I Never Complained About My Salad Again

It was a typical evening. I sat down to do my job watching television while my wife made supper. When she brought the dinner salad to me, I complained that it was to big.

She went back to the kitchen and wrote on a piece of paper, "Never make me a salad again," and posted it on the refrigerator. She came back and started to punch me. This got her sexually excited. Sex was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to stop my nose from bleeding.

She pulled me into the bedroom, removed her clothes, and told me to fuck her. Given the circumstances, I was having difficulty maintaining an erection. She pushed my limp erection out of her, grabbed my balls and squeezed them, causing me to squeal like a pig.

She finally let go of my balls, grabbed her vibrator, and went into the other room. I got a cold cloth and put it on my balls.

Later that evening she handed me a gigantic salad while I was nursing my balls. I said, "thank you."

True story with a little embellishment.