Several other writings have talked about “luck” not being random; how effort and preparation tie into it. But what some call privilege could also be called luck - I didn’t have any control over the following factors:
I was lucky to be born into a white upper middle class family.
I was lucky to be gifted with a good head for traditional school skills; reading, writing, and math.
I was lucky to have parents who saved in order to pay my college tuition - no debt hanging over my head when I graduated.
Yes, I also was diligent in school and worked hard during my career. But I would never presume to tell someone who didn’t have the same advantages as me that they just need to “pull up their boot straps”.
It just occurred to me that I tend to attribute any good fortune to luck (see above) but when I experience something unlucky (say my not so stellar love life) I tend to blame myself. Perhaps I need to give myself the same grace on both sides.
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I was lucky to date Jennifer H0lt one fun summer. We did a lot of roller blading around the lakes. But then I moved to Chicago and she moved to CA.
Thanks for the blast from the past!
My, that WAS lucky.
I do believe in Luck and part of that luck is who you are born to. I will certainly agree that hard work, talent and skill are needed to succeed but that only lets you take advantage of the lucky break when it comes along. I suspect that your attributing Luck for when you have good fortune is not the norm for the very highly successful. While I think luck is needed for success one must also be prepared to take advantage of the lucky break. I firmly believe there are not "Self-made Men or Women" Yes they may have had to work hard but they also needed the break of birth or just running into the right person at the right time.
Sending you big hugs and may you learn to take better advantage when love sends you some luck.
You have it exactly right, I've definitely had some lucky breaks along the way. I was just thinking about when I ran for student government when I was in college ... it's not like I really campaigned, aside from putting up some signs around campus. My roommates and I concluded that I have the kind of name that makes me sound dignified and trustworthy. 😂 Thanks again, mom and dad!
Despite my lack of a pedigree (college degree, since work experience means jack shit here), I'm lucky to have a job that pays the bills.
I think the further away you are from young adulthood, the less a college degree means and the more work experience counts.
@smartasswoman
Not in the Land of the Rising Sun. They’ll choose a less experienced person with a degree over someone with more experience but no degree.
It's hard not to blame yourself especially when you depend on yourself for so much. But you do have to give yourself a break once in awhile. Also if you find love even fir a shirt while you get to take credit for that as well 😘
That's true, Dan Savage often says that we shouldn't be down on short term relationships, they often serve a purpose during a particular time.
@smartasswoman a very good point
@smartasswoman One of my short term relationships was while after my first divorce. It was passionate and just what we both needed at the time. Part of the reason was we both knew it was not to last but we had a lot of fun together.
You influence your luck, or life. Both good and bad. Don't blame yourself. You deserve grace.
Hugs!!
Well, sometimes a little bit of blame isn't a bad thing.
I, too, "won" the gene-pool lottery. In the long-run, I'd say that's been better for me than the luck of any monetary lottery.
I think you're right that you need to be consistent --- it's either good luck/bad luck or hard work/oops.
(177 words)
It's nice to have brains right?
Even though I acknowledge it was just a lucky day in the gene-pool lottery.
Integrity and self-awareness are worthy traits. 💕
"The same grace?" Yes.
Since my recent conversion to "stoicism" I know — blame is pointless.
Smiles work. 🤗
Stoicism eh? 🤔
P.S. I like the new pic!
I appreciate how you’ve tied together the role of privilege and personal effort. Your point about extending grace to yourself is meaningful—it’s something I think many could benefit from reflecting on.
Thank you.
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb. One thing I really feel is the best way to look at things from this perspective....The greatest luck in love isn't finding the perfect person, but discovering someone who makes you forget about perfection.
Please accept an additional emoji for your first sentence 😂
I think your second part is so true! HWD definitely has some imperfections but we have fun together and I really enjoy being with him.
Yup, quite possible that the same work ethic that got you to where you are, is also what makes you attribute any disappointments to lack of effort on your part.
Good point!
You should give yourself some slack.
Our creation and being is, as you say, involves a lot of luck. I tend to see luck as random chance.
For a while there I had to wonder if there was something about me that was unloveable. Yep...I need to be nicer to myself.