Hello Seekers of Joy,
How are you today?
Do you want or need to feel important to someone?
Do you have someone that is important to you?
As friends have expressed loneliness both with and without a partner, I have pondered that it is NOT the presence of another human, so much as the feelings toward, or received from the partner.
Can humans live happily without these connections?
On this site, there are multiple coupled people where only one partner is seeking other people. There is often the honesty that their partner is not fulfilling one or more of their needs. How can one person truly fulfill ALL of your needs? Obviously the seeking person is not fully happy - are they content enough?
Why do they stay?
Does their partner still make them feel important?
Is it financially better to stay together than split?
This is my brain turning over and over the psychological aspects of relationships.
What we want versus what we get.
Do we want too much?
Do we get too little?
What is fair? Proper?
At a mature age, say 40 and over, what is fair for a person to expect from their partner?
Does it change when you reach your 50's?
And when you hit your 60's? 70's?
How is your relationship fulfilling your needs?
Have a wonderful day!!
xoxox
Pony
25
23 comments
I prefer to live alone than coupled with unfulfilling.
I can understand your position. The frustration of trying and never having your needs met is awful. It can be more contenting to be on your own.
Hugs!!
Life is complicated sometimes. After 40 years together, we know what the other needs without saying it out loud. I whine once in a while that he won't socialize like I do, or exercise, go hiking, travel, etc.. but I have to remember that he's a gentle giant, so quiet that I wonder what he's up to half the time. I also have to remember that we're completely opposite - I'm a crazy musician that won't stop doing crazy things. He deals with me.
I'm one who doesn't believe that only one person can fulfil all the needs of another. So far, that hasn't changed.
I agree with you. Maybe it is possible for some folks - for me I need a village
Hugs!!
Deep thoughts! I stay mostly for my lifestyle and financially. Am I happy? 60% happy....I love intimacy and sex....I don't get that. So my lifestyle makes up or replaces it. Without my lifestyle I'd be insane. So this is my escape from reality, I come here to fantasize and escape the reality.
The tension between what a person wants, what they need, and what they actually receive feels like one of the most universal parts of being human. It’s rare for anyone to have every need met by a single partner, but the awareness of that gap—and the way someone chooses to navigate it—says a great deal about their emotional maturity. Many people seem to wrestle with what “fair” or “enough” means, especially as those definitions shift across different stages of life.
Being human seems to be a constant struggle
Hugs!!
Deep thoughts today Pony! I lived alone for 18 years and was pretty contented. But I do very much enjoy having consistent affection from another human now.
There are some frustrations, like his mild hoarding tendencies (half of the garage and half of the basement are still full of his stuff, a year and a half after he moved in). But for me the equation is still in favor of staying together.
Good for you!! It's not easy being coupled up after years of solitary life. I am delighted that HWD is a keeper
Hugs!!
What's the saying? Something along of the lines of "cheaper to keep her"?
I understand. I know multiple couples that choose to be together because splitting puts them both into a financial struggle. As long as there is respect and kindness, it is good.
Hugs!!
I feel connection is a big part of life.. with that being said I think relationships change with time and often change to something u don't like but we live with it.. do we accept it all the time I would say no.that is why this site is here.. I came to believe a person needs more than one connection for intimacy. but very few people can honestly say it is greener on the other side of the fence..
The other side of the fence is just another shade of green. Not better or worse necessarily.
Hugs!!
Great questions you have asked of us today. And for me it's all about helping people as a volunteer ambassador, moderator and blogger its always been my pleasure to do things like contests on my blogs when we were able to give points away to others here. So that's the reason I stay now.
I hope you enjoy a warm and sexy hump day..
Hugs
T
You do amazing things here. I appreciate and enjoy your efforts.
Hugs!!
In my experience, I know what I want from relationships has changed over time which doesn't always mean I find what I'm looking for!
And this is why one person usually fails to meet all of our needs
Hugs!!
All are great questions. I think one is looking because all their needs are not being filled....Hugs
If only all our needs were simple and easy
Hugs!!
At 68 years old, my wife and I have re-entered the lifestyle in a different way, She had colon cancer and after radiation, she couldn't have sex without terrible pain due to scar tissue in her "lady parts". She knew I missed the play and sent me out to play again. Telling her all about my encounters after, So, in a way, we are both still enjoying the life.
Oh my, your poor wife. Does her doctor have any way to help her? I hope she heals enough to get past the pain.
It's nice that the two of you are finding ways to enjoy life and all it has to offer.
Hugs!
@PonyGirl1965 She has been working on stretching with toys. She's about ready to see a specialist. For now, our compromise is working, but I miss her as my playmate regardless!
You are So SWEET!! 😘😘
Thank you!! I can be sweet in between my salty days
Hugs!!