My partner and I for one couple from Leicester, about twenty miles from Nottingham, to meet us in a local bar. Usual precautions were taken, exchange of mails and face photographs plus a phone call.
The meet went well and we retired back to my nearby apartment and had sex with them.
It was only when I talked to my partner about the meet that I realised that the meet wasn't so good. It was one of our first meets with a couple. Right from the start of the meet in the bar, the man of the other couple called Kevin decide he could do what he liked with my partner. He was feeling her leg and trying to finger her pussy under the table at the bar without her consent. My partner tolerated his behaviour because she thought this was normal for swinging. It wasn't and it isn't.
Have you ever gone on a date with someone when they presumed sex was going to happen?
This was a wake-up call to me. Though relatively inexperienced at swinging, my partner and I needed to lay down ground rules. Agreeing to meet with another couple isn't the same as agreeing to have sex with them. And, perhaps more important, that my partner didn't have to put up with this shit. That's why I'm calling him out by his first name because I bet he's still being a predatory and entitled male now. I believe he's still a member of the site, though as a single man this time.
My partner and I decided that in future first meets my partner would sit next to me or the other woman and, even better, between me and the other woman to prevent any groping under the table by the other man.
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I have dated quite a few presumptuous men, over the years.
As for myself, I don't presume but there are times that I'm hopeful.
I always live in hope!
Pre-covid, I went out on a few dates with guys from this site. As you stated in your blog, I took the usual precautions: chatted at length, cam to cam, phone call and, most importantly, let them know several times that sex was not going to happen on the first date. First three went fine, respectful, fun guys tho no sparks but I still chat with one of them on the site. The fourth was like your Kevin except he just wanted to skip dinner and go to the motel room he had reserved for 'us'. I reminded him of our agreement and he said he knew that was just a 'line' to play hard to get. I told him it was definitely not a line, got up and walked out. He did follow me out but he was far enough behind because he had to pay the bill that I had no problem getting into my car, in the crowded parking lot and drove off with a smile on my face.
I'm glad you walked out on that very presumptuous man.
No I can't say I have ever been on a date where the other person thought sex was going to be included. If there is not chemistry that's just not on the table. I am sorry that happened to your partner and I am glad you both set rules for the swinging dates to continue.
I hope your Friday is a fun start to your weekend..
The man was an idiot.
If that seems their primary objective, I make it clear before meeting it is not guaranteed. I walked out on a man, when just after being served a drink, he leaned over and said, ‘Shall we get that room now’
Some people need to communicate more and presume less.
I have explicity told many men that I don't have sex on a first meet and have been completely dismissed more than once. Some men can be real entitled assholes.
Some men are stupid. You should be totally respected about no sex on the first meet.
Kevin clearly was a selfish, rude, and inconsiderate idiot. No wonder he's single.
Kevin was like a little kid in a sweet shop.
Don't date unless someone would like to with. Not necessarily that night
Sometimes you need to meet someone to check whether there's any chemistry or not.
@spunkycumfun more or less all ready would know on a base level prior
@bignicktx We only swapped face pictures and, a few mails, and we had one phone call to go on. That's not much of a base.
@spunkycumfun you are seemingly communicating about your dates as a swinging couple. Wheras most of my dating refer to when in University and thereafter when lived in big cities
@bignicktx I'm talking about swinging couples here, where the dating game is a bit different.
I have had a man be very presumptuous. He acted like a junior high boy being all grabby while we were trying to chat. Did not go any further with him. Turns out his wife enjoys him being over eager and selfish. She can keep him! LOL
The husband and wife sound as if they were made for each other.
I think I would do things like you ended up doing them after the Kevin fail.
Great minds think alike!
Almost everything has happened to me on first dates: both on my own with men, and with my husband for MFM threesomes or the occasional couple swap, but on 'planned dates', I’ve never had a “Kevin,” except for the few times we had already agreed over the phone that there would be sex on the first date. But even then, the guys would hold back a little, and I was the one who had to make the first move. However, lately, most times I have sex on the first date.
I have no problem whatsoever with sex on the first meet but I did have a problem with the man's non-consensual groping under the table.
@spunkycumfun Yes, of course.
that's rude. and a very creepy vibe
He was a creep.
It's situations like this why we usually don't play on the first meeting. Being able to discuss the first meeting in private together is extremely important to us in case something happened the other didn't know about. We tried it where we'd just step aside and discuss it but it was too awkward feeling like we had a time limit to decide, knowing that the other couple was waiting on our decision. Then coming back and telling them we're not feeling it when we knew they were (or vise versa) was difficult to say the least! Now we just tell them ahead of time that we don't play on the first meet so no one has expectations of more happening.
I'm not sure if we had told the couple that we don't play on first meet would have stopped his preying hands!
UGH, I just HATE it when a new date ASSumes she's going to get to have sex with me!! 😮
But seriously, yeah, he seems to be an entitled fuck.
He was well out of order preying on innocents!
Aha. Yes. I did experience this again a few years ago. I have abstained from going to.work.parties for many years, you know, getting drunk around people you don't really like is not always a good thing. Anyhow, I went along to this one outing and was soon being hit on by a much younger lady. We mingled a while but eventually broke away to have a better conversation and a hug away from prying eyes. She had been through a bad time health wise just before the party. Well much as I really really wanted to be very naughty with her, I very politely declined at which point she said to me that was why we left so that she could have me. Well the opportunity never arose for a repeat chance and I eventually found out who's daughter she was and to this day am kicking myself for.not doing nasty things to her.
I'm guessing that you didn't like her father.
@spunkycumfun hell no he was a proper c**t at school!
@Ayebeuy I had a few of those at my school!
@spunkycumfun to be fair she is pretty hot too
@Ayebeuy At least there was a double-motive!
@spunkycumfun such a shame I was being a kind person considering her recent past. Damn fool.
@Ayebeuy It's often best to be kind.
This blog post is part of a series of my swinging moments. See SWINGING MOMENT 1: FROM THE HOT TUB TO THE LOUNGE VIA THE KITCHEN, SWINGING MOMENT 2: THE SMOKIN' HOT CHAIN MAIL DRESS, SWINGING MOMENT 3: NEARLY A DOUBLE-PENETRATION AT A LUXURY HOTEL, SWINGING MOMENT 4: EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING!, SWINGING MOMENT 5: SWINGERS HERE LOVE A PREMIER INN!, SWINGING MOMENT 6: JUST WATCHING OTHERS, SWINGING MOMENT 7: HALFWAY AT UTTOXETER, SWINGING MOMENT 8: BLOOD AT A SEX PARTY, SWINGING MOMENT 9: TWO BIG NIPPLES AND ONE BIG COCK, SWINGING MOMENT 10: AN 'ORGY' IN A HOTEL ROOM, SWINGING MOMENT 11: A ZIPLESS FUCK IN A JACUZZI, SWINGING MOMENT 12: NOT SWINGING WITH CANADA, SWINGING MOMENT 13: WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE CALLED POOPAL? and SWINGING MOMENT 14: THE MAN WITH A CANE AND A NON-PLAYING WIFE for other swinging moments.
These posts are solely my recollections. I readily accept that others may recall the swinging moments differently, especially the interpretation of the moments.