I am concerned about her boyfriend. I doubt they will be separated for long. She doesn't seem like the type that will say anything. But then, I didn't expect her to start devouring me like that either? So, we'll see I guess. Well, anyway, the princess called me up for that ride later that day. While she was sitting there in the same spot where J was, made me think of the contrast between the two. She's pretty smart with her woman's intuition thing. So, she says, " what's the matter with you "? I replied, " I had an interesting day "! LOL! Then before she got out of the car I said to her," you know something, I realized I prefer the company of a woman, to that of a little girl ". She just looked at me like I'm nuts and walks away. Well, that's the status of things. We'll see where they go from here, I guess?


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0 Comments
Brown sound
Posted:Oct 10, 2016 4:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2016 4:40 pm
18806 Views

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I am a victim of the science age, uh
A of the storm, whoa yes
I can't remember when I was your age
For me, it says no more, no more
Nobody rules these streets at night like me, the atomic punk
Whoa yeah, wow
I am the ruler of these nether worlds
The underground, whoa yes
On every wall and place my fearsome name is heard
Just look around, whoa yes
Nobody rules these streets at night like me, the atomic punk
Ooo, ahhh
I am the ruler of these nether worlds
The underground, oh, oh
On every wall and place my fearsome name is heard
Look around, whoa yeah
Nobody rules these streets at night like me, nobody, ah
The atomic punk


What I want to talk about is Eddies guitar tone or brown sound. It's not a big deal any longer because he's marketed the shit out of every aspect of his created original tone he invented way back at the beginning of his career. Now, you might think," so what, what does that have to do with me and my situation "? I'll tell you why. Because of what he did, it now affects all music and guitar players and a lot of stuff you listen to in your day to day affairs without even realizing it. But anyway, here is what set me off, and I'll tell you so you don't have to go through any unnecessary work and aggravation. I watched this video of this guy who accurately recreated Eddies original brown sound. I was impressed by all of the detail this guy put into it. He worked on every aspect of it from the guitar pick up to the amp head settings and the alterations including an actual variac voltage control unit installed on the Marshall plexi amp head. He also uses similar effects that Eddie used at the time to enhance his sound and performance. So, I was thinking about this, and I was going to go on line and buy all that stuff and put it together myself. Then I watched this guys video again, and I realized I didn't have to. Because I already have it! I have the guitar, the pickup, the amp, the effects and the alterations to the amplifier already built into it. You've seen it in my videos, like the Eruption you really got me video I have posted on my profile. This guy was going into all the details of the equipment. I'm familiar with it, because I've read about it for years and freaking years. All he's doing, to give you a metaphor you might relate to, is taking the a model T and trying to make a modern automobile out of it. You could do that of course, it would take a lot of work and designing to accomplish that. But, it would be a lost easier to just go out and buy a new fucking car! LOL! But, it's interesting from a tech geek stand point. But, the main reason you wouldn't want to do this, is because, the stuff that Eddie used in his early days was cobbled together from existing equipment at that time. He took it apart and put it back together to create a totally new sound! But, the stuff he used wasn't efficient. For instance, the variac voltage control on the marshall head. It used to blow the tubes up! He had to have several amps rigged up like that, just to get through one show. After one blew up, he'd switch over to the next one. That's not a good way to use your equipment. Also highly dangerous because it could cause fires and who knows what else.
Why Eddies did this was because he didn't want to use a distortion pedal. Because, he could get better sounds out of his guitar with a natural distortion of an overdriven amp. Today, all amps have a overdrive knob or gain to them. Back in Eddies time, they didn't. It's amazing now, that no one did what Eddie did, take it apart and screw around with all the different aspects that created the tone. He wasn't an engineer, but he knew what kind of sound he wanted and he worked on it until he achieved it. From the wire around the pick up magnets to the over driven tubes it created this monster sound. I don't have to rig up a bunch or stuff risking electrocution or death, every time I want to get a cool sound, because Eddie found some real engineers to create the sound for him. All I have to do, it turn on my 5150 amp. To get the overdriven tone, I just have to turn up the gain dial. The guitar I built, to be like Eddies original frankenstrat has a Frankenstein pick up, just like the one Eddie made for his first guitar. Then there are the effects. Eddie has marketed all of those too. The main one you need is just the MXR phaser! That gives it the classic sound he used on most of his songs. Yes, the flanger, and the chorus and the delay pedals were used too. So, today, you don't even have to go broke buying one of his amps. He created a pedal that gives you the tone no matter what amp you're using. So, for a few hundred bucks you have Eddies tone!
But as I was watching this video, I remembered, I used to do the exact same thing, for the same reason. I used to rig up my equipment to try to get cool sounds. But Eddie just did it on another level and went so far as to take everything apart, find out how it worked and then improve upon it. Now he promotes his own brand of equipment. And the stuff is good, it's better then anything else out there. Isn't that strange?

