Act NOW – Don’t Let this Opportunity Pass You By!!

I heard the other day that, for the first time ever in its history, the Awful House chain of breakfast restaurants is taking reservations. But only for one day – Saturday, February 14, aka Valentines Day. What a GREAT idea! I mean, who doesn’t have a romantic memory about something that occurred at an Awful House?

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I know I surely do!

I’m recalling events from a period of time when I was traveling to a moderate-sized town 400 miles or so southeast of here every other week for 2½ years. As luck would have it, the hotel I favored location-wise had a kick-ass bar that reminded me of the late 70s/early 80s-era, and was THE PLACE in town to find a hook-up. After a reasonable amount of sampling, I ended up in fairly steady situation with a lady I’ll call C. She was an experienced swinger and totally capable of having great sex without attaching any strings to it. We had our share of adventures. The pinnacle was probably the time C’s much younger live-in lesbian lover watched C and I have sex. It was fun of course, but as hard as we both tried, we couldn’t get her to join us. 😡

One year Halloween fell on a Saturday when I just happened to be there. (Normally my trips were a Tuesday through Thursday event.) When I got down to the bar I was surprised to see C quite moderately dressed in what appeared to be a hula girl outfit. When I said something to her about her reserved attire she lifted her dress slightly and started whipping around the 15 inch long, 5 inch diameter, dong she had hidden under her dress. 😂 But the real highlight of the evening was when C’s cousin A arrived. I’d seen that silver fox there once before but didn’t get a chance to talk to her. That night A was dressed like Cyndi Lauper and looked ESPECIALLY inviting.

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C picked up on my reaction and made big deal of introducing us to each other.

To bring this story back to my point about Awful Houses, after the bar closed a whole crowd of us went to the Awful House right across the street. l was seated across from A/Cyndi Lauper and next to C. C went outside to grab a smoke and then thought it would be hilarious to smack her big dong on the window next to our table. She rather freaked out the young man that was serving us with her actions. 🤣 While this was going on A mentioned that her fishnet pantyhose were becoming rather uncomfortable due to them pinching her crotch. I did the only gentlemanly thing to do. I asked the staff for a steak knife, reached up under A’s dress, and cut the crotch out of her pantyhose right there at the table. How could she not ADORE a gentleman that was willing to do that for her? 😀

A and I were quite a thing whenever I was in town after that. It lasted about a year until she decided to marry the guy she had been living with for years. Veteran swinger that C was, she had no issues resuming our situation right were we’d left off after A and I ended our fling. One thing that didn’t change through all of this was – we always went to the Awful House after the bar closed.

What “fond” memories do you have of the Awful House restaurant chain?
What the craziest thing you ever did in a restaurant?
What are your plans for Valentines Day?