I'm continuing with my ongoing project off saving off and deleting old blog posts. Every now and then I come across one that makes me laugh or makes me think, or both...
Here is one of them.
Hackneyed dating advice
If you don't want to click away to read the post - in a nutshell, I was reading a book and one of the pieces of advice was that women might need to "date down" to find a good man. I quote:
A Good Man is EASY to Find - As long as you pursue men who are in short supply but in great demand you will find that "a good man is hard to find". But if you are willing to broaden your horizons and at least consider the millions of shorter, poorer, less educated, shy, beta males, you will find there is no shortage of great guys available who are overlooked in favor of the Donald Trumps of the world.
Oh I should also mention that the premise of the book was that dating success could be found by not dating men who are like Donald Trump. DUH. 😒
Well I finally followed the advice. HWD is not less educated (although granted, his advanced degree is extremely impractical). He is not particularly shy. Beta? I don't really like that term but yeah, I wouldn't call him an alpha guy and to me that's a plus (thinking back to the time that my ex went ballistic on a guy who was trying to chat me up at a bar).
But he is definitely shorter (see: most recent blog post). And MOST definitely poorer.
The poverty doesn't really bother me EXCEPT it results in not very much free time for him - being as he has both a "regular" job and a weekend job. And it's very improbable that early retirement (or even "normal age" retirement) is going to be an option for him, so if we stay together he'll probably still be working when I'm 80? 😳
This is the weird way my mind works and then I tell myself who knows whether we'll be together that long.
What DOES he have going for him? He's smart and funny (and very easily amused, it's a joy to watch movies with him because of his uproarious laughter). And compassionate and a good dad. As good ol' Ann Landers used to say, the key question is whether you're better off with him or without him. I feel I'm better off with him.
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13 comments
When you first met HWD, you weren't exactly looking for a lasting relationship. Things happened to work out that way.
Seems to me that good things are found when you aren't particularly looking.
Good point!
When I was not particularly looking is when I stumbled into my best relationships.
I need to start going through mine.... removing them after saving.
It's tough to be on different levels of spending/saving, I'm glad you're still traveling!!!
It hasn't been as difficult as I might have thought. I scratch my fancy restaurant meal itch by going out with a restaurant meet-up group.
HWD does sound like a great, forever kind of guy.
And while he may be poorer, at least he is working hard and not expecting you to be his sugar mama. That is a huge bonus. I respect that.
Hugs!!
We’ll see about forever…but I’m happy with him now.
HWD has a lot going for him, plus he likes you!
He likes me well enough to take advantage of having a nice place to live! 😂 Just kidding. I know he likes me. And I think the fact that our relationship is technically open helps keep him from feeling like he's stuck.
These things often happen when you least expect them to. It's a lovely thing to hear from you, we all deserve a wee slice of the happiness cake.
Now, should I be getting the kilt dry-cleaned?
Um...are you implying wedding bells? I don't think that's going to happen. I can deal with his financial insecurity but don't really want to formally connect with it. 😂
The only reason I can think of to get married would be if he could get survivor benefits from my social security, but I'm pretty sure we would have had to been married when I first started claiming it, for that to happen.
@smartasswoman
Nooooo . . . just a wee tickle.
I think differences make a great mix, and I'm delighted for you both.
I'm glad that expanding your horizons worked out for you. Mostly I mean the height one, because I never considered you to be all that "snooty" economically (though yeah the working hard forever means he can't travel with you).
And why are you deleting old posts? To get under the magic number so you can get back to your porn posting way? 🤣
My stance before I met him was that I don't need anyone to pay MY way, but it would be nice to meet someone who could afford to travel with me 50-50. Since his work and kid obligations prevent him from taking long trips, and he doesn't seem to mind that I go alone, it's less of an obstacle than I would have thought.
I did ConfirmID a while back so I don't have to worry about the magic number. Rather, I feel at some point the blogs are probably going to shut down and I want to have my content saved off before then. I have experience with this! For a few years I had a blog on MySpce (remember MySpce?). As it started to go down the tubes I finally thought to check whether my content was still there and made an attempt to save it off. Which I later realized didn't work...and by then the content WAS gone. I lost quite a few stories about my shenanigans in my early days on this site.
@smartasswoman MySpce??!! Heck I never even joined FB until I retired and found out a lot of the camera club's interaction took place there.
I know many view this place as a diary of sorts, and I guess I do as well to some degree. But the thought of off-loading my blogs seems about as dauting as scanning all those old photographs I said I was going to do or transcribing those albums into MP3s (an idea that went away when Mrs. C sold them all off to a local store).
@CleavageFan4U It would be daunting if I had given myself any kind of a rigorous deadline. As it is, I save and delete two or three blogs a day (when I remember) and it's already less than half the beginning count. A fair number went straight to deletion, too.