I usually spend Christmas Eve and sometimes Christmas Day with my sister's family. And it's always been a lovely time. This year I hadn't heard from her yet, but I knew it wouldn't be a normal Christmas for them. Sis took a fall and broke her arm earlier this fall, and her husband had hip replacement surgery a week ago Friday. I chatted with HWD about it last weekend - he said, "Maybe you should volunteer to host?" Well, yeah. That would be the logical thing! But her family is very tradition-bound and I can't imagine them wanting to spend Christmas Eve at my non-Martha Stewart decorated house (I have a fake tree, gasp!). With a meal that might deviate from the same Xmas Eve menu that's been served for the past 25 years.
So, on Monday I texted her - "Just checking in to see what you're doing for Christmas, or maybe you're laying low?"
She replied that they would be getting together with their kids, but she still didn't know where yet. This would have been the logical time to volunteer to host, but then she went on to say "It's complicated. I'm not comfortable driving after dark and we don't know how many stairs hubby will be able to climb". I could have offered them an overnight stay if she didn't want to drive home in the dark, but...my guest room is up a flight of stairs, so...
So I hastily replied, "I figured things might be up in the air. I will make my own plans if any opportunities arise!".
I can't think of a good way to say this, but I always look forward to spending time with her and her family (I love both of her daughters and their husbands); whereas I think she invites me because I'm the sad single sister and not because she is particularly eager to see me.
I think I need to develop my own relationships with the nieces - maybe invite them over for dinner, not during the holidays.
So, HWD will be coming over sometime on Christmas Eve and staying over; I think Christmas Day he'll be with his kids. I contacted a couple of my non-observing friends (one Jewish, the other one with no family in town). One is coming over Christmas Eve afternoon and we'll do a little binge watching of The Gilded Age. Along with watching the series, recently I started listening to the associated podcast which is full of historical tidbits and goes into great detail about which of the characters were real people, and which real people the fictional characters are based on. L. is a history buff (and a Downton Abbey fan) so I figured she'd be into it.
The costumes are to die for. I believe this photo is from the "Easter parade" that opened season two.
And on Christmas Day there might be a movie with the other friend and her husband - if not, I'll be content to knit and watch movies at home.
Thursday night I went out to dinner with my dining-out Meetup group, and one of the ladies brought a chocolate goodie in a cute package for each of us. When I got home I placed it under my Christmas tree. It's the only thing there. This amuses me.
Wishing everyone whatever they hope to get from the holiday, whether it's family time, great food, or some peaceful relaxation.
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Thanks. My Christmas is solo this year. Two years ago I celebrated it with the widowed GF I had. It was not the best time since her husband who passed was fairly recent in years time and things were weird because he passed away days before Christmas.
The following Christmas I took a different approach with her and decided to take her to Florida from 12/21 thru 1/3 of this year. That relationship ended on 3/31, so this year...no tree, no decorations, no gifts and no eating at someone else's place.
It's the Christmas that wasn't day. Had them before. I raise an empty cup in honor of the faux holiday celebration. Here's to next years Christmas. May I spend it with my next and last woman in my life. Cheers!!
If a tree and decorations aren't important to you and Christmas is "just another day", that's fine. But if you enjoy holiday things, I hope you won't wait until you have a partner to partake. 🤗
For me it isn't about the holiday so much - I am not religious. I guess it's more of a pagan thing of needing to have some lights and cheer, and time with friends and family, during the dark cold time of year.
I fully endorse your toast and hope that the coming year brings you someone. Cheers!
Hang in there. Can be difficult being single. Believe in yourself
We aren’t even going to his moms till Tuesday because he has to work on Christmas.
I do so love the Gilded Age.
I’m having a low key Christmas too, so I’m happy
Gilded Age got rather bad reviews, but I don’t care, I really enjoy it. I’m rooting for Bertha, the social climber with giant balls of steel haha!
Enjoy your nice low key Christmas and I hope the back cooperates!
Today, I'm baking a cake to take to the office, may do some shopping and tomorrow, I'll be working. Might break open a bottle of wine when I get home. Such exciting Xmas plans. Not. LOL
Maybe I’ll break out some wine tomorrow since I don’t have to drive anywhere! 😁 Have a good one JN.
