This is my contribution to this month's new virtual symposium's 'Second Chances' - see NVS11 December 2025.
I know I've bored you all silly with a blogging series of my 31 girlfriends, including two wives. But I've gone through my list again to see how many chances there were or how many second chances were wanted.
On my side, I wanted a second chance with four girlfriends, three refused and one relented but that relationship soon ended in acrimony. On their side, four girlfriends wanted a second chance with me of which I turned down three and relented once. Of the one girlfriend I gave a second chance to, a willing second chance it has to be said, she is now wife and, as things stand, my longest serving girlfriend. But, of course there's a but, I think nearly everyone knows the state of my marriage.
Have second chances in relationships worked for you?
In my experience, second chances in relationships haven't worked very well. Though the idea of a second chance is appealing, there's a reason why the relationship broke down the first time and that reason is likely to reappear in some guise the second time round.
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21 comments
Interesting question… Generally, they haven’t worked, and exceptionally, when they have worked partially, the second ‘round’ hasn’t been the same.
For the second chance to work, I think generally it has to be different than the first time round.
@spunkycumfun Mmmmm good point! maybe, yes...
There are few that I've given second chances to, but I ended up regretting it. Second chances don't work.
That's my experience too.
I can’t think of any relationships where we tried a second time. 🤷♀️
Long may that run continue.
Most people blow second chances ....
And even third chances!
The fact that someone is willing to give a second chance to a partner speaks well of that someone's character. Sadly, second chances can be like a gluing a broken plate...it's still functional but isn't as strong as it once was.
I've never thought myself as a broken plate but I will now!
@spunkycumfun I was thinking of the relationship being the broken plate. You are the someone with character.
@superbjversion2 Just as I was getting into my new broken plate role!
I got a second chance and instructions to fallow when sent back. I fallow them to a tee. Live each day as if it was your last, cuz you just never know when it is.
I'm not sure I'd like a second chance on terms of following instructions. I hope you get to set some instructions.
@spunkycumfun Having a second chance has a way of changing your life for the better. I'm thinking you'd have to be a fool not to obey what your MAKER told you what to do. I've had 8 yrs of pleasaure so far.
@VikkiLouisecd That's many years of pleasure.
Second chances never turn out better for me. Don't need to keep trying if I gave it my all from the first try.
That's a fair point.
I don't recall ever having a formal second chance, although I am sure there are some. I suspect I was given plenty of second chances that I wasn't aware of (boss not firing me after screwing up; girlfriend putting up with my bullshit once to often). I do have regrets, and I guess those are like unfulfilled second chance wishes. They seem to pile up as I get older.
I guess the key thing is to learn from the past to shape the present and the future.
Great read this morning and contribution to the NVS. You know I did get a second chance with this hubby as when we first got together he felt he was moving too fast ( as I would be wifey number three for him ). So he told my best friend he needed some space, as I was a bit disappointed I thought okay fine.
Then I started to date a couple of other men and one night when my cowboy as I call was out we were in the hallway of a bar kissing and my hubbies sister walked past and called my name and said what are you doing? I said what does it look like I am doing and she said what about my brother? I said what about him? Well anyway's the next thing I know her brother is showing up at our apartment and wanting to talk to me.
Then my cowboy got upset because I was made to choose who I wanted to be with, you see my cowboy was cheating on his girlfriend with me, so it was a pretty easy decision as I truly loved my hubby.
I hope you enjoy a very tempting Thursday my friend..
Sometimes when one person sees an ex with someone else, it brings them to their senses.
My contribution to this symposium is in work and should be out tomorrow. It is about a second chance I gave a person that worked out quite well - at five years and counting.
Five years is very much a successful second chance.
Generally don't work as the friction that led to the possible second chance altered the nature of the relationship. Have granted some go away shags
I hope I've never been granted any "go away shags"!
@spunkycumfun could make into songs your all out of shags yet I will still shag without you
@bignicktx That would be a number one song!
@spunkycumfun yes set to the music to a popular pop song
@spunkycumfun the go away shag girls after finished would always take away possibility of any formal back together as would point out they only wanted me for my bedroom abilities, and that they should at least desire for my mind. Kind of turning upside down the female desire to be seen
I've given and been given 2nd, third, fourth, more'th chances, all of which failed spectacularly, except for one.
It's a chancy business giving and receiving second, third, etc chances!