Addendum

I cut this post short because I was tired and wanted to do other things. But I forgot to mention something important. This guy I just described went and got all of the original equipment that Eddie used to create his tone and rigged it up the same way. It would be an intricate and labor intensive task for anyone to do it that way. That's probably why most people wouldn't do that. But there was another video I found, where someone tried to recreate Eddies tone, but he used strictly and computer program for the job. It's a program called AXE FX 2. You just go online or down load it somewhere and you can click on any amp or effect you can think of to create the tone. You can even tweak or adjust the settings for every things you're using to create the sound. That is a lot easier then searching online trying to find every gadget that Eddies used to create his sound. But instead of doing that, you could just do what I did, and buy his amp and guitars and effects and just play them. That would be the easiest and simplest way to get his tone. I know at one time, getting his sound was this big dark secret and people were desperate to find out what he was using. You can read the interviews from that era, the late seventies and early eighties. Eddie was lying his ass off, telling people he wasn't using anything special and that all the magic was in his fingers and playing style. That was partly true. He did even have a unique style of playing that needed to be mastered as well. But he did actually have a black box that gave his amp a unique tone. He had all this stuff rigged up, like the guy in the video showed you. The difference was how he was regulating the voltage on his amplifier then everyone else was doing. Which if you don't understand it. To get a distorted sound, most people would just use a distortion pedal and turn their amp up real loud. Eddie did the same thing, but from another area in the amp. He distorted the amp at the source in the form of the voltage regulator. Was it better? I don't know, but it did give the amp a unique tone and that's probably what he was trying to do. Create a sound no one else had so he would stand out more. He also had a different style of playing with the tapping thing he did. And when the Floyd rose tremolo unit was developed it created even more possibilities for creating new and unique sounds for the electric guitar. Since he has done this, the music world has never been the same. So I wanted to add this other bit of information in case someone wanted to get Eddies sound. You can also go online and get the settings preset for you to somewhere. And then just down load them onto your computer and run it into an amp. Also, another thing I want to add. Eddie has marketed every aspect of his tone and sound. You can go out and buy all his stuff and have it for yourself. But here is something you should be aware of. He plays stadiums and arenas with that shit. Unless you're doing the same thing, you don't need or want to use anything that powerful. That's why he markets the smaller combo amps. If you buy the big rig and two four twelve cabinets to blast in your basement or bedroom, you'll break all the windows in your house and shatter your ear drums! That's how powerful that stuff is. I see in the videos, some guys have all that stuff in their living rooms and it doesn't sound good. Because it was never meant to be used like that. So that's just another tip I thought I would share with you. You can ignore me, and go out and do everything I told you not to, but in the end, you'll see I was right all along.


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1 comment
Along comes Mary
Posted:Sep 19, 2016 5:02 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2016 4:50 pm
20840 Views

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Every time I think that I'm the only one who's lonely
Someone calls on me
And every now and then I spend my time in rhyme and verse
And curse those faults in me

And then along comes Mary
And does she want to give me kicks , and be my steady chick
And give me pick of memories
Or maybe rather gather tales of all the fails and tribulations
No one ever sees

When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

When vague desire is the fire in the eyes of chicks
Whose sickness is the games they play
And when the masquerade is played and neighbor folks make jokes
As who is most to blame today

And then along comes Mary
And does she want to set them free, and let them see reality
From where she got her name
And will they struggle much when told that such a tender touch as hers
Will make them not the same

When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

And when the morning of the warning's passed, the gassed
And flaccid are flung across the stars
The psychodramas and the traumas gone
The songs are left unsung and hung upon the scars

And then along comes Mary
And does she want to see the stains, the dead remains of all the pains
She left the night before
Or will their waking eyes reflect the lies, and make them
Realize their urgent cry for sight no more