This year, at least one of my kids and I will be meeting friends for dinner at a great place in El Cajon. The husband is here for work, which happens every few years. They got me in the divorce...as they like to say. When my ex left, they stayed my friends, even though the husband was a navy buddy of my ex. Anyway, we don't do much here anymore. And the kids don't mind. Next time you are down this way, try Pomegranate...a Russian/Georgian restaurant. Killer food.
Have a wonderful holiday, Smarty.
Thanks for the tip! I do like spending a night in San Diego before visiting the spa in Mexico. 😊
Enjoy your dinner out and happy holidays to you and your kids!
Georgian food and meals amazingly delicious. Ate when visited their country. Pomegranate wine very nice. The zgeorgians drink almost all the wine they produce
Merry (non-traditional) Christmas lady. (A fake tree - gasp indeed!)
I'm the wrong one to give family relationship advice for sure. Just the other day my phone rang with a San Antonio number I didn't recognize. I haven't had family there for perhaps 15 years, so didn't answer. Then came the voicemail notification. Then TWO text messages. 1-Hey, it's "Josie". 2-"Margaret's" daughter ("Margaret" is my sister). I guess she thought I wouldn't figure it out. 😀
My fake tree feels a bit inadequate because my sister always has had a GIANT real tree, usually a Frasier Fir. That’s another thing that’s awkward this year - they downsized from their former, very large home to a smaller house. So there no longer is room for a giant tree in the new place - I’m guessing my sis might be feeling a bit wistful about that and not wanting to host.
Nice that “Josie” gave you a call. 😊 Have a merry Christmas!
And all the best Holiday and hope-filled wishes to you as well. 🎄🎅
Your tiny golden-cloaked gift sparkles and looks so delicate and pretty on that beautiful... and uncluttered crimson skirt. 🤗
It must know how to spell metaphor. 💕
Like the gift I'm solo - but I'm not alone! So there's that.
Merry Christmas, Paul.
We're staying home this year. The grandkids are off with other parents and I have some health issues that make travel a pain in the ass so we're making it a date night, just the two of us.
Merry Christmas to you and HWD.
So you probably relate a bit to my sister with the broken arm and her husband recovering from surgery!
Enjoy your date night and I wish for an improvement in your health situation in the new year. ❤️
@smartasswoman It's already looking promising. Thanks!
I didn't want to travel and have an issue an hour and a half away from home and I also didn't want to be a burden to my favorite stepdaughter or her most excellent husband.
Sad that family members struggling. Most of my family deceased. Others who shifted me out of money so no longer speak to them. Me and my family did so much for them that very painfull, even got their son into college as knew Dean of Admissions. One cousin and she just had knee replacement. Single most of life. Cooked own feast! Turkey, ham, dressing, creamed corn, green beans( with onions, sausage, red wine vinegar, butter, pepper). Had for some years been away from home in metro DC and my holidays away from family and friends was difficult. Moved back to Houstob parents 3 hours away and had tree decorated at apt. Houston then went home decorated family home. After mothers death kept holiday traditions alive for dad. When he died no longer decorating yet cook great feasts. Guided age interesting show. Enjoy it. Cheers.
Prior to pandemic use to send out 300 Christmas Cards/letters. Now don't do. Now about 20 people who send e mail or text message greetings
Good for you for cooking your own feast! I kept it pretty basic on Christmas Eve - lasagna (not homemade, purchased at Costco but it was quite good), salad, focaccia bread, and an apple tart for dessert. 😊
Hope u had a good day Smarty...i agree with others , connect with the nieces outside of their mom during non holiday times.
Ive always had a live tree since childhood...can't beat the smell....and can't beat the needles....lol. I also buy trees that are plantable when done. This yrs is a cutie, no taller than 2 feet....that ive decorated and will plant in a week or so. Ive got one in my childhood home that im considering submitting to NY for their holiday tree. That be so cool....
Oh, a plantable tree is a great idea! Seems like you wouldn't have QUITE as many needles with a live tree, although I'm sure there's still some needle drop.
I hope you had a nice holiday too, jajo. ❤️
I'll be doing whatever the opposite is of laying low... flying to Florida later today to spend a few days with the family. I bought the most awesome (to me!) tree this year, it's a wrought iron one with places for hundreds of ornaments! I'm not a fan of live trees due to the mess and artificial ones seem so.... fake lol. This is the perfect blend of art and holiday! Enjoy your holiday fesitivities!
