A little concerned

Well, the past week was hectic... as I'm trying to adjust to my bible school schedule. I have to say, being retired from work force due to my freak work accident in June 2012, I only use my laptop mainly for youtube, FB and some reading online plus the occasional bingo on Netflix.

But now while in class, the youngsters were so PRO on their laptops or tablets while I struggled to just type in the blank on PDF. I don't even know how to do editing or insert notes into the PDF! Damn, I often get 'mental block' trying to be as fast as the Pastor lectures on. By the time I try to flip to my physical bible, the rest have used their phones or IT stuff to find the scriptures being told and move on to the next! The youngsters can switch between adding notes & inserting hand drawn illustrations on their IT stuff while I struggle to copy onto a notepad with pen... Haiz... I'm just a decade backwards with my old way of learning!

So after a week, I decided to go old schooled too. Instead of typing into the blanks, I rather print out the handouts... so I can write faster and add notes at the side or draw the illustration. It is easier on my aging eyes than keep staring on the screen. Plus it will b easier to flip the notes in paper for revision than keep scrolling through the pages in the laptop for me.

Last night I asked my engineer to help me trouble-shooting my old printer which I haven't used for ages. Fortunately, we still have ink that we brought a year ago... but my A4 white paper have brown with the humidity in SG weather and keep getting jammed while printing 4 modules of lessons which is about 60+ pages per module. Finally only last night about 9pm, we managed to get everything printed out for this coming week's lessons.

I have to say, it has been an exhausting week... because we have to stay back after classes ended at 1pm the past week for initiation addition briefing of extra ministry duties, fire safety around the school compound, altar call 'catching' training, foreign student pass holders need to stay back for their housing rules briefing, beware of scams knowledge, collection of more workbooks, etc.

And even after I reached home about 2.30-3pm, I have to deal with a bored Hubby who felt left out with little personal time for him. My elderly caregiver will be here for thrice a week from 2-4pm but I also need to deal with her emotional state as she's not coping well about her husband's infidelity and will keep ruminating on her issues and even crying to me. Actually, I am up to my eyeballs with a lot of studies to do... I really do not have the time for her to keep using me as her therapist even though I am a good listener. Even therapist don't meet client thrice a week like that!

It is very draining... because thrice a week, I also need to prepare about 4pm+ to get ready to leave the house by 4.50pm to get to my dialysis session which lasts from 5pm to 10.15pm and I only get home about 10.35pm or later. I'm so tired that I will skipped late dinner at times and go to bed till I wake up about 3am for my morning quiet time (prayer). And then I need to prepare breakfast for Hubby, do a bit of my bible school reading (the extra 500 pages of two resource books for reflective paper writing to be submitted in 3 weeks' time)

The two young Indian students allocated to stay in my home were helpful. They carried my electric wheelchair so we can go to school together. Only that as they're younger, it is normal that they are not morning persons... so can be a little tardy in leaving on time. But overall, they are able to follow simple house rules and I slowly teach them local laws like not making too much noise after 10.30pm, no loud talking on phone in public or playing music while traveling, that they need to use headset if they wish to listen to music. They also need to respect multicultural trend here where they don't play religion music in public either. Yes, we are in bible school but there's a time or place to do the right thing as SG is a very strict country on assembly without permit.

Most importantly, do not anyhow cross the road like they do in India, which can be very dangerous here if they do that. A lot of accidents in SG are caused by the little kids from their country where the kids ran away from their mothers and dash across the road and get knocked down!

So here I am, trying my best to be host and teach the young men... while still struggling with my own catching up on learning and still doing my caregiving duty to my stroke Hubby... I'm really not in the mood to handle my caregiver on her hubby's matters. She told me she will let her children know after their Muslim festival. Now it's a week past the festival, I hope she will keep to her words and reveal to her family instead of using me as her support for the past few months since she started as my caregiver.

I respected her as she could be my mum's age... but I'm really not her daughter and I shouldn't be made to be a substitute for what her children should be hearing from her directly. I felt my personal privacy being invaded where she cried to me in my master bedroom where my marriage with my Hubby is quite stable and loving now. I needed her to bath me but I do not like her negative vibes inside my master bedroom where it is meant for the intimacy and loving environment I have nurtured so hard for the past 30 years with my Hubby. Even he doesn't like her being emotional as she will have no heart to even do housekeeping much but keep wanting to talk about her marital problems with me. As a result, I don't even have personal time to rest after school but sat in the living hall to listen to her woes. This is not good for my own mental health either... Sigh... I need to put a stop somehow soon.

Then I also heard the news on the TARIFFS by USA TRUMP... even though my country is only 10% being imposed... I also know a lot more trouble ahead! Coz we mainly import stuff from other countries too and there might be a trade war coming! Being the only sole breadwinner struggling to keep everything afloat with just passive income from renting rooms to foreigners as both Hubby and I are both wheelchair bound with illnesses so we are unable to seek full time employment... this is getting a bit concerning! Especially hearing this from my own Prime Minister on the news.

Yes, I can understand Trump's wishes to protect the domestic trades in USA to survive against foreign competitions, but I think the USA citizens will also suffer to pay more when cheaper options are cut too, am I wrong? What is your views on this TARIFF matter? I too, also ordered a lot of stuff from China as it's cheaper than buying locally in my country. But I'm worried that with this TARIFF, the manufacturing from China will slows down, supplies get lesser and the price of essentials will go up too! And we also do not know how far the implications can go... especially we also ordered a lot of medicines/ drugs from USA as well for our health issues, etc.

Well, I can't worried too much... still have a lot of things on my mind to do. How about you, what are your thoughts on the TARIFFS?