I came across this artist a couple of days ago and was thinking maybe this is the kind of content I look at for the next couple of months. This, and pictures of cute dogs on The Dogist. And the New York Times had an article today about an elephant who can use a hose to clean herself off.
Not much new here. On Thursday I finally met HWD's ex. We had coffee for an hour. She has not been willing for their younger daughter to stay over at our place without meeting me and sussing me out first. HWD said she didn't think that our relationship was a good role model for the daughters. I'm guessing that when we first started seeing each other, he minimized the relationship to her so as not to get her radar up. He probably said that I was just a FWB, which was accurate at the time.
As I said to her - most people when they are first dating aren't forming a "committed relationship"; they're getting to know each other and evaluating whether it has potential for something longer term.
The reason she is finally willing to consider letting younger daughter stay here - she and the two daughters are off on a long international trip at the end of the month. Younger daughter will be returning in early January, before the other two (she needs to get back to school! IMO it's kind of crazy to take an 11th grader out of school for a month to go travel). The plan is for daughter #2 to stay with her grandma, but obviously it would make things easier for both HWD and grandma if she could stay here at least a couple of nights a week.
Anyway, the conversation started out kind of tense and the ex was trying to stir up shit - turning to HWD and saying to him, "Are you being honest with her?" Showing fake concern for me while trying to sow doubt.
Later on things seemed to shift. We got to talking about travel - I said that after I first retired my goal was to travel as much as possible, but that my attitude had changed. She asked why, and I told her about the carbon footprint worksheet I completed that showed my flight to Italy used more energy than I use in an entire year for my home and car. She cringed and said "I know! I know" and put her hands on her head.
She also seemed impressed when I told her a bit about my work history, since apparently daughter #2 has expressed some interest in finance.
So...it looks like it will be OK. We'll see if she changes her mind in January.
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Ok two of the pics disappeared, I guess because they had artists name. I will crop and try to put in comments.
True... his art is very relaxing. 🤗💕
Photo 2
Sounds like an interesting vibe, AND... you'll get to play "Mother" for a while. Are you googling a game plan, or do you think a fridge full of Jello pops will do the trick? Will your name include "Aunty" before they speak with you?
Do you know how to make Rice Krispie treats? Just a thought... 🤗💕
When I met my Ex's NEW beaux, it didn't go well. I couldn't believe she'd be attracted to such an a ** hole. Or perhaps she always has been. 😲😂
My girls encouraged me to seek a companion. I don't think they meant getting on THIS space. 😶
I assured the ex that I wasn't going to try to become second mom. Nor try to be her "pal" (ex is already concerned that HWD takes the pal role and leaves her to be the parent). Not sure where that leaves me, haha. Guess I will just try to be a supportive adult presence.
LOL at the attraction to assholes. Heehee. I have to think it's pretty rare to like an ex's new BF or GF?
You're laughing? Uhmm... yeah.😲
I got along with one of them, but that's a story I shouldn't share.
I can just see it now... 🤗
The aroma of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies wafting through your brightly lit kitchen as you entice the kidZ with cold milk and a cheerful shout, "Aunt Smarty has a surprise for y'all."
A bowl of apples on the table to balance things out.ðŸŽ
BTW... wipe the history from ALL your devices.😶
@Paulxx001 OMG good tip about devices. I guess I'll need to change my iMac so it requires my password to be entered after it wakes up. And close out some of those tabs that I just tend to leave open on my browser.
@smartasswoman
I close some of mine (at least this one), just in case.
Prone... and then they click on the PC to find...
There are usually a couple of intelligent sites willing to prove I wasn't totally shallow. I wonder if it will work. ðŸ˜
I'm not sure about art taking over forests, even if the material used are all natural. I prefer to see nature in its natural form.
Yes, I understand that, I have similar feelings about the rock cairns that people will make. His leaf designs are a little more ephemeral at least.
Thank you for the peaceful content Smarty. Im still reeling but after the fact.....i understand ..kinda. Still uncomfortable though. These tree designs are gorgeous..i see sweater patterns in them. I also think the ex will approve , its always in the best interest of the fam if everyone handles things adult like. Besides now her daughter can be a spy....lol.
Oooooo I didn’t think about the spying part - you’re right!
Those are quite beautiful. I love the impermanence of certain types of art
Hope things work out well with that in the coming months. I was able to get out of town and into the country this weekend. After the past couple months and the past week it was such a relief to let it go for a while.
Thanks. A little getaway would definitely be nice.
Seems you aren't the home wrecking slut she was expecting.
But srsly, it sounds like a positive first meeting and hopefully things will go smoothly down the line! (fingers crossed!)
Yes, I think she was kind of knocked back when I mentioned one of the positions that I held back in my working life, ha! She seems similar to HWD in that she gives off a bit of a hippie vagabond vibe. I'm sure she never expected that he would get involved with someone "straight".
I dislike people who want to stir crap up for no good reason. I guess they are insecure. Or just jerks. Hopefully she is kind to you now that she has met you.
Hugs!!
I understand why she's angry at him. I haven't heard all of the details of what went wrong with their relationship, but I'm guessing he cheated on her. In our case he's been open and honest from the beginning about the fact that he's bi and has occasional hook-ups with men. I don't feel threatened by that as long as he keeps me in the loop.
But...yeah. There is always the possibility he's not being honest with me. As I told him afterward, he's not around much and doesn't report on what he's doing all of the time, so all I can do is trust. Trust comes hard with me.
Love the art. I am glad that your encounter with HWDs ex didn't turn into a knockout/drag out fight.
The coffee shop was a perfect setting actually. There was a folk musician playing and he drowned us out so that the other patrons didn't have to listen to our slightly edgy/testy tones, heehee.
Good
Interesting art.
And here you thought those high pressure interviews were a thing of the past when you retired! Congrats on passing...Round 1? 🤣
Is she a youngster (like HWD) too? Or does HWD favor the more mature ones in general?
I asked HWD if she later came up with follow-up questions about me, he said not so far. My guess would be that she’s similar age to him, maybe a bit younger.
A very thought-provoking post. Are you happy for HWD's daughter staying with you now you've passed the test?
I certainly would like to get to know her better - we’ve only met once, briefly.
And I know it has the potential to make life way easier for HWD. His ex lives 25 miles away from us. Right now, because of the prohibition on his daughter being at my house, on some evenings he spends time with his daughter at his ex’s house, helping with homework or whatever; drives 25 miles home to my place to sleep, then has to drive 25 miles out there again in the morning to take her to school. It’s kinda nuts.
@smartasswoman But what a great dad he is to do all of that. Not all men would step up to be sure and be there for their kids in such a circumstance. I'm liking this HWD!
I'm in agreement generally that younger children should not meet a partner unless the relationship is a keeper. However, that relaxes as the kids age. My kids have met my new guy...first one I've ever brought home, and it's only been 2 months. But at 21 & 23...they understand more of how relationships work...certainly more than I might have at that age mostly because of the internet. I should retract...one of my daughters has met T; the other chose to stay in her room, which I had told her was okay too. I had given them that option but wanted their permission to bring him to the house. 11th grade is a bit still kinda on the young side, but you've been with HWD for awhile and if nothing else are a friend. And it sounds like HWD wouldn't expose his kids to anything that would cause a negative impact. I hope it works out.
@MyNameIsKay thanks Kay. 😊. Yes, he’s a good dad! And I do understand her concern about not having partners coming and going through her daughter’s lives. Although it’s a bit of a double standard since they’ve met her boyfriend and he’s around her home a lot.
@smartasswoman Now that's interesting... that is a double-standard. What a total b****...