Flying on Christmas Eve - you are brave! But then, maybe most of the people who are traveling got it done yesterday.
That wrought iron tree sounds spectacular. And no plastic waste! I'm trying to make my fake tree last as long as possible because I'm feeling advance guilt about it going into a landfill.
Merry Christmas Tickle!
Christmas 🎄 for me has become a time of remembrance and reflection. A traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings will be shared with my daughter.
Although yours won’t be with your sister and her family, it sounds like your days will be full.
Merry Christmas and cheers 🥂 to a happy, healthy and safe 2024.
It definitely isn't about gifts for me, and hasn't been for some time. I like your model of remembrance and reflection.
Cheers to you, sexldy!
Mine little different this year, having spent the first two weeks of December in the hospital. No family anymore, just lost my brother in October.
But we will have a meal on Christmas Day at the assisted living.
For me I pickled herring, smoked fish, summer sausage, cheese, peanut brittle, peppermint bark.
Is this sister that has a cabin in the woods?
Oh Diane, I'm sorry to hear that you were in the hospital - I hope you are better now. I'm also sorry that you lost your brother - that's hard.
Good memory! Yes, this is the sister who has a lake house in NW Wisconsin. But they are staying in the Twin Cities until her husband has recovered enough from his hip replacement surgery.
Thanks for sharing your story & hope everything works out and sorry to hear about your sister's broken arm. And hope your sister arm and her husband hip replacement mend fast. MC&HNY!
They're both doing well. Sis's accident was a couple of months ago and she's out of her sling now, but the arm is still stiff. Husband is doing great too - he was in terrible pain and now that's been fixed.
Merry Christmas!
@smartasswoman Thanks & good to hear.
I drove across the state to spend some time with cousins. Sunday I will drive across the state (with my kid and her hubby) to spend some time with my in-laws. Christmas day I will be recuperating from all that driving!
Merry Holidays, Smarty!
At least you have decent weather for driving? (I'm assuming, since it's currently 54 degrees where I am !! )
Enjoy your family time BJ, and Merry Christmas!
The last few years our "tradition" has been to have a few close friends come by for soup/finger foods open house style on Christmas eve and then go to midnight mass. The next morning is just the four us opening a few gifts. I didn't really win mom or wife of the year on gift buying this year... mostly practical stuff. We usually go to his sister's for lunch but she's been caring for hubs uncle in the last couple months and wasn't up to it so I found out earlier this week we'll have 16 people for a meal Monday. I made the menu as easy as possible but ugh... I'm ready for the holidays to be over already. My sister and her family will be here for a couple days later in the week but that will be pretty low key I think.
I'm glad HWD and your friends could come through for a good alternative celebration.
16 people! That would be a total stress bomb for me. 😬 I love your Christmas Eve tradition though. My family always went to Christmas Eve 11 pm service and then then we got home we were allowed to select ONE present to open before going to bed.
Have a merry Christmas CL - whatever you do, don't clean the house before your guests come - those 16 people are just going to make a mess anyway. 😉
@smartasswoman I never really clean my house for guests. Hubs is a bit of a neat freak and our house is usually presentable enough for guests. Sixteen tomorrow is kinda our bare minimum group... hubs and his two sisters plus all our children plus I think two niece/ nephew significant others and hubs bachelor uncle. All capable adults now except the uncle so much easier than used to be when the kids were all little (7 born between 2001-2005... was like herding cats when they were all toddlers). We don't do a gift exchange anymore which I'm grateful for. One less thing on the list.
I can understand how it can feel awkward about the tradition of time at your sister's for Christmas. Of course, you hosting is the first and oh so family solution until the facts get in the way. You hosting is just not gonna work as you well know. Still, not volunteering feels awkward.
I hope you have an enjoyable Holiday with friends. Diane and were at a Christmas dinner with my second Ex-wife and her wife plus a very good lesbian friend to all of us. The five of us think of each other as adopted family. D and I will be going out to dinner Christmas Eve with her sister and her partner so more family. Either tomorrow night or the next D and I hope to actually spend the night together in the same bed. Finally!
A very Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Hugs!
You understand completely and thank you for that. 😊
Wishing you and Diane a most merry Christmas - in bed! Haha.
@smartasswoman Thank You. That sling and its reason certainly ran some effective interference.