Warning - this probably won’t be a very sexy post. Consider it more in the realm of sex ed.
My FWB, Hard Workin' Dad and I have engaged in safer sex from the beginning. It’s important to both of us. I’ve always taken the stance that even in a monogamous relationship, condom use wasn’t going to stop until we’d been monogamous for six months, and then both re-tested to be sure of being negative for STI’s. It’s a notable fact that I have never actually reached the milestone of stopping using condoms with a partner, in the last 18 years of being single.
At any rate, HWD and I are not monogamous. I've only barely taken advantage of that thus far (you guys know my history over the last eight months or so of meeting people and having it not work out for various reasons). He’s taken advantage a few times. Bottom line, we’re still trying to have safer sex.
What does that look like for us? When I give oral sex to him, I do run my mouth up and down his shaft but I don’t take it into my mouth completely so as to avoid any pre-cum. If I do want to take his cock into my mouth completely, I put a condom on him. He’s still pretty responsive even wearing a condom.
When we’re having intercourse, obviously he puts on a condom. We actually have what I’d call “outercourse” more often - him grinding against my vulva, or me on top grinding on his cock. Sometimes I leave my underwear on and his cock is bare - sometimes I take my underwear off and he wears a condom.
But then there’s the matter of oral sex on me. It hasn’t happened a great deal. When it does, it’s me keeping my underwear on and him nuzzling me, for lack of a better term. Or sometimes the underwear comes off and he just uses fingers but no mouth.
Yeah, it’s not ideal. Luckily oral sex is not my most favorite thing. On top of that, I’m pretty self conscious about the appearance of my lady bits (see: Things we don’t talk about ). So keeping my underwear on has been mostly OK with me.
The other day in one of my periodic quests to spice things up, I started wondering about latex underwear. My initial thought was the shiny kinky kind. Excuse me while I go do an image search. Hm - very weird! Almost all of the shiny kinky underwear images are on men. OK - here you go.
No wait - here’s a lady:
However, what ALSO came up in my search was a newish brand of underwear that’s made from very thin latex - like what gets used in a condom. It provides as much protection as the dread dental dam, without having to be held in place, and supposedly the level of sensation is quite high.
So I ordered a four-pack. It’s much much cheaper than the thicker shiny kinky latex, but it’s also supposed to be single-use, so that probably makes it more expensive on a “per-wearing” basis. We’ll see…in terms of durability and sensation and how it feels under HWD’s mouth (gotta think it will feel better than cotton underpants, haha!).
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It would be interesting to see if the thin latex panties are durable enough to just put them on.
There are flavored lubes that help with the taste of condoms.
Japanese condoms don't have much of a taste, but one size fits small. It's a great torture device to put on a misbehaving dude with a hard-on 😂 My bubble bath buddy tried one on for shits and giggles and he was like, never again 😂 Oh, but if you rip the tip off, they make for great cock rings 😂
I did buy a flavored lube - not fond of the somewhat chemical taste. I should ask readers for recommendations.
I think any topic that interests you is an appropriate theme for blogs here. And the site confirms this- they'll deny any comment or post without regard for the subject matter.
Oh, I think this topic is totally appropriate. I just think there's a distinction between something being about sex, and it being sexy. 😊
Another “use case” for the underwear is for rimming…for those who might be a little squeamish about putting their mouth directly on someone’s butt lol.
Wow, amazing what you can get these days! Hope it works for you Smarty.
My main thought though, as I scrolled down the pictures, was on coming to the second one; "oh goodness, maybe I am gay! Wait, are you sure that's a man? Ah, no, phew Smarty says that's a woman, thank goodness! "
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, as Seinfeld fans will remember, but it wouldn't suit me, lol.
Sorry to knock you off base for a minute there, Dreamer. 😉
Sounds like a fun thing to try!
I'm doing it for.... SCIENCE! (and also for myself 😊 )
@smartasswoman And for some reason I hear Thomas Dolby playing in the background...
@CuriousHer 😁 I love that song!
Oh I am very interested in how these panties work out. Single use sounds like a hassle. I'm already wondering if you could gently hand wash them, LOL.
Hugs!!
Great minds think alike 😉
It would be nice if one could squeeze 2-3 uses out of them; that would bring the cost closer to a condom.
I'm amazed at the products you find! Looking forward to your "report"
Maybe I should be looking into being a social media influencer? (just imagining my sisters' mortification at me online hawking latex underwear 😂 )
Interesting read. I've been on the calculated risk side of things for oral but nearly always use condoms for intercourse but nothing for outercourse. I do get tested annually and if i was having less safe sex would increase that. I don't see how cotton underwear would provide any kind of safety factor once wet. Hmm...
That is a good point about the underwear. It doesn't get particularly wet because I'm not really producing lubrication at this menopausal point, and he isn't really licking, more just rubbing his face against me.
Looking forward to your report. The pictures look alluring, I hope you find them comfortable and durable.
Me too! I was curious about the fact that they're supposed to be one use, and watched a few of their videos on Youtube. The thinking is that since the material is so thin, it might easily tear or get a hole when taking off the panties. They compared it to not using a latex glove more than once. The thing is, I use latex gloves to apply hair dye and I definitely use them more than once. So...we'll see.
Good informative post.
Thank you. 😊
I can’t wait for the review, sounds interesting for sure
I figured it was worth a try. If they're a bust at least I'll be able to warn a few hundred people against wasting $25 on them, haha!
Damned if you do, damned if you don't! If the prevalence of STIs in the US is that high that almost everybody is a potential risk, then, unless you only have sex once a year, an annual STI check is almost worthless. You might have picked up an infection immediately prior to the test which is (then) undetectable, or from your next encounter - say the day after the test. It is analogous to the Covid testing - the best it says is that you were not infected when tested. (that said, I'm quadruply vaccinated).
I seem to remember hearing that sex workers in Vienna are obliged to have regular testing (consumer protection laws
) and apparently, they must be tested every week, according to the local net.
I think condom use (as you state it) is reasonable in a non-monogamous setting. I don't think it really works for oral sex, TBH. It is like anything, a calculated risk - you could get run over on your way back from the clinic with your "clean" bill of health in your hand and be instantly in a much worse state than any likely STI scenario.
It’s not ideal for oral sex, true. I’m going to be real interested in how these panties work out.
And in terms of usefulness of STI testing, I suppose it depends how many different people you’re having sex with, and how many people your partner(s) are having sex with.
I am a big believer of condom use with my play partners with the exemption several hotwifes whom are big in protected play with with thier other casual playpartners. I am the only one that is allowed to go bareback, we are long time fwbs.
I am tested a couple times per year. I am luck that the husbands do not have any others playpartners themselves.
As long as you trust that they really are using protection with everyone else….
(Probably a big part of the reason I haven’t stopped using condoms with anyone for years and years - I’m not the trusting type).
@smartasswoman ,it is a dual trust between them and I .
Please, report back
Will do. 😊
Generally after about the third date my partners and I have finished with "safER sex". But it sounds like you're having fun exploring it, so congrats.
I'm not going to get preachy about it, since I've taken calculated risks with oral sex in the past (see my response to hippiechick).
But are you saying you stop using condoms altogether after the third date? If so, what magically changes at that point?