When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch


Some weird shit has been happening lately so I thought I should mention it now in case something blows up later, I don't want you to be caught off guard and not have a clue. First of all, someone I know is making a movie, and they asked me to be in it. I don't know what the movie is about or what part I'll be playing yet. And yes, it's a real movie. This isn't something someone is running around with their cell phone shooting stuff and then plans to edit it together to try to make a film out of it. They have sets, props and a big budget. It will probably be in the Netflix catalog someday. Oh shit, I shouldn't tell you that because then you'll look for it and find out my real identity. Nah, you ain't that smart, so I'm not worried. Ordinarily, that would be the big news and I would write a giant post about it. But something else is in the works I think could have a greater impact on me and my life. I met this girl. We're not dating officially yet, and we haven't done anything sexually with one another. But this situation is evolving rapidly and I feel like I've known her a long time and she frightens me with how insightful she is about things. Usually, I'm the insightful one everybody is afraid of. That's why this situation troubles me so much. Well, I'll try to give you the details but it may sound strange and unbelievable! That's okay, because that's how I feel about it too. First of all, we have met before, but I don't think we knew one another at the time. A few years ago, we were working at the same place at the same time. But, there were so many other people there as well, we could have passed one anther everyday and not realized it. I don't remember her, but I could have met her and not remember. Usually, when I meet a girl, I approach her and start talking to her first. This time, she approached me, I was standing on the street talking to my friend, the one who gave me a ride to the who concert a few months ago. She came up to me like she was in distress. She told me she hurt her ankle and asked me to give her a ride "? Me, being a gentlemen, agreed of course and took her where she needed to go. Oh, by the way, did I mention she's young and hot! That may have influenced my chivalry intentions? When I first met her, I broke my own rule, of never under estimating someone. I know you dumb asses do that all the time and especially did it with me, and that's why you always get screwed blued and tattooed! But I try not to make that mistake. I said I try to, I didn't do it this time and I think I'm starting to regret it. I thought she was a poor street urchin and an air headed stupid bimbo. Boy was I ever wrong, she's just the opposite. She's smart and rich, the demeanor she showed to me when we first met was just an act. Probably to lure me in? Well, as we were driving along together, I talked to her. She seemed naïve at first, but I quickly changed my opinion because of some of the comments she made. I looked at her and realized, she was much smarter then she was letting on. So while we were talking she told me her phone wasn't turned on. I guess she couldn't afford the monthly plan or minutes. But she could still send texts. After I dropped her off at a friends place in town. I thought I would do her a favor and buy some minutes for her phone. Now, in case anyone gets the wrong idea. I wasn't doing this to curie favor with her. I could have done a lot of other things that would have been more effective if that was my intention. I do this sort of thing all the time for friends and girls I know, and I never get anything in return, not even the money back that they owed me. But, I thought she was cute and I'd do her a favor just to be nice. I know how important having your phone is, especially for a young girl with an active social life like she seemed to be. How she looks is, like a model or an actress. She actually resembles several famous girls in the movies, I can't think of any names right now, if one comes to me I'll tell you here. She has long brown blonde hair, a slim figure, kind of tall, not really, like average height but definitely not short. After I bought her the minutes, she was on the phone with the tech at a café using my phone to give them the information to get her phone turned back on. I looked at her and close up and she has the eyes nose and lips of a model. I've seen that look in magazines all the time. Anyway, I'm jumping the gun a little here. Before that happened. I texted her the next day after we met and told her I wanted to get her phone turned back on. What surprised me was how elated she was that I was doing this for her. I didn't think it was a big deal, I still don't. But like I said, for a girl like that, the phone is her life blood, so that's probably why. I asked her where she lived, so I could pick her up and take her to the phone store. She gave me an address, and I looked it up on the GPS. It was out in the country or in the middle of no where. I thought she was a poor inner city dweller. I get there, and it's a big spread out in the country. For me personally, every serious relationship I've ever had with girls, they always live with their rich parents out in the country somewhere. So as I'm going up the long ass drive way, I'm thinking, " well, here we go, Deja vue all over again ". That in itself would have been enough to impress me, but there was more. When I pulled up, I found myself in the middle of a drama she was having with her ex boyfriends Mother. Apparently, and I'm still sketchy on the details, he was doing drugs, or OD'd and the cops showed up, she hid in the closet. He took off and is now a fugitive, so now his Mom was there trying to find him and accusing her of hiding him. She screams at this bitch, " He's not here, he's not here "! And then goes into the house to put her shoes on because I pulled up. She was standing there barefoot and looking incredibly sexy, she's lucky I didn't jump out of the car, throw her to the ground, tear her panties off and start fucking her while I kissed her feet, right there in the drive way! That would have made an impression on her ex boyfriends Mother, I'll tell you what! But, I digress. So, then after the Princess goes to get shoes for her pretty feet, and believe me, she's a princess in every shape of the term. The irate Mother turns attention towards me! I'd only met this girl a day ago and this was the first time I was at her house. This woman starts giving me the third degree, asking me questions, like where her was? And taking down my license plate number. I tried to ignore her and not get drawn in to this bullshit situation. Then finally, the princess comes back, jumps in my car and we head off. With the irate Mother on our tail. I guess she figured we were going to where her was hiding from the po po?! Fortunately, my car had a big ass engine and I out ran her, eventually. We get to the phone store, and do the dew, and she gets her phone back on. On the way home she makes me stop at a road side stand so she can get some vegetables. This is something my wife used to make me do. I hadn't done it in so long I thought I'd forgotten about it. It brought back a flood of memories. So, then, she told me she needed money, because she's not working at the moment. So, I have some work I need done and no time to do it. So I gave the job to her. It involves painting and car parts, that's all I'm saying about it. She said she loves to paint, who'd a thunk that, right? And was happy to do the job for me! Okay, I told her about my videos and how I'm a musician. She hasn't seen any of me videos, because the internet on her phone isn't activated yet. Don't ask! But she's all up in my shit as if she has seen them already. We've been texting back and forth, and speaking, but I rather text her, because she un-nerves me with the things she says to me sometimes. It's like she knows things about me, or things she shouldn't know or have any idea about. I'm left wondering, " how does she know that "? Half the time. And it's not just because she's a woman. I know lots and lots of women, and none of them have the insight that she does about things. So, the other day, I stop by her place, after I texted her to make sure she was there, to see how the work was coming along,. I get there, and she texts me to " come on back ". Come on back? Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. It's a big elaborate thing with garages and stuff, so that's what I thought she meant. To go to the garage? Instead, I get to the back yard and there's this big gazeebo in the middle of it! I go towards it and the Princess pops out, wearing socks this time. She has this thing set up like a combination, party crash pad, bedroom and whatever else she's into place. It's got electricity too, because she has the tv on. I'm looking around and I tell her, " hey, this is really cool, I want to get one of these for my back yard too "! We talk a little, I tell her about this other troubadour I met and he gave me some idea's for a video and she could help me film it. Then she starts commenting on my videos about how they are just me. I look at her and say, " I thought you haven't seen any of them yet "? She says she hasn't, but is going by what I told her. See, that's what I mean by un nerving me with stuff. Either she's seen them and is lying, or she's incredibly insightful. I know she didn't view any of them, because the numbers on the views for the video's haven't changed, so that means she's figured it out all by herself. Which is worse, because I can't stand a woman I can't keep secrets from! Anyway, she still freaks me out. I'll add more later. I'm sure she'll do something noteworthy, very soon. This ones a trip, that's for sure!

