Old Man Winter
32 North Wind Ave
Earth
Dear Sir,
It has come to the attention of the Winter Tolerance Foundation that you are in breech of contract with the State of Michigan. The Four Seasons contract, paragraph 3, section 2b clearly states: Due to a love of sledding and snowman building, the State of Michigan will grant Mr. Winter 2 extra months of snowfall. However, said snowfall shall not occur before Halloween and is not to extend beyond April 1.
WTF is here to help you stay compliant. We understand that you feel the need to use your entire quota of snow or risk a reduction in next year's amount. WTF has reached out to the Arctic Circle and they are more than willing to take your leftover snow in the future.
If you need assistance with budgeting, WTF will gladly make suggestions. Perhaps a return to increased snowfall at Christmastime will help decrease the amount of redundant snow in future Aprils. We have noticed a slacking off of White Christmases in recent years.
Please reach out if you have any questions or needs.
Warmly,
Super BJ
WTF VP of Seasonal Compliance
23
18 comments
Perfect acronym for a foundation dealing with weather matters 😂
I invoke that foundation almost every day!
Winter is a long time going this year, I agree completely with you. The older I get the more I hate the cold. I hope summer lasts as long this year.
I'm ready for just a nice long SPRING
you know, here in my part of California, we get no snow whatsoever. Maybe we can work something out that will benefit everyone. I'm thinking Win/Win.
Are you sure? With snow comes cold and I know you don't like the cold!
Brilliant! Old Man Winter has truly overstayed his welcome, and I fully support WTF’s intervention. Hopefully, he takes this contractual violation seriously and redirects his surplus snowfall elsewhere—preferably NOT in late April! Maybe a little extra budgeting advice will get him back on track before next season. And please don’t send the snow here!
I was thinking the Arctic Circle ... maybe Greenland.
Ditto Commonwealth of Massachusetts
I think there are a lot of places that have a beef with Old Man Winter!
I am totally in agreement with WTF! Winter seems to be in breach of contract for the state of Wisconsin too. Hell of a note when the Florida panhandle can get more snow to date at any time than Wisconsin.
Very spot on and clever bit of letter writing. I note that you did not tell him to go on Hiatus so Spring and Summer may arrive with "Clothes! We don't need clothes to keep warm." weather.
Sending you big naked hugs that will still have to done inside for a while.
While my area didn't get any huge snowfalls, we did get 1-2 inches often.
@superbjversion2 We did have a couple of moderately heavy falls ie, 6 or 7 inches, they only showed up after Florida got hit. We did have many bouts with just a few flurries.
I should send this to my daughter. Lol. She's been accepted to the U of Michigan. She says she wants a colder climate. We'll see...
Congrats to your daughter on being accepted to UofM. It's a beautiful campus and Ann Arbor has a lot to offer culturally but make sure she packs warm, water-resistant boots, gloves, hat, scarf and a heavy coat. A SAD light wouldn't be a bad idea either. Michigan winters are very cloudy.
You can send this to her if you'd like
@superbjversion2 Thank you...I screenshot it and will show her when I get home. I'm at a conference this week. I appreciate the inside tips on living there.
Bravo!! I love it!! LOL
We all have our weather complaints. You've just found mine.
Very clever.
WTF indeed. Send some this way. We'll take moisture in any form at this stage of things.
Are you sure? Parts of the Upper Peninsula (that's almost Canada) got close to a foot of snow on Monday.
@superbjversion2 We're Dust Bowl dry, so YES.
@CleavageFan4U I think that all the snow that's cleared from parking lots should get trucked to KS next winter.
@superbjversion2 We just don't want your salt, and dog pee.
I think Michigan's Winter Tolerance Foundation needs some soft love from Old Man Winter. I'll put in a good word on its behalf!
A great contribution to the virtual symposium.
Old Man Winter has used up all the tolerance of the Winter Tolerance Foundation. He's just gotta go!