Failure as a femme fatal

But then again, according to the proper definition of femme fatal as a "disastrous woman" it suits me perfectly.

I'm feeling very low right now. I met someone wonderful for the first time tonight, someone from the site. Young, very attractive, sweet, sensual. We met for a drink, and eventually came back to my place. Everything was just so hot, so perfect, so passionate. Until he tried to fuck me.

Please understand I'm not trying to shame him in any way. I know that this is extremely common, especially when people are together for the first time, regardless of age or experience. I know because it happens to my potential partners a lot. Like really a lot. Age or experience seem to make no difference.

The thing is, this has only been a common occurrence the past few months I've been on the site. I only really remember this happening about three times previously in my life, and one of those times my partner and I were both really drunk. So I'm obviously thinking that it must be me. I feel so bad when it happens, I know it's embarrassing. I try to reassure my partner that it's nothing to be embarrassed about, at all. But they all go home. Only once has someone returned to see me again, and yes everything was fine the second time. All the others disappear, even though I tell them to please get in touch, and we can try again. And of course, it seems to happen mostly with the men I like the best.

I really hope the young man tonight contacts me again. A big reason I am writing this is hopefully he will see it. But he was so eager to leave, I'm not hopeful, and it breaks my heart.

Am I intimidating? I want to understand this. The common denominator is me. I wish I knew what it is. These have all been men who seem to be very into me.

I don't know. Maybe I should just quit trying.

MissMess feeling very blue xxx