Addendum

This bitch is driving me nuts! More on that topic in a minute. First of all, I have more information about the movie I'll be in. I talked to the producer again and here is what he told me. I'll be playing a snitch and there will be a scene where a bunch of guys will be chasing me down an alley. Wait, there's more, I asked him about the nature of the film and details about it's distribution. Turns out, it's not going to be a straight to DVD like I thought. It's actually going to be an IMAX movie! Yeah, can you believe it?! I'm not concerned about my part. DeNiro started in movies playing a junkie, and he's one of the biggest stars in the world now. So, like they say, there's no small parts only small actors. But, if the film blows up and I get more offers and become a movie star. One of the movies I would love to do a remake of is " Rollerball "! The original with James Caan! I know they did a remake already but that was a stupid piece of shit. This would be cool like the original! Plus, that movie has always haunted me for some odd reason. If I actually do get the chance to remake it and star in it, then I guess I'll know why, huh?! Okay back to my inamorata. I could tell you things about her like her life style and behavior, and you would think, because of those factors, is the cause and reason for the problems I'm having with her. Or, you might think because she's a party girl and the disparity of our ages would be the main reason. And, there was a time, when I was young and dumb and full of cum, that I would have agreed with you. But, with age, comes experience and wisdom. So, the real reason she's such a bain to me, is because she's a Leo! I used to think that astrology stuff was bullshit too, like I said, when I was young and stupid. But there really is some merit to it. Because every time I meet someone and get to know them, and then later find out their sign, I realize they follow their astrological chart or character to a T. Well, in this case, she told me early on, so I figured there would be problems and I was right. She doesn't realize it, but she's following the old Leo line of behavior perfectly. I could make a list, and then check off the stuff she's doing one by one. Every Leo I've ever met has been exactly the same! But here is the thing, she doesn't know, that I know this aspect about her, and I can do an end run around her to cut her off. But it still won't be easy. Like for instance, she calls me up last night and starts talking shit to me about some guy she's attracted to. I fly off the handle of course and then she comes back with " oh, I detect a hint of jealousy in you "! Which just enrages me even more! So, then, I realized, she's just yanking my chain and try to wind me up, so I cut her off and tell her to have a good evening and I hung up. This is the kind of shit that Leo's do, try to manipulate you emotionally so they can get control over you. You might think, all women do that. Yeah, but not like this. I've been played so many times by Leo's like that, I have tread marks all over me from it. She called me up again this morning, I guess to see if I would still speak to her after the bullshit she tried on me the day before. I was cordial to her, but I didn't give in or come running after her, like she expected me to. Besides, another thing she seems to fail to realize, is that I'm being pursued by other women just like her. Another one, I've only recently become aware of, is this black girl I know. She's not real black, I think one of her parents were white. But, she's very charming and extremely sexy! I've fucked my share of black women, don't get me wrong. I'll fuck any woman, if she's attractive enough. And the Dragon lady is still in the picture too! So, if this Leo, thinks she's just going to play games with me, and wrap me around her finger she's in for a big surprise. Because these other ones have designs on me too! Ideally, I would like to have a polygamy sort of situation, where we all live together in a big house or farm, and I just fuck a different wife every night! But, because society frowns on that type of situation, I guess I'll just have to stay single and fuck them individually like I've been doing. So, until the Leo engages her next plan of attack, I'll be watchful.

