I've been wondering, lately, if better than nothing really is better than nothing.
It depends, naturally, on what is the something you want ... plus the who, where, when, and how. Probably need to factor in barometric pressure and planetary conjunctions, too. It's, admittedly, complex.
I decided to look at one factor in the something I want ... frequency.
Ideally, I would like to see my sex partner once a week.
In one year, that would be 52 physical encounters.
That is 14.3% of available days. (leap year deliberately omitted in my calculations)
In one year, I saw my long-distance guy for 8 days/month for 8 months. (I took the summers off) That came to 17.5% of available days. Above what I want. That's one reason it lasted for 4 years.
But what if I get less than I want?
Twice each month comes to 6.58%
Once per month is 3.29%
Every other month brings it down to 1.64%
Quarterly = 1.09%
Semiannually = 0.55% of available days.
For some people, that half percent is better than nothing.
I'm just not one of them.
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The first hurdle is to find someone you'd like to meet and have sex with for more than a percentage point.
I somehow manage to find them ... and then I watch my percentages take a nose dive.
Figuring just what it is you want and how often you want it can indeed get complex. I can certainly understand your thoughts about something is better than nothing. Getting to have some mind boggling, senses exploding sex but only twice or four times a year may feel good in the moment but leave you feeling the lack of it more than if you aren't getting any.
Sending you big naked hugs and my hope that you may be fortunate enough to stumble on someone who lives close enough for you to see fairly often, (however you may define that) and to give you both the sexual and emotional, intellectual satisfaction that you so very much deserve.
From your keyboard to heaven's ear!
Arithmetic is great until it tells you the truth like that!!
You deserve more, you're worth it!!
My percentages are better than the interest rates on CDs.
I do want to point out that there can be once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that are waaaay better than nothing.
@superbjversion2
Took me a while to work out what CDs are . . . believe it or not, my first thought was compact disks!!
Yep, a once in a lifetime opportunity should be grasped for all it's worth!!
@superbjversion2 You are right about those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Remembering something like that can help you keep warm when you are getting nothing.
@superbjversion2 It appears to me the rate of interest in CDs is much higher than normal. According to this week's DOGE committee meeting lead by MTG, NPR is turning children in the U.S. into drag queens. As a side note, I'd like to meet 10 children who listen to NPR everyday. And it is not because I am looking for novice drag queens. Ten children who listen to NPR would give me hope. .... where all the women are strong, the men are good looking, and the children are all above average... Lake Wobegone, MN - Thx NPR
@SoGood2Know Garrison Keillor is alive and well!
If MTG knew what NPR is THAT would give me hope
@superbjversion2 There are too many of the uninformed trying to exercise power. DOGE terminated a bunch of people at the Bonneville Power Administration. How much savings is that for taxpayers? Zero. BPA is self funded. (Tell me again why they were let go? ) If you stop hearing from me, it may be because I don't have electricity. Sometimes you just don't know what you've got until its gone. Hey democracy - how 's everything? --- In the mean time, I'm loving the witty responses from SBJ.
@SoGood2Know Anything green is gone. That's the policy of the People in the No.
It’s interesting to reflect on whether 'better than nothing' is truly better. Personal expectations and priorities are foundational to make the choice.
You’ve laid out your perspective, and it’s clear you have a strong sense of what fulfills you. It sounds like, for you, settling for less wouldn’t bring the satisfaction you’re looking for.
5% sounds good ... as a bottom line. That would be about 3 times every 2 months. But, yes, someone willing to spend time with me has always been a need for fulfillment.
I've never calculated my percentages and not thought about my percentage threshold. That's now my next task!
I never said that sex would happen ... just that I'd like to see my partner weekly. So, if you and your spouse still have sex - even sporadically - your percentage of seeing your sex partner is quite high.
@superbjversion2 Unfortunately it's nil!
I always wanted someone I could see at least every week if not more often. I am into relationships obviously.
If it was just sex, once a week would be good. If it is good sex. You have to factor the quality into your equation.
There are a lot of factors that go into determining if something is better than nothing. That math is beyond me!
I suppose it's where I am in the whole menopause thing but I see the lover that I have sex with about quarterly (1.09%) now and I'm ok with that. When we first met, 3 years ago, he was stationed close enough to see weekly or every other. Then he moved but work brought him back to the area or somewhere I could travel to meet about every other month. That was ok too. Now the gaps between visits are longer but I've got no real interest in adding a lover because it's just... SO. MUCH. WORK. and I don't have the energy to spare. I'm ok with nothing until q2 rolls along and the planets align and my lover and I get a few days together.
Fuck those damn percentages tho... jeeeez. Why ya gotta do us like that?
The percentages were mostly aimed at those people (guys) that think once a week is a HUGE commitment.
@superbjversion2 Just shows how silly and clueless so many of us guys can be.
Hummm, I never made the calculation. Probably just as well - too depressing.
Your situation as a married person is different than mine but would you think once a year is better than nothing?
@superbjversion2 Well sure, once a DECADE is better than nothing, but it sure is not "enough"!
@CleavageFan4U This is how we differ. I can handle celibacy a whole lot better than barely ever.
@superbjversion2 You're right - I don't get that! 😂
I think 1 to 2 times a week is nice. I’ve had that out of town erratic one for years. He comes here, I don’t go there. It gets less exciting.out of sight out of mind is a real thing. Sadly you know who would be a regular is the local married. Those are a dime a dozen. Life just ain’t fair.💁🏻♀️
I confess that I've had my share of local marrieds ... they aren't all that reliably regular, either
I said yes last time because I was giving benefit of the doubt and under the adage that something was better than nothing. Reflecting back...I think nothing was better.
Hippiechick was right saying that better than nothing is very subjective. I've had quarterly partners that were better than nothing and 2/month that weren't.
Weekly was my routine with HWD…until he ended up moving in…and yes, that was pretty ideal. Twice a month might work with a really good connection. Less than that and it would be hard to feel close enough for it to be an intimate experience. Unless it was someone I already knew well? Like a good friend or a past lover.
Ah well, if things ever fizzle out with HwD I suspect that I will be done. 😕
Once a week would be my ideal. I tolerate much less than that ... for the right person. But there are times when one wonders if nothing would be better.