HWD and I had an interesting session last weekend which I haven't had a chance to write about.
First of all, PIV or any other form of vigorous sexual activity like outercourse was out, because of my still-healing groin incisions.
You might recall that I've tied up HWD and tickled and teased him a couple of times, and that after the last one, I said it would be my turn next time. So he asked if I would show him how to tie me up. It became kind of a collaborative effort - first we looked at a rope book I bought recently, by the Knotty Boys, and decided to try a cat's paw knot to go around wrists and ankles. Super easy! Even I can get it right the first time and remember it next time!
So he tried doing those on my ankles (using one rope for both) and then he had to figure out how to secure the rope around the bed legs. He came up with an idea how to do that, but I couldn't really see what he was doing...seeing as I was tied down and what he was doing was kind of underneath the bed. I had a different idea, so we changed places. Once he was the one being restrained, the focus shifted to how to get the restraints really tight. That's a big part of the kink for him - being very tightly restrained. Whereas for me, it's not all that important. Just being restrained enough that I'm not going anywhere, and having to give up control to the other person, is more what it's about for me.
So, we kept working on it and eventually he said, "I'm sorry, am I topping from the bottom too much?". And I said, "Wellllll yeah this started out as 'will you show me how to tie you up' and now it seems to have morphed into 'how tightly can we get HWD restrained?'"
So we switched places again and he practiced tying me again. He got it to the point where I was tied up quite tightly. HWD: "Hmmm I have you all tied up, what are we going to do now?" But...as previously noted I was on restrictions, and on top of that I was fully dressed and wearing a thick fleecy hoodie. 😂 He tried to pull down my sweatpants, but given that I couldn't help him, couldn't even really lift my hips up, that wasn't happening.
Instead he scrunched up my hoodie and my sport bra so that they were above my breasts, and started going after my bare torso with kisses and nibbles. Eventually he took his pants off, straddled my chest, and started teasing me with his cock. He'd get close, and I'd lift my head to take it in my mouth, and he'd pull away. I was able to get some little licks in, but that was about it. Eventually he did move forward enough for me to get it in my mouth and then he would almost immediately pull it away. At one point I was frustrated and just said "FINE if you don't want me to have it, I'm not going to try to get it" and dropped my head back on the pillow. I never was any good at playing the role of the groveling submissive, haha.
Then he started to leave the room. Me: "Where are you going?" Him: "To get some ice". Me: "Oh NO NO NO, that's not happening. Seriously, hard limit at this time of year". @ULikeOral1971, remember when I commented on one of your posts that ice play is a hard limit for me in January? I never dreamed I would be invoking it so soon.
Thankfully, he listened to me. He came back and there were more rounds of tease and denial alternating with him attacking my nipples. He would deliver a combined nip/kiss and pull off with a sound effect. My nipples can be sensitive so it's a pretty short trip from "this is fun" to "this is fucking annoying and I don't like it". I was pulling at the arm ropes in frustration, also panting and making some frustration grunts, and he just kept going. Me: No. NO. NO!!!! STOP. STOP IT!! He kept going. Finally I had to call RED. He stopped and I got a nice cuddle.
So, getting introspective about it...it had been quite a long time since I was the "bottom" and in a situation where I didn't have control. I mean, friends will occasionally flog me at a party but it's more of a situation of them "service topping" me and as soon as I say we're done, we're done. Usually I'm the one topping. So I had kind of forgotten how there can be some intensely unpleasant moments. 😬
It's hard to explain, but there's something about the intensity of that, that makes it similar to a sexual experience. I mean, the way I was panting was pretty similar to how I would have been breathing if I was highly aroused. And then the relief of having it stop and getting to be cuddled... Anyway, I know a lot of people don't "get" it, and I don't really expect you to. 😊
Unrelated picture that I saw on Fetlife - I thought this was hot.
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17 comments
Not my thing but always interesting to read.
For a long time, I had a fear of being restrained or contained. In time, through the development of a trusted and supportive environment, I began to experiment. Initially, it was handcuffs, then added a blindfold and ultimately having my wrists and ankles secured in various stages of undress. An assortment of toys and implements were introduced, evoking a variety of responses and orgasms. It was never painful, but there was a fine line bordering the heights of ultimate pleasure and uncertainty if the intensity was tolerable. Perhaps that trust will be established again.
You're right, there definitely can be a fine line with intensity. How lucky you were to have someone you felt that level of trust with.
Its great you found something of pleasure while ur lady parts are out of biz. Our minds are a wonderful thing, to be able to pivot such as that. Now there is a new something in ur bag of tricks ~
We were just talking last night that pleasure doesn't always have to be about orgasms or erections. 😊
That's a handy knot for sure.
When I'm being restrained it doesn't need to be all that tight. It's not like I'm really interested in going anywhere!
Exactly!!
I love to be restrained, though not tightly. And I don't like being annoyed. I'm a spoilsport, LOL.
Yes, as I was writing this post I was thinking about calling myself a poor sport haha! I don't have a lot of patience for tease and denial games, so from that standpoint I'm probably not very fun to play with.
I love the photo.
I get it, I really do. But the idea of being restrained in any way just gives me the willies. No, I've never tried it and won't- voluntarily.
Kinksters often say, "Something that's a "hell no" when you first get involved in kink often becomes a "hell yes" with enough time." But it's good that you know yourself that way!
I hadn't heard the term "service topping" before but I immediately knew what it meant. It's all so very interesting to me, but I can't imagine being with a partner who would WANT to be dominant... in all my years, that's never happened. Maybe because I'm a dominant personality and tend to meet men who are "gowiththeflow" I dunno. But I can totally see where that mirrors a sexual experience.
One of my very first bdsm experiences was with someone who was trying out being dominant; I didn't care for it very much. Most of the time I prefer more of a light, playful vibe. Although in the past, there was a role-play scene that got rather intense that I still remember vividly.
Looks like you guys find ways to have fun while you're in recovery
He's been pretty creative all along. We had a couple of virtual dates when I had covid.
I may not "get" it but at least you had some fun during your restricted time!
That's been one of the good things about bdsm for me, that I'm able to have body experiences (for lack of a better term) even when I don't have a sex partner (or my sexy parts are out of commission).
I honestly don't "get" it 100% either... even though the wife and I dabble with restraints from time to time. That said, this story was very informative and brought me a little closer to understanding the different dynamics within the bdsm community. Thank you for sharing!
My dynamic with him is a fairly light one in bdsm terms. He actually surprised me quite a bit that night! 😉
I totally get it. I’m more a dominant partner generally, I struggle with giving up control but when I do…the tension and release is almost sexual.
Glad y’all had fun
Tension and release is a great way to describe it. I'm glad at least one person gets it. 😊
Apparently any kind of video involving bondage is considered "age restricted" and therefore can't be embedded outside of YouTube. 🤷🏻♀️ Let's try this one. Just imagine the loops going over the hook being larger, big enough to go over a wrist or ankle.