Addendum

I was going to write a whole other post, but since I got this one started....Anyhoo! You're probably wondering about what's new with my latest squeeze? Well, to put it succinctly, we were together in an intense relationship, but now were in limbo because she's gone away, for a while. I don't know when she'll be back, or if she'll be back? First of all, no, we haven't done the nasty, yet! It's not that either party isn't interested, it's just kind of complicated. She sends me mixed signals, and then I'm usually mad at her for something, so we go back and forth like that. In retrospect, I'm glad now that we didn't, because it would have just made the situation more complicated. And it's tricky enough so as it is. I'll just tell you snippets of scenes from a travesty, and you can make your own assumptions. I was driving her home one night, and I suggested she stop by and see my place. She invited me to her house so many times, I figured it would be the decent thing to do. I told her " I may have some of my sexual torture devices still laying out around the house ". She replied, " How do you know I wouldn't be interested in something like that "? I just looked at her! So, we get to my house, and she starts looking around at everything. She noted how over grown my front garden is. When we go inside, she continues to look around even more. My house is like a museum, I have all kinds of books, art, and music stuff all over the freaking place. It's also kind of a mess because I never clean anything. It's not that bad, or at least I don't think it is. She says " she wants to clean my house "! I tell her " no, I have it just the way I like it "! Then she goes to use the down stairs bathroom and starts screaming about the spiders! I tell her. " hey, leave those guys alone, they're my friends, and we have an arrangement with one another. I let them live here and they can have all the fly's they can catch in their webs "! She thinks I'm nuts of course! Then she really lays into me about cleaning up around here. I take her upstairs and show her some of my guitars and music equipment. She doesn't know what any of this stuff is, or what is does. So then I ask her if she wants to stay for dinner? She agrees. So I make shrimp, rice and vegetables. While I'm doing that, she clears off the coffee table in the living room and sets it up for dining. She finds a couple of candles and makes it really romantic. When the foods done, I ask her to dish it out while I go get my Monterey Pop festival blue ray dvd to watch while were eating. I wanted her to see the Mama's and the Papa's performance because she reminded me so much of Michelle Phillips! But first I put on the Associations performance of " Along comes Mary " the lyrics of which I have posted here. While she's serving the food I come into the kitchen and start singing the words to this song right to her face! LOL! We have dinner and it's very nice. In fact it's the nicest dinner I've had with someone in I don't know how long. She then suggests one of her songs " slipknot's vermillion ". I didn't get the symbolism of a dead girl being floated around by a strong breeze, but what ever. So, then I show her some of my videos. She hasn't seen any of them yet. She's impressed of course, but while were looking through the videos, she sees the one I made for Erica, called " the goddess ", that's just a montage of her pictures set to music. She asks me, " who's that "? I tell her, " it's a long story ". And change the subject. Incidentally, her personality is similar to Erica's too. I didn't tell her that of course. So, she finds a book to read, and were sitting on the bench on my porch. I'm rubbing her feet and she's smoking a joint! We talk some more and then I take her home. That was our big date. It was actually better then if I would have taken her to a show or something. Then, about a week later, I come home from work and find my entire front garden had been weeded out and landscaped. Yeah, her Mom has a landscaping business and they came in there and did it. They did a wonderful job! I told her how impressed I was and that she really didn't have to do that. I'm glad she couldn't get into my place, or she might have cleaned that bitch up too! But what about my friends the spiders? Well, that was the best part, after that we went back to arguing and fighting. She needs me, for some odd reason, and I'm attracted to her, because she's young and hot, duh! LOL! Now we're apart, and I don't know what will happen next? So, that's what's up for now.


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Something peculiar happened once
Posted:Aug 22, 2016 6:35 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2016 6:53 pm
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See it on television every day
Hear it on the radio
It ain't humid but it sure is hot
Down in Mexico
Boss man tryin' to tell me
Beginnin' of the end
Sayin' it'll bend me
Too late my friend
Riff raff
It's good for a laugh
Riff raff
Laugh yourself in half
Now I'm the kind of guy that keeps his big mouth shut
It don't bother me
Somebody kickin' me when I'm up
Leaves me in misery
I never shot nobody
Don't even carry a gun
I ain't doin' nothin' wrong
I'm just havin' fun
Riff raff
It's good for a laugh
Riff raff
Laugh yourself in half


