NVS14: Being Real

I want a real man.
I want a real woman.
You've seen those requests, I'm sure.
But nobody actually explains what they mean by real.
Is a real man only a person born with XY chromosomes?
Is a real woman anyone with a vagina?

The answer depends on who you ask.

For some, a real man or woman is a person whose genitals coincide with their DNA.
For others, it's the genitalia that makes the gender.
For many, it's how well do they conform to societal stereotypes.
For instance, a man wanting a real woman could mean he wants a Trad-Wife type.
A woman wanting a real man could mean a man who isn't afraid to do 'woman's' work.

But you're not asking them; you're asking me.
So, here is my opinion.

A real man or real woman is a person that is true to their self.
True to their own thoughts and feelings; their own likes and dislikes, despite society's opinion.
Someone that wears pink, simply because they like pink.
Someone who will put on grandma's apron simply because they need an apron.
Someone who doesn't care that they're wearing pearl earrings and a bib overall.

Someone that doesn't adhere to traditional gender roles because they know that each man and woman has strengths and weaknesses that are outside of gender stereotype.
Not every man likes to work on cars. Not every woman likes babies.

So, to me, a real man or a real woman is someone that honors and respects their inner person ... regardless of any gender-specific labels that others try to place on them.

And I think life works better if one chooses a partner that defines 'real' the same as you.

NVS14 March 2026