I know I said I wasn't going to post about any of my girlfriends after the last posting. But I have an urge to write about girlfriend #17. I've found it quite therapeutic and even cathartic writing about my ex-girlfriends though I've left it rather late in the day to put into effect any lessons learnt!
Girlfriend #17 shares her first name with the three famous women shown in the photos above and below.
I met girlfriend #17 at an academic conference, the only conference where I got off with someone. After presenting a conference paper on local democratic innovation with a colleague, she came up to me to say how she found the paper interesting and to say that she's doing doctoral research in that area. We exchanged business cards to keep in touch.
At the dinner I saw girlfriend #17 at a table with her colleague and empty spaces on her table. My colleague and I joined them. I made sure I sat next to girlfriend #17; I think by this time my colleague knew what was happening. I sent him, my PhD student, to a conference in Italy in which he met the love of his life from Spain, so he owed me so to speak!
At the dinner table I quizzed girlfriend #17 about her research. I was amused and even bemused. She was a postmodern sociologist, all the rage back in the 1990s - see ON BEING MODERN (AND POSTMODERN). As a modern political scientist, I hadn't got a clue what she was talking about - her research saw things as performative art and, in this case, a picnic in the woods. I was lost for words though I admired her academic passion.
At the end of the dinner, and after a few alcoholic drinks, I asked girlfriend #17 whether she could invite me to her bedroom. She invited me. In her bedroom we had sex, though I nearly spoilt things as we were having sex I told her that she hardly knows me. My words nearly made her freak out. I went out of my way to say that I'm safe. We then proceeded to finish having sex, or maybe it was me who was finishing having sex!
Has there been a relationship you've had but you never gave it a chance?
What unsuccessful relationship took you ages to accept it had failed?
Have you worked out the first name of girlfriend #17?
After the conference, girlfriend #17 and I kept in touch. She invited me to visit her one weekend at her parents' house while they were away. The house was very suburban England; it reminded me of George Orwell's book Keep the Aspidistra Flying, arguably one of his best amongst many great books he wrote. Homage to Catalonia about his days fighting against Franco in the Spanish Civil War was his best book.
Girlfriend #17 organised a party at her parents' house, this is what you do when your parents are away. Before the party was about to start, I remember us messing about in the lounge. I suggested we retire to a bedroom. She said there's no way that's going to happen as she didn't want to have sex in her parents' bedroom. Fair enough, well, very fair enough. She just bent over naked in her parents' lounge while I fucked her from behind while she was standing.
For the party, some of girlfriend #17's friends pitched tents on very spacious the back garden - I guess her friends knew there were limited beds at her parents' house. This seemed like a serious party. During the party, I remember girlfriend #17 saying that her friends, particularly one couple, were having sex and they asked us to join them in their tent.
Like a fool, I said no. That could have been my first swinging experience. But I felt out of my depth. Looking back, I now kick myself at my prudishness.
Also I poured my heart out to girlfriend #17 about my feelings towards an ex-girlfriend #12 (see GIRLFRIEND 12). And on the Monday after the weekend I was due to drive up to Manchester to collect girlfriend #12 from the airport. It's no wonder my relationship with girlfriend #17 never worked. Too much honesty and too much delusion, all from me.
And to this day, I still wonder about the teddy bear's picnic in the woods!
And also to this day I realise I fucked up at least two relationships, girlfriend #17 and girlfriend #27 (see GIRLFRIEND 27) because of my feelings for girlfriend #12, or rather my denial of accepting the reality of the situation. It took me a long time emotionally to get over girlfriend #12. Many years later I think I'm now over her!
This is definitely the last one in the series of girlfriends unless you want me to blog about girlfriends #3, #4, #10, #18 and #30! Thank you for indulging me.
For links to previous blog posts about my girlfriends, see the first comment below.
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16 comments
I was in a relationship with an amazing gentleman several years back. We really clicked on all sorts of levels. But, in the end, the distance turned out to be way too much for the both of us.
Distance makes things difficult for relationships to survive. I don't know how people in long distance relationships do it.
It’s never a good idea to pine over past relationships or bad-mouth them to a new relationship.
That's definitely a no-no but I did so then!
I can't bring myself to talk about my past relationships and/or experiences.. That would be like a greek tragedy!
Arguably a Greek tragedy is better than a comedy!
I agree with you that writing and sharing with others about past relationships, especially when the experience wasn’t good, is cathartic. Your 17th girlfriend's name is Charlotte: this time it was easy, at least for those of us who were born 'a few years ago'
And to end my comment: "too much honesty" is not always a good idea... 
Charlotte is correct. You're the first to guess correctly. I'm awarding you a gold star!
Never met anyone at an academic conference that I wanted to F. Yes, Yes.
I've met many at an academic conference I'd like to fuck but this was the first time!
@spunkycumfun academic conferences in US like AFf sausage festivals and women would never F
@bignicktx American conferences do seem to be more formal and serious than European ones.
Of course I want you to blog about 3, 4, 10, 18, and 30! Then I can read them in the chronological order my ODCishness craves,
Now you've thrown down the gauntlet. Girlfriends #3, #4, #10 and #18 are very uneventful and short relationships. And girlfriend #30 is wife #2. I'm not sure I want to be a cad and blog about my wife while still with her!
@spunkycumfun No ... don't blog about gf#30! I can read them in order and when I reach an unblogged GF I will mentally think "uneventful, uneventful, uneventful, uneventful, wife"
@superbjversion2 there's two of you goading me to finish the series now!
Has there been a relationship you've had but you never gave it a chance? - MANY of the women I've dated via this site were way "above" me - vastly too hot to be involved with a guy like me, but I drove on anyway and succeeded way beyond what I should have.
What unsuccessful relationship took you ages to accept it had failed? - You mean other than my current marriage? 😲
Have you worked out the first name of girlfriend #17? - NOPE and i'm blaming the missing photos.
There are two missing photos. The first and only photo that made it is of Charlotte Rampling.
You have had some interesting relationships. I don't know the name of girlfriend 17 as the pictures at the bottom have disappeared. I think relationships that fail only make you stronger for the next one.
May your Monday be a great start to your new week..
Charlotte is her name. Two of the photos didn't make it past first base!
The pic thieves at it again...only name that comes to mind with the one clue Natalie ?
Two of the images never made it. The photo that did make it is of Charlotte Rampling.
This blog post is part of a series of posts on the 31 girlfriends (including two wives) I've had - see my GIRLFRIEND 1, GIRLFRIEND 2, GIRLFRIEND 5, GIRLFRIEND 6, GIRLFRIEND 7, GIRLFRIEND 8, GIRLFRIEND 9, GIRLFRIEND 11, GIRLFRIEND 12, GIRLFRIEND 13, GIRLFRIEND 14, GIRLFRIEND 16, GIRLFRIEND 19, GIRLFRIEND 20, GIRLFRIEND 21, GIRLFRIEND 22, GIRLFRIEND 23, GIRLFRIEND 24, GIRLFRIEND 25, GIRLFRIEND 26, GIRLFRIEND 27, GIRLFRIEND 28, GIRLFRIEND 29 and GIRLFRIEND 31 blog posts.
I readily accept that my view of a girlfriend is different to others - see my GIRLFRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS blog post.