[COLOR red][/COLOR][I][/I]Looking for women who understand what I mean by "a confident sub". It's really not as counter-intuitive as it sounds. Not just every woman has the level of self-awareness, as well as self-confidence, to submit herself to someone. More importantly though, even above confidence, is the most crucial element of all, trust. The level of trust that is required is truly awesome, and certainly something that is not taken lightly. It can't be bargained for, it can't be bought. It must be freely given, freely accepted. Not just her trust in me, but my trust in her as well. Although it's a definite Dom/sub relationship, for me it becomes more of a partnership in many ways. Although it's incredibly satisfying, I'm not just talking about floggers, restraints,and, hot wax,etc..... It goes beyond sensation play. My particular "happy place" is more the psychological/emotional aspect. To explore the dark places in her mind that sometimes keep her awake, sometimes even frighten her. Weather it's because she still feels too inhibited to actually tell a partner,"this is what I want to try", "this is what turns me on", or simply because she hasn't had the opportunity to explore those thoughts and feelings. To lead her through those dark places, and see the look in her eyes at the other end is beyond satisfying. That is where my "happy place" lives. The true sub understands that pain, in all it's many forms, is simply the tool I use to help them get there. Perhaps it's this year, maybe this time of year, or just my peral good fortune that I've been able to meet so many truly dedicated women. Many have not started out as sub, per se, yet I'm continually fascinated how many times I hear someone say, "Wow, I didn't know I could do that", "I had no idea i would enjoy that so much", and my peral favorite, I didn't know pain could make me cum so much". Interesting animal, pain. It can make you barricade your door and hide inside forever, yet at the same time it can be quite liberating. To embrace it, welcome it, use it to set you free. Many times,(thankfully) a partner will choose to explore her darkness. The level of trust required for a woman to take that trip is truly awesome. The responsibility for accepting that level of trust from someone is equally powerful. At the moment, I am responsible for two beautiful, and wonderful subs. One has been in the lifestyle for many years and is without question one of the most amazing women I've ever known. As a sub she has very few peers. Her attitude and the quality of her service are priceless. One of the few women who can legitimately be called a "natural sub". The other is relatively new to the lifestyle. Spectacularly, not all that much experience does not equate to lack of enthusiasm. If attitude and enthusiasm were currency, they both would be independently wealthy, which makes training so much less problematic. I say I'm responsible for them, and in the real sense of the word, I am. My first job, my most important job, is to keep her safe. To assure her that, at all times, I have an iron-clad grip on self-control. There is never a question. ever. Ladies, if you're playing with someone and things go sideways, and he says to you,"I'm sorry, I just got carried away", or "You turn me on so much, I just lost control", you should run, and consider yourself lucky. If a man cannot control himself, how can he possibly hope to control the scene. He should not be out in public without supervision. No matter how far we go, no matter how intense it is, my first responsibility, above everything, is to keep you safe. If I expect you to open yourself up to me, totally, then it's my job to provide you an atmosphere of safety, that allows you to be comfortable, and confident enough to do so. I've been most fortunate to have had many responses, and I truly appreciate each and every one. However,this lifestyle is, admittedly, a bit left of center even for this site, which I feel calls for even more emphasis on discretion. So many people find themselves unable to indulge in their peral "twist" whatever it may be, simply because they just don't have the confidence that what they're hoping to enjoy will remain between the two,(or however many)of them. I also would like everyone who reads my profile to understand that even though this is my preferred lifestyle, the actual mechanics are not necessarily written in stone. Understandably, this is not everyone's cup of tea. I have no problem whatsoever completely enjoying a bit "less intense" playtime. It's not always leather and riding crops. (Now and then it's mayonnaise and rope)lol. No matter what it eventually turns out to be though, It's always Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Along with respect, and honesty, which, let's admit, without those, we shouldn't even be here.

My Ideal Person My ideal woman, obviously, is Bi. So many scenes will involve complete surrender, now and then to someone other than me, and yes, in those instances it will most definitely be another woman. I make no apologies. I'm very protective of my playmates. If you agree that every now and then, pain can be our friend, then you're already ahead of the game. Yes, of course, pain, as an instrument of punishment is an incredible turn on, but it is also a wonderful tool for instruction. This is what makes trust, and the sense of safety so important. My sub is wanting to stretch her wings just a bit and sample a bit of Dominance herself. Personally, I think it's brilliant, and I believe it's going to become something she will enjoy much more than she even thinks now. (girl's got mad skills)