I should just call this blog the "guitar chronicles "! LOL! Anyway, something happened once and I would like to share it. It's a very weird and strange event in my musical history with playing the guitar. My whole history with playing the guitar and becoming a musician is in and of itself very strange and bizarre. I've related in the past through various posts about how things evolved and came into being. Because my evolution into becoming a musician and guitarist wasn't a straight line, but a more round about almost didn't fucking happen kind of thing. When I think back to strange events like this, it makes all seem so surreal and strange. First of all, I wasn't a player or a musician for a long period in my life. I wanted to do it, but it seemed like one of those impossible things that most people just dream about, but never actually do. And for me, it was an impossible task, I still can't believe I actually did it. The part of me, that wasn't a musician, is still there, lurking around and it still holds sway over my mind and decisions. I'll give you an example. I'm currently practicing a few songs I may upload one of all of them someday as videos. They are all mother fuckers or extremely difficult to perform. I was going to tell you which ones they are, but then I realized that after reading this you might try to tackle them yourself. That would be a mistake because they are very difficult to perform and you could end up injuring yourself, or be left feeling inadequate because of you inability to reproduce them. Either way, I don't want to be responsible for making you feel worthless and a loser, you already have enough things in your life to remind you of that already.
Anyway, the one song has a killer solo you need to really rip on! I didn't think I could play that fast. I watched a video of someone else playing and thought it would be too intimidating to attempt. Then I watched one of my own videos and I realized, " oh yeah, I am that fucking fast "! I don't know why I still think I couldn't do it? It's that part of me that still resides in my psyche somewhere.
So.................to tell you this, I have to give you some background. This happened a very long time ago, in an era and technical age that was still very primitive and incomprehensible to many people today. There were no computers, or shall I say, the kinds that we have today. Yes, there were computers, I did know people that had them and they demonstrated them to me. But I assure you, you could not down load a picture of a woman blowing a donkey with one of them! That wasn't even a consideration at the time, believe it or not? I know that thought is totally inconceivable to you right now, not having that ability, and you're probably wondering how we survived without it? Barely, that's all I can say. Those computers were nothing but glorified automatic typewrites that you could play a lame, or very lame version of a video game on sometimes. We had phones, but once again, you couldn't take a picture of your junk and send it to someone with it. You could still do that, but you had to take photograph with a regular camera and mail it to them through the U.S. postal service. But you didn't even want to do that, because the clerk might ask you " if you had registered for the draft yet "? So, it was a very labor intensive and dangerous field to navigate. There still was television, and a new fangled feature called "cable " that was being introduced at the time. You could still watch television without any wires hooked up to it. You could receive a signal through the air that was picked up with an antenna. Kind of like watching videos on your phone today. Even saying something like that last statement, back then, was inconceivable at that time. If ever did say something like that, people thought you were bat shit, because you were! There was even color television. That had been around since the fifties, and a lot of people had them, but not everybody. We were one of the unfortunate ones that still watched tv through a black and white. For those that don't know what that means? It means we watched tv without any colors, except black and white. Also, you need to know, owning a television, was kind of like a luxury item. Like a Jacuzzi or a boat is today. You had three major purchases in your life at that time. Your house, your car, and your tv. Everything else was secondary. I have several TV's and flat screens for my computers in my house, just like everyone else in the world today. And they are all in color. If you would have told me that was possible back then, I would have told you, you were bat shit! And not to discount the point. If you owned, not one, or actually two color televisions back then? You were either extremely fucking wealthy, or the President! Yes really, I didn't know anyone who owned more then one color tv at that time. If you think I'm making that last part up, go watch tv shows or movies from that era. You won't see, even in a fucking movie, someone owning more then one color tv in their house! That's how rare and significant it was. Also, this was before the proliferation of the VCR too! Oh, now here is where we really endured a form of medieval torture! Oh, so you want to watch your favorite show? Well, to do that, you had to be sitting in front of you tv, of which you only owned one, and hoped someone else in the house didn't want to watch something else on one of the other, four to six channels at the same time. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, you only had about six choices of television stations to choose from! There was no HBO, or Showtime, or Starz, or ESPN, or the golf channel. You had the three major networks, ABC, NBC, CBS, and or PBS, and reruns of Gilligan's island on one of the three UHF frequencies available at the time. That was it! If that sounds like the dark ages to you now. Believe me, it was, and I knew it sucked even then! The only thing cool you could do with that medium, was go to the movies. At least you could see some nudity, and hear some profanity and not have to be subjected to commercials. I know today, that's not true, they bombard you with tv commercials at the movie theaters now days, but back then it was still the one place you still had some dignity. Today, of course, you can just use your phone, but back then it sucked donkey's even if you couldn't download a picture of a woman sucking a donkey. Kind of ironic, don't you think?
So. it was into this environment, a strange occurrence transpired in my musical history. It was like a back to the future moment. Or, something I do regularly today, without even giving it a second thought, but at the time, it was so weird and strange, I even noted how unusual it was at the time. I even discussed it with my friend Mike, who played bass and would sell me my very first electric guitar eventually. Oh, one more thing about television at that time I just remembered and want to note it. The programs were better. Not everything was of course, there has always been a bunch of crap on tv, and today it's worse then ever. But back then, the network shows were better. The stories and the concepts behind most of the shows was usually very good, or better then it is today. This is not something I imagined like a childhood fantasy. You can go back and watch those shows yourself and see they were better. I now realize why. Because there were so few outlets for television shows, and even fewer shows. The writers had to fight tooth and nail to get their stuff developed. Because the producers had so many good choices to choose from usually the most creative and original idea was made into a show. Today, it's just the opposite. There are so many channels that need content, they'll put any stupid crap on, just so they don't have dead air. And they have an even stupider audience who will sit there and soak up that shit. That's mainly why tv was better back then and sucks like a hoover today! Okay, back to my psyche phenomenon! I have told you, that Tesco del ray, or the piece of shit electric that Mike sold me, was my first real guitar, that's not really true. I had a piece of crap acoustic guitar before that I used to pretend to play. It didn't even have all the strings. But, I used to mess around with it, with fantasies of becoming a great rock star someday! Okay, that last part was a lie, I never envisioned myself as a musician in the future or any other time. I couldn't play, I didn't know anything, and there was no way for me to learn. I was surrounded by dolts, jackass's and loser scum fucks who would actually try to dissuade me from even thinking of becoming a musician. And I don't mean this was a passive thing. They would actually scream it in my face, " You suck, you suck, you'll never learn to play an instrument, and you're parents wanted to put you up for adoption "! At that was just from my music teacher. And yes, she really did say that kind of shit to me. People are such fucking assholes, and I thought the job of a teacher was to encourage students to follow their dreams, not demean them and destroy their ambitions, but I digress. But, as I've related many times in previous posts, there was actually one time, I had a premonition that I would become a great guitarist one day. I was watching a video of Van Halen's " Hot for Teacher " on tv some years later and a voice or thought came into my mind, it said, " and that's how you will play the guitar someday " Yes, really, and that's exactly what they said. Well, this event was almost as strange and bizarre as that one.
Now that I have given you enough background, here is what happened. I'm not making anything up, this is exactly what happened. Like I said, we only had a portable black and white tv. I was in high school, had no money, and a shitty, very shitty acoustic guitar to mess around on. I asked if I could take the tv into my room to watch it. This was unusual too, but things worked out so I was able to do that. I usually could not have the tv to myself like that. I know, this all sounds strange and unbelievable, but that's how things were in the dark ages of technology. I watched my show, then the new at eleven o clock. Then, at eleven thirty, the witching hour, it happened. I'm still stunned, to this day! I checked the tv guide and there was some movie scheduled to be on that channel at eleven thirty. I thought, " oh, okay, I'll watch that shit ". I don't remember what the movie was. Then, after the screen went dark, it lit up again, but not with a movie, but with an Elton John concert! And not a regular concert either! He had been touring with a full band for years prior to this show. On this tour, he decided to do it completely by himself or with just his voice and piano. So, if someone played another instrument, you could play along to the songs. Just like I do today with the backing tracks with certain instruments eliminated from the track while I fill in with it. Of course, I couldn't play along to the songs, because I hadn't yet mastered basic chords. But, I played along anyway as best I could and just made up shit. Which, incidentally again, something I do today when improvising a solo to a song, but I know what I'm doing now, and it actually sounds like music!
Well, there was one song that I really, really liked, " Saturday nights alright for fighting ". He finally did that one as an encore at the end of the program. As you might be aware, I covered that song in one of my videos. For me now, it's not a hard song to play, it's actually quite simple. I had always liked the song and intended to cover it in one of my videos someday. But, while I was playing it, at the time, when I was young and dumb and full of cum and didn't know shit about music or playing the guitar I did something very strange and bizarre. I actually got it right! To play the song, you have to use the two basic bar chord configurations. The top bar chord where you bar the entire set of strings with your first finger and put your other three finger on the two lower strings and the third string in the middle of the three frets you're covering with your hand. And the other bar chord where you drop down to the fifth fret and use just two fingers one fret apart or the first and third fret with your second finger barring at the fourth string and the rest of the strings on down. I hope I described that accurately enough for you to picture? In the song, you just keep alternating the two bar chord types in a descending pattern down the neck, or the eight, C, the sixth B flat, and the first F chords. I actually did that and got it right. I remember thinking, at the time, " wow, this actually sounds like the song, or I'm playing it correctly '. Of course I dismissed my own idea's as ridiculous and a figment of my own imagination. I wouldn't find out about it for sure until many years later when I actually learned to play. Then I remembered that night, and the whole strange episode, and I realized, I actually was playing it right! I remember this, and I'm still perplexed by it. How did I figure that out, and why during all the crazy shit I was doing on that out of tune, didn't even have all the strings piece of shit acoustic guitar, did I have a flash of brilliance and play my favorite song perfectly? And why did a concert, that was not even scheduled in the television magazine, come on, while I had the tv all to myself, in my room?
I even talked to Mike about it the next day at school, at lunch. We used to sit together there. He watched it too, and was as blown away as I was. That's how I know I wasn't dreaming it all. But, like the episode I would have while watching the Van Halen video, it was another bizarre incident! I'm still left wondering about it.

Next time, I'll tell you the story of how I predicted the rise of Nirvana and Kurt Cobain. Yes really, another weird thing that happened. I just don't know about this stuff sometimes.

Addendum

Okay, I'll tell you about how I predicted the rise and coming of Nirvana and Kurt Cobain specifically! Not only did I describe him and the band accurately, I even predicted when they would appear. Now to tell you this, I have to give you a little background. Don't worry, it won't be as involved and drawn out as the television shit. But, I could write a Harry Potter series of novels about this asshole I associated with at the time and about how fucked up and insane he was. By now you may be wondering, " how did you know about Nirvana and when they would break big, and if this person was such an incredible world class fucking asshole, why were you associating with him "? First, I had a knack for predicting trends in the music field at that time, and I by some weird fluke, I just got it right. Secondly, I didn't know this guy was a crazy psychopath. He seemed normal, some of the time. He also had all these cool friends and I thought that by associating with him, I would gain access to them. It worked somewhat, but ultimately, his ideas and behavior became intolerable to me and I had to stop associating with him. How I finally found out, that he was crazy or not normal, was by accident. He was always good at keeping up his front or façade and explaining away any discrepancies. For my part, I wasn't stupid or unaware of the situation. I knew something wasn't right, but could never quite put my finger on it, because he kept slipping back into a normal pattern after weirding out a few times. What finally happened that I realized he wasn't normal, is that we took a trip together, at my insistence, and there, he didn't have his regular standbys to hide behind. He was like a fish out of water, and didn't know how to act. So he went completely nuts! In retrospect, it seemed like I planned it that way, just to expose him. But, I swear, that was never my intention nor in my mind in any way at the time. Although, to this day, I'm sure he thinks it was. I know this because he wrote me a letter afterwards stating as much. This was before email. That too, exposed what a paranoid schizophrenic he was, among all the other mental illnesses he suffered from at the time. Up until the trip, I just thought he was a little off with some things. But after the behavior I witnessed there, I realized he was dangerous! How I deduced that, was by something he did. I totally understand acting like a dick to aggravate and antagonize someone else. But usually, when a normal person does that, they don't put themselves in mortal peril or danger, just to get back at someone their angry at the time. When I witnessed him, almost literally walking off a cliff just so he could get back at me, I knew he had a serious mental disorder. Oh, in case your wondering what transgression I perpetrated to incur his wrath? I didn't take him to the right restaurant he wanted to dine at for dinner! And because of that, he was going to kill himself just to teach me a lesson. Makes perfect sense, right?! Fortunately, I caught him, just in time, but not because of anything he did to alert me to his intentions. I knew how he was by then, and I had a premonition and acted on it. I brought him back from the brink, just in time, and we did eventually go to the place he wanted to eat. But I was sitting there across from him thinking, " Oh my God, this motherfucker is crazy "! I had another day and a half with him on the trip, and he pulled more fucked up shit the entire time culminating in him almost missing his flight back home. Once again, it was only because of my knowledge and experience that I was able to get him on the jet and into the friendly skies as quickly as possible. After that, I never associated with him again! I didn't know, at the time what I was dealing with, and have sorted it out over time by discussing it with various people. My assessment is that he was nuts, but could front that he was normal. I know what your thinking, " well, if that was me, I would have realized he was crazy sooner and got away from him ". No you wouldn't, in fact, you would have thought just the opposite. I know, because he fooled so many people like that. He's still doing it. But here is something I know that no one else does. If someday, they find a bunch of bodies buried in his basement. Everyone will be shocked and left wondering how it was possible he could be capable of such a thing? Except me, I had his number way back when he was young and hadn't done anything yet. Anyway, not only was he crazy, he was the most negative person you would ever meet. I know this too, because I've met all kinds of people and he was by far the worst. Now that I've given you some background, I'll explain how I predicted the rise of Nirvana and Kurt. I was always talking to this asshole and telling him things. Around this time, I was telling him things about the future, or what my plans were for my music career. The odd thing was, at the time, I didn't know if I was ever going to actually do any of the stuff I was mentioning. But it turned out, I actually did every single thing I told him I would! For me, it's another weird anomaly. Because at the time, if you would have heard me, you would have thought a hundred percent certain that I was just talking shit and would never do any of that stuff. But like the time I got it right playing along with Elton John, all the stuff I planned came to be realized. I still don't understand it. So, we were walking out of a day at an amusement park, to my car. And I just came out with my prediction for the next big phenomenon in the music business in the coming decade or the 90"s. We were still very much in the middle of the 80's when I said this. At the time, the hair metal craze was in full swing. You had a plethora of Rock God guitarist with long flowing locks playing metal at blistering speeds on the six string axe! There was no way, that I could predict, by what was going on at the time, a band like Nirvana would come along and revolutionize the music scene the way they did in the first year of the decade. I said, the next band or star that will come along will look like Jim Morrison, sing like Janis Joplin, and play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix! There was also one more additional element I neglected to mention. I could lie and say, " oh yeah I said that too ". But I didn't, only because I wasn't as conscience of it at the time. Although, I was aware of this characteristic that was vitally important to the mixture. You had to have the songwriting ability of John Lennon! If you are at all familiar with Nirvana and Kurt Cobain, you'll realize he fits all of those criteria! Through out his brief career, he flirted with the Doors music in concerts, talked about John Lennon a lot. Played an unusual unique style of guitar playing, left handed on Stratocasters like Jimi Hendrix used to do. And finally, yes, his singing style was similar to Janis Joplin's. Unfortunately, he had another flaw, of having a negative attitude that defined the bands character and ultimately destroyed him. It was like he had the same negativity in his personality that asshole I knew had, but in Kurt's case, it killed him. After I told that crazy dick head friend of mine this description, I then proclaimed, " They will take the world by storm and then suddenly, everyone will be wondering , what was that "! When I said those words, I didn't realize at the time, I was describing the brief meteoric trajectory of Nirvana's career culminating with Kurt's sudden death at his own hands. But, everything I said came true. I don't know why I said that, or where it came from. I just said it, and it turned out to be true eventually. The only other thing I would like to add to this, is that after I got away from this insane creep, and I started performing, the first performance I ever played in front of a live audience was a Nirvana song! There you have it, make of it what you will.

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